I confess I posted this on another forum, but thought this may be a better place for it:
I have been going through a rough patch lately. Not making good choices, and paying for them. Procrastination, overconfidence, lack of confidence, pushing too hard, or pushing too softly. What ever the case, things have not been going well.
I pray for God to show me the way. I tell him I am weak (as if he doesn’t know this) and am in need of mercy. I go to Mass and pray for the strength to overcome these difficulties, and resolve to dedicate my will toward these ends, but I seem to fail.
I know I choose my will (that is contrary to HIS will) too often. That is the obvious answer. But I try to do what I think is His will, and it doesn’t always prove to be fruitful (yes, patience is a virtue, but I am short on that lately)
The mystery of willpower in our covenant with God is confusing to me right now. Very troubled. Lacking in in my own will power to even follow His will, if you can understand that.
How much is success in this world dependent of our will, how much is it dependent of God’s will??