Going back to Church with wife


#1

I converted in 2003 after several years of waiting. I decided in 1996 to convert and my wife told me if I waited till all the children left home she would join me. Later on I realized that by waiting it would only make it easy for her to end the marriage because the kids would be gone. So I started attending RCIA in 2002. Our pastor (PCA) would not let her attend RCIA with me and I was surprised to be taken off the membership role. After several anti catholic comments made during sermons and her going to her Elders. it was time for me to move on. Long story short. She has told me that she was going to leave her church and try to find one we could attend together. This happen because I did visit a couple of protestant chuch with her and I listen to the popular christian music station. Anyway she refuses to go to Church with me. So during our last discourse I told her that I would only attend church with her if she would go to Mass with me weekly. After lots of tears she agreed.Wow! So after we attended Mass (which lasted fifty minutes) we went to her church where the sermon alone lasted fifty minutes. I feel that her attending with me is a step in the right direction and a step back for me. I am blessed that maybe the real presence will open her heart but so much do not like hearing so much preaching from a protestant. Any advice?


#2

This is great news! Congrats. I hope you two grow in faith together.

Love is a series of compromises and sacrifices, and from the story you've shared, I can tell you two love each other. Stay anchored in the faith, and do your best. Most protestants have great hearts, and good christian morals and preaching. It might not be bad to attend the other service. Still, some protestants are a little more misguided in their teaching. There are so many brands it's impossible to say! If you go for your wife's sake, make sure to be discerning and take it with a grain of salt.

I'm not sure what is the best thing for your situation. I think the progress that has been made is great though. I will pray for you, that you both continue to grow in Christ. Pray for me too! My fiancee is exploring returning to catholocism.


#3

If you are going to a protestant church with her and she is attending Mass with you- try not to compare and say I told you so- just let it develop naturally. Invite a priest over for dinner- just for fellowship. Be 'caught' reading the Bible- because, you know, Catholics read the Bible (my mom has read a chapter a day for 20 years- completed the Bible many times) Get a good booklet on the rosary with plenty of Biblical references and leave it on the kitchen counter after you have prayed a rosary- no preaching, no demanding-

During Sunday dinner- get out your Bible and turn to that Sunday's epistle or Gospel- read it and ask your lovely wife- what do you think...remember when Fr. John said...in his homily....do you agree......?

Good luck and praying for you!


#4

Sounds like you are already on the right track honestly. You are just going to tough out the protestant preaching for your wife/marriages sake for now. Even if the message is rarely of value to you training your patience certainly will be.


#5

[quote="lindsaypace, post:1, topic:219647"]
I converted in 2003 after several years of waiting. I decided in 1996 to convert and my wife told me if I waited till all the children left home she would join me. Later on I realized that by waiting it would only make it easy for her to end the marriage because the kids would be gone. So I started attending RCIA in 2002. Our pastor (PCA) would not let her attend RCIA with me and I was surprised to be taken off the membership role. After several anti catholic comments made during sermons and her going to her Elders. it was time for me to move on. Long story short. She has told me that she was going to leave her church and try to find one we could attend together. This happen because I did visit a couple of protestant chuch with her and I listen to the popular christian music station. Anyway she refuses to go to Church with me. So during our last discourse I told her that I would only attend church with her if she would go to Mass with me weekly. After lots of tears she agreed.Wow! So after we attended Mass (which lasted fifty minutes) we went to her church where the sermon alone lasted fifty minutes. I feel that her attending with me is a step in the right direction and a step back for me. I am blessed that maybe the real presence will open her heart but so much do not like hearing so much preaching from a protestant. Any advice?

[/quote]

If you are going to a Protestant church that does not express anti-Catholic sentiments, for the purpose of a reciprocal agreement by which your wife consents to go to Mass with you, and particularly if you have been in the habit of going with her in the past, I think that is OK. It is something to talk to your pastor about, though. There are real difficulties with it that you need to be aware of as you work through this. I think you'll be glad of his help.


#6

Just remember - mutual respect. It will be OK. There are many steps in the right direction. Don't be afraid to say I don't know either if she asks questions to answers that you don't know - but make sure the next answer is I will find out and pick a book on the subject - usually a good convert from Protestantism like Scott Hahn is a good bet.


#7

Thanks so much for your love and support. I did meet with my Priest a few years back and he told me that maybe I should not be Catholic and consider going back to being a Presbyterian. The Presbyterian chuch pastor is very reformed and told me that Catholic dogma was a danmable hearsy and said he would pray that I would repent. As far as leaving books out for my wife to see, we have booth done that. Her with "The whore of Babloyon" and me with "Crossing the Tiber". I agree with all you and see God at work. It's been my cry to the Blessed Mothe to touch her heart in the way she touched me. Her first week at Mass our Priest talked about how Adam and Eve were not real people and her Pastor preach about the fall due to Adam (Rom 5). The point was she didn't say anything much to my surprise. After I mention how long her service was she told me that she didn't say anything about Mass. So that was more then fair. So I will rely on the Holy Spirit and the love that he sheds on my heart. This is all such a God thing!


#8

Consider finding another parish.


#9

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.