Going to Church


I’m 16 and I haven’t been to Church since I was 7 years old. I’ve been Catholic all my life, but have always gone to a Christian school. When I started high school two years ago, I started at a Catholic high school. It has completely changed me. I really want to go to Church now, but I don’t know how to ask my mom. I know that not going to Church is a sin, and I want to get rid of that. Does anyone have any idea as to how I could ask my mom if she could take me to Church on Sundays?
Thanks for your advice!


I’ll pray you can find your way into Church.



Approach your mom when it’s just you and her, and the two of you have time to spend talking without interruption. Tell her that going to the Catholic high school has been good for you, and tell her in what way it has been good for you (the excellent teachers, your academic accomplishments, the good friends you’ve made). Then tell her that the school’s teachings have made an impact on you and have completely changed you, and you now want to go to church at the Catholic church. Ask her if she could take you to church next Sunday (or Saturday evening). Make sure you know when the Mass times are, so that you can give her that information right then and there.

She thought highly enough of the school to send you there, and surely she realized that you would be taught Catholic teachings. So I think she won’t be too surprised that you want to go to church there now. I will keep you in my prayers that she will agree to take you there.


If you haven’t been to Church since the age of 7 that would suggest you have not been confirmed. Confirmation normally takes place around the age of 12. You should check with your mum.


Confirmation in the US happens in high school now. I’m going to be 17 when I make mine.



Wow. That’s unusual and much later than other countries.


My dear friend

Sounds like your getting on the right track. First I would thank God and ask Him to help you. When your mum is alone and in a good mood ask her if she has time to talk and just ask if she’ll help you because this is very important to you. Let her maternal instinct come into play. Mothers will do near anything to make their children happy. Be an exemplary child for a little while first if you need to. Whilst your waiting pray a lot and read a little about the faith. Show her your serious too. Don’t get angry if she says no. Just tell her to please consider it carefully because it’s very important to you and persist, but gently.

If you really can’t get there then there’s likely no sin. Just keep up those prayers until your old enough to go on your own if needs be.

God bless you and I’ll pray for you. Pray for me too:thumbsup::slight_smile:



Well, I think it varies according to diocese in the UK, which I’ll guess is one of the countries you’re comparing it with.

Our church in the Liverpool Arhdiocese, is currently coming to the end of prep classes for this year’s Confirmations, and it’s involved Year Ten and Year Eleven i.e.15 - 16 year olds, and 16 to 17 year olds, if I’ve worked it out correctly starting from Year Seven being 11 to 12 year olds.

I think it rather worrying that there are two schools of thought as to the proper age for Confirmation. One, that it is the last Sacrament of Initiation, so should be done early, and the other, that it’s the way that teenagers can make a grown-up choice and commitment to the Faith.


Apart from the UK also in Germany, Singapore, Hong Kong and Philippines confirmation is around the age of 12.


Pray to the Holy Spirit to give you the right opportunity and the right words. I often do this when I need courage to speak on matters of faith to someone, and the Holy Spirit has actually given me unexpected opportunities, for example, an opening in a conversation where it would flow naturally.

Remember that by asking your mother to take you to church, you are actually witnessing to your faith.These words from Scripture were describing a different situation, but I think they apply to you as well:

… do not worry beforehand about what you are to say. But say whatever will be given to you at that hour. For it will not be you who are speaking but the holy Spirit. (Mark 13:11)

And if your mother is not hostile to Catholicism but just doesn’t feel like taking you, perhaps she will let you ask a Catholic neighbor or friend to take you.


Thank you for posting this. I thought that I was late. But I have not been confirmed yet, which was correctly guessed. I also haven’t had my first communion (I don’t know if that’s the same thing or not).


Are you still going to that Catholic high school? Does the school have a priest chaplain? Or a priest(s) who comes to celebrate Mass at school regularly? See if you can get an appointment to talk to this priest about your desire to go to Mass and to receive the sacraments. (Ask one of your favorite teachers to help you arrange a meeting with the chaplain.) This priest may be able to give you some advice, or help smooth the way for your mother to be open to your request.


Yes I am still going to the Catholic High School, I’m a junior. That’s a good idea, thanks.


I’m still curious about the age of Confirmation in the US. From the checking I’ve been doing the US seems to be out of synch with the rest of the Catholic world.

Canon law:

Can. 891 The sacrament of confirmation is to be conferred on the faithful at about the age of discretion, unless the Episcopal Conference has decided on a different age, or there is a danger of death or, in the judgement of the minister, a grave reason suggests otherwise.

I can see from Can 891 that the Episcopal Conference can decide on a different age but the norm laid down by the Church is Confirmation at the age of discretion, i.e. the age of reason. This is generally viewed to be around 8 years old although in most countries Confirmation actually takes place at the age of 12 (I’m talking about the Latin Church and not the Eastern Churches).

Does anyone know why the US is so out of synch? Why did the Episcopal Conference in the US decide on around the age of 16?


The USCCB did not decide on “around the age of 16.” It decided “that the Sacrament of Confirmation in the Latin Rite shall be conferred between the age of discretion and about sixteen years of age.” See this link: usccb.org/norms/891.htm

I don’t even think age 16 is the average in the U.S. Many parishes do it earlier. My parish has Confirmation every third year for those in grades 6, 7, and 8. I know of parishes that do it earlier (around 5th grade, age 10 or 11).

For a compelling argument on why the age of Confirmation should be closer to the age of reason, see this article by Thomas K. Sullivan: catholiceducation.org/articles/religion/re0785.html . You can read the whole article (definitely worth reading) or scroll down to the section entitled “The Age of Confirmation.”


When I received confirmation almost 10 years ago in the US, it was done the junior year of high school, age 16 or 17.


Excellent article. Thanks. It clearly explains why Confirmation should be done once the age of reason (7 years old) has been reached.
As for the USCCB statment it states Confirmation should be between the age of reason and 16 years old.
My impression was from other posts that 16 is the norm in the US. Maybe its not and is just the exception.
What I can’t see from the USCCB statement is the reason they give an age up to 16 when the Church actually states it should be at the age of reason and not between the age of reason and 16.


This is wonderful thank you. The article was very good too.


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