Going to college or not

I’ve always hated school… period. I had a legitimate reason to hate it when I was younger (when my dad was alive and mom and I were living under the same roof as him), and that is because my dad would beat me if I didn’t comprehend my subjects. It was super hard for me to learn with my dad breathing down my back and expecting me to just know the things I went to school for… otherwise I got beat. But after he died, I still hated school. The memory of him beating me if I didn’t understand something haunted me for years… all throughout high school. I barely skated by with Ds, and at the end of my senior year, I was accepting that I wasn’t going to graduate because of my failing grade in Economics.

I got over my fear of school and not understanding things by my senior year, but I would still find myself failing classes, goofing off, not paying attention, not doing my homework… not even trying.

After High school, I decided I didn’t want to go to college. Since I was such a horrible student in school, I thought I would never get a scholarship, pretty much ruling out college for me. Then my mom forced me to go when I wasn’t ready and didn’t want to go. So, I went for almost a year, majored in music education. I ended up dropping out because of failing grades and loss of interest. Then she told me I owed her $3000 because she worked so hard for it. I told her before she forced me to go to college that I didn’t want to go, and if she made me go and I failed, then I wouldn’t owe her a dime. I told her, “Mom, you’re going to waste your money on me. Even if I want to go, I’m still going to fail the classes.”

Well, now I have a job paying $8/hour, and I am lucky to work 12 hours a week. I want to go back to school, but I now I see colleges and universities as “corporations” trying to scam people because they can. Rates go up every year and people are forced to take out loans from banks that they will probably not be able to pay off for the rest of their lives. I don’t wish to be stuck in debt, because I HATE being in debt (that’s why I’ll never have a credit card). Now I see school as a scam to take people’s money just so students learn meaningless information that they won’t be able to apply in the so-called “real world” because of the ****** economy.

What’s the point if the dollar is going to die soon anyway. What’s the point if 71% of people graduate from college. That percentage is rising, which means the job market will not be open for people who even have college “degrees” (or, as I like to call them, “pieces of paper that are useless, and you might as well use them as fire inducers”).

Maybe I’m just trying to find excuses not to go. Maybe I should just go and take out loans and spend the rest of my life in debt. I suppose if I want to marry and be a dad someday, I’ll have to put myself in debt.

I know… I know… by now you’re probably thinking, “What a crybaby. He’s just finding any reason he can not to better himself.” I can assure you that I don’t think that way. I want to better myself, I just don’t want to have to be in debt to do that. I also believe that college is a scam to take people’s money that they don’t have and make students suffer.

This is a link to a documentary called “College Conspiracy”. It’s one hour, two minutes long. youtube.com/watch?v=VpZtX32sKVE

Go to vocatonal school for something hands-on that interests you (carpentry, auto mechanics, etc). Perhaps you just need something that has a practical end for yourself.:shrug:

Take the classes you can afford. One or two at a time instead of a full load.

Let’s say you are 25 years old now and it takes you 10 years of taking one class at a time to get your degree. How old will you be with the degree in 10 years? How old will you be without the degree in 10 years?

All that useless information forms the basis for learning and becoming. It gives insight. And you might actually learn a thing or two.

No harm in taking one core course toward a degree to see what it’s about instead of me and a dozen posters telling you.

You referred to your experiences with your father and mother before; I suggest you get some counseling dealing with the issues of your father and mother. Maybe contact Catholic Charities. I know you did not ask, but it’s not the first post in which your thinking seems to be affected by your experiences with both parents.

Decide what you want to do for a living and then do some research into what it takes to get a job in that profession. The prospects for a well-paying job with just a High School diploma are not good. A positive attitude and high energy will also help.


This. Spend some time figuring out what you want to do before going back to school.Your local library will have books on various careers. Check with the unemplyment office also for resources they may have availbale even to those who are employed.

Once you have a better idea about what you want to do as a career, talk to the counselors at your community college. Even if you need a four year degree for your chosen program, it will be much less expensive to get basic courses out of the way at communuity college. You probably also have some remedial work to do since you had so much trouble with high school.

Many state schools now have guranteed transfer programs from community collge. Check to see if you’d be eligible.

Of course, pray about the direction God has for you. Spending time in adoration helps to see God’s plans for your life - both in a career and as a husband and father.

I think you need to decouple your political views about college/university education and the experience you had with being abused by your father, for let’s make no bones about it, what you describe was abuse. I don’t think either aspect is remotely helping the other.

You’ve made a good start by describing an outline of how you think about such things, but I think that given your description of some fairly appalling behaviour by your father you might benefit from at least some professional counselling, if only that you can come to terms with your outstanding anger on the issue. If you can achieve some peace of mind then perhaps other things will either fall into place or not seem so bad as they seem to you right now.

You could make a start by making an appointment to talk to a friendly priest. He may not be a trained therapist, but he will listen to you and it will give you a lot of opportunity to get things off your chest. It’s part of the job of being a priest: just listening to people’s pain can afford them some measure of spiritual healing, and to me you sound like you need some of that…

I hope things work out for you.

Hey, Shea. Firstly, I will again lean towards counselling. Both to help you overcome that mental image of your father (and some other bad experience from school) and another kind to help you pick a career. You may want to google around a bit and fill in some free questionnaires. They aren’t stellar, they may be worthless but if you see a consistent trend in the indicated career, there may be something in it.

As for your lack of interest, it may be due to seeing no rewards in studying but it may be just that you don’t like academic education for other reasons. In the latter case, there’s nothing wrong getting hands-on training or even on-the-job training.

And what about the army? Just a vague, tentative suggestion. (Depending on your personality, then can be great for getting some structure, and hands-on training, and meaningful stuff to do. And they are known to pay for college but won’t force you.)

I think you have to be practical. Decide what you’re interested in and find out whether it requires a college degree. In today’s economy there are few good-paying jobs that don’t require a college degree of some sort, and those that may not, such as jobs in manufacturing, are not presently hiring and are even, in some cases, drying up altogether. Do some Internet research on this before making any decisions. I don’t believe college is for everyone; in fact, there are too many young people in college majoring in subjects they won’t be able to use because there are so many others competing for the same type of job. As a result, they will have to re-train by returning to college or going to graduate school. You might also consider vocational school or a community college which has a targeted and specialized course of study you’re interested in. Interest and motivation in a particular field can go a long way even in the face of fear. You can also attend school part-time while working. As you seem to be aware, you have to be careful about student loans, which can become a debt trap. Instead of taking out loans, look into schools that have work-study programs. If you must take out a loan, avoid private loans and go for federal loans instead. If you just say no to college because of your unfortunate past experience with your father, you won’t be exploring all your options and you may be missing out that way.

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