Going to confession/ issue


Okay so I’m an 18 year old girl and up until about 4 months ago I would say I was quite diligent in my faith. I’ve suffered from some health issues and have received minor opps to clear the issues up so I haven’t made it to Mass in quite a white now. At first it was genuine illness but then I committed mortal sin and I guess I just sort of drifted away.

I really want to go to confession and I went with my dad about 2 months ago but the priest wasn’t there and confession wasn’t on. I don’t mind confession. I get nervous and what not but once it’s done I feel so much better. The thing is - the nature of my (repeated) sin is very embarrassing. Impure with myself and have looked at impure images ect…quite a lot over the past few months. I wouldn’t mind going to confession but at our church the confessional is through a door. Last time I was at confession my dad told me that he could hear what I was saying (and I was speaking very quietly with the priest) then, afterward when I went to do my penance at the back of the church (a rather large one) my dad was in and I could hear his voice. I went outside the church as I felt it disrespectful to listen to his confession, despite the fact that there were people inside waiting.

So I have this dilemma - I could go to my parish and confess/be heard or go somewhere else? The only issue with that is that the nearest parish is an hour bus ride away (which I don’t mind) and I have a meeting in that city on Friday but confession is at 11am and my meeting is at 3pm. I really want to go. (And bus fares are very expensive where I live and I’m a poor student)

I guess I’m just scared of confessing these sins to a priest I don’t know. I’ve heard stories of people being shouted at in the confessional for sexual impurity? I’m just very ashamed of my sin and I really want to go back to church on Sunday so badly and be able to take the Eucharist.

Sorry if I sound a bit whiny!
Thanks in advance for any answers.
God bless you xx


:eek: I have never heard of anyone being shouted at in confession!

Do not fear. Any decent priest will not shout, and has heard it all before. On one level it is right to be embarrassed, regarding this or any other sin you may confess. But turning back to Christ is not something to be embarrassed over. I have only ever had support in confession; well, sometimes a priest may seem a little indifferent (they may have had a long day, or find my sins very boring?), but certainly I have never experienced shouting, admonishing, judgment, etc.

It’s entirely reasonable to want to confess where your sins will not be heard by anyone other than the priest in the confessional. Have you talked to your dad about this? Perhaps he would be willing to find another confession opportunity nearby for you to go to together, but where you won’t hear each others private confessions.

Sounds like you have a good opportunity on Friday to go to confession, probably stay for mass if they have one at midday, get some lunch, and then go to your meeting. It’s not that long a time to kill in between.


About your particular sin, I beg you to not be to ashamed about it as its a rather normal sin to commit.
When I say normal I refer to the fact that we all struggle with impurity from time to time so it wouldn’t be the first time your confessor hear a confession that involves impurity with oneself so please do not let this block your path to confession and eventually communion.
Confess and get it over with is my advice and trust me I know the feeling:(

I’ve been to Scotland, but never gone to confession over there so I don’t have any clue about how the sacrament are being held there, but be shouted at?!
I can’t imagine any sane priest do such thing to anyone…

Any how, best of luck with your confession:)

You are in my prayers my dear sister in Christ.

Yours in Jesus and Mary

  • MarianCatholic


You can write your sins down and hand the paper to the priest.


I think they yell and embarrass people to get them to shape up.

Before Vatican II my mother went to confession one Saturday afternoon. I could hear the priest blast her all over the church. My mother was so embarrassed she wanted to cry. She said she would never go to confession to him again in the future.

When I was ten, a priest told me I was going to Hell.

Again, it was pre-Vatican II. What I confessed was not even my sin. It was done to me without my consent. Sooo…

I took responsibility for what someone else did.

Since I grew up and became an adult they seem a little nicer, but one old priest almost refused to give me absolution. I had to convince him I was sincere. So, be aware they are not all kitty cats - some are roaring tigers.


No you can’t.

You can write them down, for your own sake. But confession must be oral (for those who are capable).


It is extremely unlikely that you will get yelled at for confessing something like masturbation. You may want to be specific about the impure images you’ve been looking at in your Confession.

If I may so, I find your dilemma…unique because a lot of people would be okay with telling their sins to a priest they don’t know but embarrassed to confess certain sins in front of their parish priest.

Now, it is a problem is you both can hear each other’s confessions at that Church. I’d even mention it to the priest at the Church.

And everyone needs to know that if they overhear someone’s Confession, they are bound by the Seal of Confession.


:dts: :nope:

See #6


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