Going to Saturday Mass does not please my family


#1

Hello,

I went to Sunday Vigil Mass so I can spend the night at my Grand Parents house with my cousin and aunt, and when morning arrived they told me to come to Church with them ( Which Is Protestant ). I told them I went yesterday, my Grand Mother replied with " Well we went to your Church, so why can't you come to ours?" The thing is I left this Church 2 years ago to become Catholic and they only came to my Church for my reception into the Church where I told them they did not have to come but chose to anyway. They told me it would not hurt to visit, but I was just there last week for a Easter play. I also told them I am my own religion and my aunt replied with " that does not mean you cannot visit! We visited your Church, you should come!:mad:" I just ignored it and said no thank you.

What should I do if they ask this again? I don't go to Protestant Churches because they are heretical and contradict what the Church teaches.

God Bless,
BVMFatima


#2

Just say no thanks and move on.


#3

[quote="BVMFatima, post:1, topic:321984"]
Hello,

I went to Sunday Vigil Mass so I can spend the night at my Grand Parents house with my cousin and aunt, and when morning arrived they told me to come to Church with them ( Which Is Protestant ). I told them I went yesterday, my Grand Mother replied with " Well we went to your Church, so why can't you come to ours?" The thing is I left this Church 2 years ago to become Catholic and they only came to my Church for my reception into the Church where I told them they did not have to come but chose to anyway. They told me it would not hurt to visit, but I was just there last week for a Easter play. I also told them I am my own religion and my aunt replied with " that does not mean you cannot visit! We visited your Church, you should come!:mad:" I just ignored it and said no thank you.

What should I do if they ask this again? I don't go to Protestant Churches because they are heretical and contradict what the Church teaches.

God Bless,
BVMFatima

[/quote]

There is no sin in attending church with your grandparents. Infact you would be keeping the 5th Commandment of Honoring thy mother and thy father.

Im not sure if you handled this with the respect that is due your grandparents, but if you didnt, take some time to think how it could have been done with the respect you should show them.
God Bless


#4

IMO, you are under no obligation to attend their church. If a wedding, funeral, special occasion, etc. that's one thing . But a regular attendance is another. I would not be held hostage by their guilt trip. Boundaries are important.:)


#5

Just so everyone is clear, BVMFatima is a minor. I believe he is 16.


#6

[quote="Marie5890, post:5, topic:321984"]
Just so everyone is clear, BVMFatima is a minor. I believe he is 16.

[/quote]

Indeed I am


#7

[quote="Marie5890, post:3, topic:321984"]
There is no sin in attending church with your grandparents.

[/quote]

But there's no obligation either.

[quote="Marie5890, post:3, topic:321984"]
Infact you would be keeping the 5th Commandment of Honoring thy mother and thy father.

[/quote]

First, it's the fourth commandment. Furthermore, as a Catholic the OP has a right* not to attend heretical services except perhaps for special occasions like weddings.

*Prudence might suggest that he wave this right, however this is up to the OP.

[quote="Blackshirtproud, post:4, topic:321984"]
IMO, you are under no obligation to attend their church. If a wedding, funeral, special occasion, etc. that's one thing . But a regular attendance is another. I would not be held hostage by their guilt trip. Boundaries are important.:)

[/quote]

:thumbsup:

[quote="Marie5890, post:5, topic:321984"]
Just so everyone is clear, BVMFatima is a minor. I believe he is 16.

[/quote]

And that might mean that it would be prudentially better to go, but as I said he has a right not to and the decision on what would be most prudent is up to him.


#8

[quote="BVMFatima, post:6, topic:321984"]
Indeed I am

[/quote]

I know you are on FIRE with love for the Lord, BVMFatima and that is wonderful!!

It's important to show your parents and grandparents respect, and obedience as long as they are not asking you to sin. And they are not by asking you to join them at their worship service.

The scriptures tell us

Colossians 3:20
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

And Ephesians 6:1
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

The Lord will bless you greatly for showing them due respect. :)


#9

Since you went on Saturday there’s no question about fulfilling your Sunday obligation. Next comes your obligation to your family. There’s something laudable in trying to please your grandparents, especially when you can do it with little effort.


#10

[quote="Marie5890, post:8, topic:321984"]
And they are not by asking you to join them at their worship service.

[/quote]

It should be noted that commands in spiritual matters like this are not morally binding. For instance, if they told him to only recieve communion once a year, such would not be binding.


#11

[quote="SuscipeMeDomine, post:9, topic:321984"]
Since you went on Saturday there's no question about fulfilling your Sunday obligation. Next comes your obligation to your family. There's something laudable in trying to please your grandparents, especially when you can do it with little effort.

[/quote]

I second this and suggest, in addition, BMV Fatima, that you have a chat to your priest about this and ask for his advice/guidance. He will take into account your personality, your age and your particular family situation.


#12

First of all you are VERY blessed to have family who respects your decision to convert and who supported you when you received the sacraments. I know this to be true because I am lucky in the same regard, many who completed RCIA with me were not. No, you have no obligation to go but it is not a sin to do so. As a matter of fact, it has been become a tradition for my mom to come with me to Easter Vigil and for us to attend her non denominational protestant church the next morning for service.

I'll even go so far as to say that not falling into the unfortunate habit of judging and disrespecting other peoples way of walking with Christ makes one a better Christian. Remember how many people Jesus walked with, talked with and helped who did BIGGER 'no no's' than being protestant (all things considered)

With that being said I commend you for being on fire about your Catholic Faith for loving God's true and real Church and for having reverence for his presence in the Eucharist BUT you can be all those things and STILL live as Christ lived, honor your family and support them as they supported you. Your mileage may vary.


#13

I think talking to your priest is a great idea. :)

I know you are very seriously discerning a vocation to the priesthood and religious life. A big part of that is obedience to one's superiors. Even a diocesian priest promises obedience to their bishop and his successors.

This would be a great time to meditate upon what it means to be obedient if you indeed have a vocation. :)

God Bless.


#14

Talk to your priest.


#15

[quote="Marie5890, post:3, topic:321984"]
There is no sin in attending church with your grandparents.

[/quote]

In general, this is true. The OP can occasionally attend non-Catholic worship services for reasons of family unity or on special occasions. She, of course, should refrain from any non-Catholic communion. However, it sounds like her grandparents want this to be a weekly occurence or a frequent occurence. I think she did the correct thing by attending the Easter play (special occasion) but declining the weekly worship invitation.

[quote="Marie5890, post:3, topic:321984"]
Infact you would be keeping the 5th Commandment of Honoring thy mother and thy father.

[/quote]

The fifth commandment is Thou Shall Not Kill. Honor your father and mother is the 4th commandment.

[quote="Marie5890, post:3, topic:321984"]
Im not sure if you handled this with the respect that is due your grandparents, but if you didnt, take some time to think how it could have been done with the respect you should show them.
God Bless

[/quote]

Giving them respect does not mean the OP must frequently attend worship services with them if it makes her uncomfortable or if she is being pressured to renounce Catholicism.


#16

BVMFatima,

As you can see you have gotten various responses to your situation.
Hopefully you can see the wisdom in talking to your priest who knows you and your situation better than any of us do in cyberspace.

He can direct you personally in your journey in ways we simply can't, since we dont really know you or your individual circumstances . :)

God Bless. :)


#17

[quote="Marie5890, post:16, topic:321984"]
BVMFatima,

As you can see you have gotten various responses to your situation.
Hopefully you can see the wisdom in talking to your priest who knows you and your situation better than any of us do in cyberspace.

He can direct you personally in your journey in ways we simply can't, since we dont really know you or your individual circumstances . :)

God Bless. :)

[/quote]

:thumbsup:


#18

Thank you all for your responses. Now they are upset and they mentioned jesus is not a religion but a relationship, and I "don't accept that".


#19

Jesus certainly is a relationship and Pope Emeritus Benedict, Pope Francis and Bl JPII plus other always encourage us to deepen our friendship with the Lord. So they are right in saying that Jesus is a relationship. :)

Catholics do to that in many ways. For example thru living out our sacramental life. Mass , Confession, vocations to marriage or Holy Orders etc.

And of course we deepen our friendship with Him thru prayer, thru the thoughtful reading and meditation of the Holy Scripture, etc.


#20

I’m assuming that you don’t live with your grandparents and so it shouldn’t be a big deal to go to church with them when you are visiting occasionally. However, it sounds like there is more of a control issue with this situation. You should probably speak to your priest. Also, what do your parents say about it? Do they expect you to go with your grandparents or do they ask your grandparents to respect your wishes? I think this might be the deciding vote actually.


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