Since my one year “anniversary” of returning to the Church (after a 9 month hiatus) has arrived, I’ve been reflecting more and more on my journey up until now. One thing which I still see remnants of in myself, something which was quite pronounced very early on, and something which I definitely see many Catholics struggle with is the issue of scrupulosity and how to live a good, balanced Catholic lifestyle. It seems as if many of us are almost borderline with our faith, existing at opposite poles from one moment to the next: either we’re incredibly devout, pious Catholics willing to become martyrs for Christ or else we’re bitter, angry apostates the next.
I’m starting to ask myself, “Why?”
Could it be that we lack good, proper Catholic role models – or, simply a network of faithful believers? As a convert, and given my personal and familial circumcumstances, I don’t know the “lifestyles” of a great many other Catholics. It only seems to be through trial and error, through reading posts here on CAF, and some direction from my pastor over the past year which has guided me closer and closer to that middle ground between scrupulosity and sanity, between being in the world but not of the world, etc.
What do you think? Do you think that as catechism itself has literally fallen down the tubes, we’re also lacking in good Catholic example?