Gossip

So I read this thread on the forums forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=794941

But I’m still not understanding the whole gossip part. Someone brought up about talking about things to your spouse, but what if you’re **not **married?
For example, what if you had a bad day, is one **not **able to share what happened because that would involve talking about someone else?

What if what you’re sharing is not malicious intent against another, but you’re just talking about something that involves another/others?
I mean, I don’t understand how people can go through life and are not able to share what goes on in their lives because others are involved. Does that make sense?

Can someone please explain to me gossip in simple terms?

Thank you

I wonder the same thing.if you can’t vent to your spouse,and comments go no farther than between the two of you,is that in fact gossip :confused:

Here is a good article from Jimmy Akin, one of the apologists on CAF which is pretty thorough:

jimmyakin.com/2006/05/psst_did_you_he.html

Really, what Tom Casey posted is pretty clear. Using your example, you had a bad day, does that mean that gives you the right to vent about that all over the internet whether it is about your spouse or work or kids or what ever? There are appropriate places to discuss issues and problem and preferable problems and issues should be discussed with the people that are involved with the problem or issue not strangers over the internet. There is a difference here between asking for prayer for problems in the home without going into details and blurting out details to others that are not involved and don’t need to know. I think that is the problem with the “Facebook” generation where everything about everybody is put on the internet for the world to see.

Tom Casey is referring to the internet and what people post. Talking to your spouse is one thing, posting talk and venting about others on the internet is another. Talking to your spouse in the privacy of your home between the two of you is one thing but what Tom Casey is talking about here is the internet and for the world to see.

Allow me to clarify. When one posts information on the forum, one runs the risk of doing harm to the good name of a person, group or community, including a parish. All too often, people post things that others on the forum have no need to know.

There is an additional risk of posting something, believing that you’re anonymous and no one will figure out about whom you speak and being “outed”.

Several years ago, someone posted some very nasty comments about a parish priest. The person believed that because he was anonymous and did not give the name of the priest that he was on safe ground. It was my parish priest. I recognized “the story” and I also knew that the person was repeating rumor that was going around, not facts. Later, the rumor was proven false. But the harm had been done.

For this reason, people need to be very careful what they post in public. Others can be hurt unnecessarily. Do not post about issues and situations that should be discussed with the right person and should not be available to people who do not need to know.

For example, if one has an issue with a certain priest, take it up with his superior. If one has an issue with a certain bishop, take it up with the Sacred Congregation for Bishops.

The Holy Father’s homily speaks clearly about the dangers of gossip.

I should probably clarify then…I’m not talking about posting anything online at all. Not sharing with the world.
I’m talking about something along the lines of going over to my mom’s house and telling her what’s going on in my life and work and things that happened or are happening…or just venting about something that happens to include others. That would be considered gossip?

I think perhaps something was missed because I don’t know where you’re coming from. I mean, I understand what you’re saying, but that wasn’t my point.
I’ll ask in a different way, what **is **appropriate and acceptable?
You say that problems need to be discussed between the people that are involved…so:

  1. What if it’s nothing bad and you’d like to share something good with another person?
  2. What if, there is a problem and nothing can be worked out between the people that are involved?
  3. If someone was seeing a counselor or psychiatrist or someone professional in mental health and talked about others, would that then also be considered gossip?

Are people just supposed to keep things to themselves?

Thank you! This is perfect.

You are very welcome. Hope it helps.:slight_smile:

Professionals in mental health are forbidden by law to talk about what is discussed in therapy session with others out side of that therapy. That is a bogus argument. Sharing info like someone got a job or someone had a baby isn’t gossip. Discussing things with one’s spouse in the privacy of the home or a close friend isn’t gossip either. Jimmy Aiken’s article clarifies it, but Tom Casey is pretty clear and is referring to the use of CAF.

This brief sermon from the movie Doubt reveals the problem with gossip quite well.
youtube.com/watch?v=mx8ujg05FY0

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