Grace of God in marriage


My husband and I were discussing the grace of God in marriage. My opinion is that the grace of God can keep a couple together, if their goal is to stay together. They may have problems, but God’s grace is strong enough to overcome obstacles. (if they want to overcome them)

He believes that if a couple is that far gone (i.e. close to divorce), they are out of tune with God and probably are not open to God’s grace. If they were open to God’s grace they would see their bad behavior and either stop or get help.

I also think that one member of the couple can be the one asking for grace and God will give it. What say you? —KCT


Just realized that this should be in Liturgy and Sacraments.


**I think it should be here too:)

As for God’s grace in a marriage, I think it’s the only reason hubby and I are still together! If we had to rely solely on our selfish natures and pettiness we would have split long ago.:o

Marriage is hard work. We can’t do it alone. Ultimately it takes three to make it a success. God is great!



the grace inherent in the sacrament of matrimony is the fruit of marriage, and is present throughout the marriage, and is available for the asking. Every day that the couple remains faithful, loving, kind (see 1 Cor 13) this grace is poured out in abundance. It can be lost only by rejecting it either mutually (contracepting for instance, or by one party acting contrary to the marriage vows. That grace can always be regained by turning back to God and asking for the grace that belongs to marriage.


There is a line from a favorite song of mine that goes, “It’s only that grace outlives our regrets we’re still here.” I believe that is true in my marriage. We are both human and go through times when we’re not the spouse the other needs. In those times it’s grace that keeps us together. Even the resolve to remain in a holy marriage and treat it as vocatioanl is grace from God.

I have a friend who cannot imagine how my wife and I are still together. This person is not a Christian so they do not understand the sacred nature of marriage, vows and being obedient to God. Looking through this person’s eyes, I can see what they mean, but I cannot imagine not being married to my wife.

Sometimes we are in the desert, sometimes we are in a banquet hall. In all these things, we’re given grace to be there.

So, I guess I would say that every marriage exists solely due to the Grace of God and those of us who can see that should be grateful for this gift.



I’ve been taking a look at your posts and I feel as though my marriage is much like yours, in that it is definitely going through the Dark Night of the soul.

You say that you have a non-religious friend who doesn’t know why you’re still married. I lost my “best friend” several years ago because she could not understand why I didn’t divorce my husband (no abuse or anything even remotely like that, just alienation of affection and refusal to support me or treat me as a partner in our marriage). Another good friend of mine doesn’t understand how I could still hold out hope that our marriage might be saved. “How could you ever trust him again?”

He is dead set on getting a divorce, our house has been on the market for nearly 2 years, and at one point he refused to make the mortage payments (or discuss the situation with me) to the extent that I came home to a notice on the door that we were in foreclosure and the house was going to auction. He refuses to be seen with me in public, I just cut off >10 inches of hair and he didn’t even acknowledge I’d done anything.

I work on being kind and friendly in a cold environment, and I have simply offered up my marriage to God. He will do with it as He pleases. It has been the only thing that has gotten me through this, knowing that while I have no idea where this is going, God does, and He desires only the best for me. I have been busy trying to learn to be humble (yeah, right) and obedient, two things that I had no clue to even pursue a few years back. Now at least I know how severely I fall short.

Work on your relationship with Christ. Understand what the Church teaches on marriage and practice your side of it. I can’t promise you that your wife will respond as you desire, but at a minimum, use this time to be the man that you are meant to be.

God Bless,



The theory is that the two parties to a marriage administer the sacrament to one another and receive the sacrament from one another. In most cases when one or both parties fail in their responsibility to honor the terms of the sacrament there is something inherently wrong from the beginning. Usually it is a lack of maturity which reveals itself in abusive behavior, infidelity, manipulative or controlling behavior, etc. These are frequently sufficient to obtain an annulment.



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