My grandma was my hero in so many ways. She was 103-104 yrs old and was more alert and aware than the typical 20 yo. She lived a good life and now she is resting in the arms of our Lord, and for that I am grateful. Please keep her in your prayers.
What I am not grateful for, and frankly cannot understand is how such a wonderful woman could have given birth and raised someone like my mom. Of all of her 12 children…yes, God Bless her 12! My mom is so different from her siblings. Mom didn’t call me to tell me about my grandmom passing, but after this past fall when my aunt died and she didn’t tell me, I don’t know why I expected her to.
My little brother (God Bless his coniving heart) told her she had to call me with funeral arrangements…so she waited until very late, too late to make plans to go, to call. When I talked to her she told me where and when the funeral would be, but she was very cold about it. I asked where to send a mass card to and she wouldn’t give me an address, so I asked for one of my aunts phone numbers and she didn’t want to do that either. Finally she gave me the phone number for one of my aunts but only after she flew into a panic and insisted I tell her why. I repeated that I need an address to send a mass card out and she finally gave it to me.
My sister had a similar experience with mom. Mom told her that flowers were not welcome but that she would send flowers from the family (???) so my sister asked who she was going to put on the card…sounds bad, but with my mom you have to ask, and she said the family, so my sister asked if her and I would be included as part of the family…no answer! Then she asked why mom wasn’t going to the funeral. Mom said she tried but couldn’t get a flight…then said the weather is bad…then said, she just came back from there (in other words she had a ton of excuses). When my sister mentioned sending a mass card and asked for a different aunt’s phone # and address, mom said that if it doesn’t get there by Saturday, she can’t sent it (this was said Thursday night late) because that is when the funeral is.
At this point, I am more sad for my mom than my grandmom. She has so many issues. Does anybody have a relative like this and how do you handle it?
She has pretty much totally cut off communications after many years of this kind of stuff. She found an excuse to be mad at me and decided she wasn’t talking to me. My kids are mad at me because grandma used to spoil them, or at least pay attention to them but this past year she hasn’t even called on their birthdays or sent them cards let alone gifts. I let them call her on her birthday, because I didn’t want to involve the children in our disputes, but she didn’t bother calling, sending cards or any gifts to my kids or my sister’s kids…but then, makes no excuses for all the time and money she spends on my other sisters kids(actually she flaunts it to my kids: “Lauren and I went shopping and I bought her xxx”). All of our kids are teens and none of them are stupid (well, maybe one… ) and they can see what she is doing and they are hurt. I tell them to pray for her, she is not mentally well but they still think this is all my fault because grandma wouldn’t forget them like this…
What more can I do? I don’t want to teach to kids that family means nothing, but she refuses to call or talk to me or one of my sisters and our families. Truthfully, life IS more peaceful this way.