Great...just great


#1

Well…my youngest child is 3 and 1/2.
Shortly after I had a health scare concerning possible MS.
While they are pretty sure I don’t have it, it was suggested I NOT have any more children as it could aggravate whatever mystery condition I do have.

Since I decided to take that advice - to not have any more children, I thought it would be a good time to have the severe varicose veins in my leg repaired.
It was suggested to me I not have any more children because of my vein problems, tendency to form blood clots, and tendency to contract phlebitis.

I recently found out I have a thyroid condition that needs treatment, and pregnancy only makes these types of conditions worse.

I need to have my wisdom teeth removed because cavities are forming where they touch my molars.

Since the birth of last child I have been overwhelmed. Life is chaotic.
The house is a mess. I’m cranky because I cannot handle all the noise and chaos. I forget everything and cannot find anything.
I don’t give enough time and attention to each child - how can I?

So what have I been doing to prevent pregnancy?
For the past 3 and 1/2 years I’ve been practicing NFP.

I found out this morning I’m pregnant.


#2

Regretfully I haven’t any advice to give you but I will definitely keep you in my prayers.

As a side note, I’m actually going to see a neurologist next week to see if I have MS, alot of strange things are going on with me and my family doctor suggested I go.


#3

As a side note, I’m actually going to see a neurologist next week to see if I have MS, alot of strange things are going on with me and my family doctor suggested I go.

The MRI’s are very sensitive and should be able to pick it up if you have it.
Ever since I found out about my thryoid condition, I’m wondering if the MS-like symptoms are linked to that.

It wouldn’t hurt for you to ask for a blood test for other conditions such as thyroid, low iron (ferritin levels) - or even for Lyme’s disease.


#4

[quote=Lorarose]Well…my youngest child is 3 and 1/2.
Shortly after I had a health scare concerning possible MS.
While they are pretty sure I don’t have it, it was suggested I NOT have any more children as it could aggravate whatever mystery condition I do have.

Since I decided to take that advice - to not have any more children, I thought it would be a good time to have the severe varicose veins in my leg repaired.
It was suggested to me I not have any more children because of my vein problems, tendency to form blood clots, and tendency to contract phlebitis.

I recently found out I have a thyroid condition that needs treatment, and pregnancy only makes these types of conditions worse.

I need to have my wisdom teeth removed because cavities are forming where they touch my molars.

Since the birth of last child I have been overwhelmed. Life is chaotic.
The house is a mess. I’m cranky because I cannot handle all the noise and chaos. I forget everything and cannot find anything.
I don’t give enough time and attention to each child - how can I?

So what have I been doing to prevent pregnancy?
For the past 3 and 1/2 years I’ve been practicing NFP.

I found out this morning I’m pregnant.
[/quote]

Hmmmm.

Do you work?

How many kids in total?

Husband around? (as in, home much, or off round the country all the time, as opposed to having left you)

House too small?

Spiritual director?

Husbands faith?

In Christ.


#5

Congratulations?

I understand how overwhelming your news must best be - with your health conditions (I will pray for you) and already feeling bogged down by life… but it is great news. A tiny new life is growing inside you. A sweet baby already known and loved by God who is knitting him/her so wonderfully inside your womb. Your baby… just waiting to come out and be loved by you. How wonderful is that?


#6

You don’t need me to tell you a child is a great blessing from God.

It can also be a nightmare and fraught with difficulties and motherhood should be renamed as ‘sacrifice’, still it is blessing and you know that. You also know it will be worth it in the end, meantime you are worrying how on earth you will cope especially with all of your health concerns.

Medicine is marvellous these days and a true blessing to humanity in many respects. I am sure the medics will monitor you and your baby very closely throughout your pregnancy.

There’s only one bit of advice I’m going to give you…Ask for help. There is no shame in crying out for help when we need it from family and friends. There is so much around in the media these days that mother’s should singlehandedly rule the world of motherdom, well I say rubbish. It takes a whole community to raise a child the mother being the corner stone and key player along with the father. You are a good mother and we must remember to be a good mother we need a break to recharge our batteries a little and we need help from other’s and also God’s help …‘no man is an island’.

People don’t offer help unless they are asked by a mother, they do not like to intrude on a mother’s territory, so call up your family and friends and ask them to come over and help you out, even if it is to watch the kids whilst you tidy up or them to help you tidy the place up. Heck if we were friends I’d come over this evening and give you a hand, so how much more are your friends and family going to do for you?

Ask for help, we all need it from time to time and by asking you give another person the wonderful opportunity of carrying out an act of mercy. Pray a great deal and God’s grace will see you through all of this along with those who need to be helping you out a bit.

In my prayers for your and the babies good health and my congratulations on your good news because without these problems you would see it as good news and these problems can be monitored, assisted and remedied…with a little help. :slight_smile:


#7

My prayers are with you and your family situation. I have learned from experience that a surprise pregnancy can turn into a blessing if you will let it. There is a reason this child is being sent by God.

As to your being overwhelmed, I too understand how you feel. We all know intelectually that being organized leads to peace at home. However, implementing that, even when we know how, can be a problem. We all want to “do it all” but we are only human.

Please check out www.flylady.com This website will help and guide you to organize your life so that you don’t feel so overwhelmed. You can implement changes a little at a time (you can do anything for 15 minutes). You will be amazed at how quickly your life will change and how much time you can find in the day.

This won’t necessarly help with your health problems, but maybe you will be able to handle your situation with a little more peace.

Again, my prayers are with your family.


#8

[quote=Lorarose]The MRI’s are very sensitive and should be able to pick it up if you have it.
Ever since I found out about my thryoid condition, I’m wondering if the MS-like symptoms are linked to that.

It wouldn’t hurt for you to ask for a blood test for other conditions such as thyroid, low iron (ferritin levels) - or even for Lyme’s disease.
[/quote]

Hi, thanks for the reply! Yes, I got my blood checked, everything was fine (including my thyroid, my iron level and no Lyme disease, living here in Arkansas where ticks are abundant they automatically check for it…lol). My blood was also checked for diabetes which came up negative.

Yes, my doctor mentioned a possible MRI. They found a sclerosis on my one of my sisters myelyin, but chopped it up to it being caused from a virus. This was about 6 years ago and she’s had no more symptoms. The difference between her and I is that my symptoms have been consistent for the last 2 years. Anyway, we’ll see. I’ll keep you posted.


#9

Do you work?

How many kids in total?

Husband around? (as in, home much, or off round the country all the time, as opposed to having left you)

House too small?

Spiritual director?

Husbands faith?

In Christ.

  1. I haven’t worked since the last baby. I was looking forward to finding something part time when the youngest started school. Being a housewife does not come naturally to me - I get depressed when I spend too much time at home. It drives me crazy.

  2. This will be my 8th pregnancy. 1 miscarriage, and we are now raising 5 kids at home as we lost a daughter 7 yrs. ago.

  3. Husband is around, but with a more demanding job this past year. In 3 yrs. the job will become extremely demanding, but we also have to consider college expenses.

  4. The house will fit everybody.

  5. No spiritual director. Our priests are overburdened with running several parishes. I also don’t know how I’d manage to add that to my schedule as I’m already using up babysitting time with the grandmas for doctor’s appointments.

  6. Husband converted to the Church a few years ago. He is better with this than I am…but of course it’s easier for him to be better about it.


#10

I understand how overwhelming your news must best be - with your health conditions (I will pray for you) and already feeling bogged down by life… but it is great news. A tiny new life is growing inside you. A sweet baby already known and loved by God who is knitting him/her so wonderfully inside your womb. Your baby… just waiting to come out and be loved by you. How wonderful is that?

To be honest it isn’t feeling all that wonderful.
I know babies are wonderful - but I’m not sure if it’s such a great thing that I’m only pregnant because NFP didn’t work.
I could go on and on like this for 10 more years, and certainly every baby is wonderful - but I’m having a hard time believing I am supposed to play Russian Roulette like this with my physical and mental health.


#11

Medicine is marvellous these days and a true blessing to humanity in many respects. I am sure the medics will monitor you and your baby very closely throughout your pregnancy.

Medicine sure is great. I just had a $9,000 surgery done on my right leg over the summer to repair the damage from the previous pregnancies.
The condition will very likely return only 1 yr. after this surgery.
I don’t think my insurance company will cover it again after this baby.

There’s only one bit of advice I’m going to give you…Ask for help.

I am already getting help from family, but the grandparents are only getting older and cannot keep up.
I’m never going to hear the end of this from my mother.

You are a good mother and we must remember to be a good mother we need a break to recharge our batteries a little and we need help from other’s and also God’s help …‘no man is an island’.

My batteries are already dead. I never get a chance to recharge.
Even when I get out every now and then - it doesn’t take long to get drained when I’m back.

so how much more are your friends and family going to do for you?

My family and friends have been wisely advising me I should not have more children - and I have agreed.
I have a feeling their reaction is going to be “What a stupid a–!”

In my prayers for your and the babies good health and my congratulations on your good news because without these problems you would see it as good news and these problems can be monitored, assisted and remedied…with a little help.

Thank you for your kind words and support.
I don’t like to be cranky in my responses…but I am cranky.


#12

Please check out www.flylady.com This website will help and guide you to organize your life so that you don’t feel so overwhelmed.

I already checked out flylady. They sent massive amounts of junk mail to my e-box, so I unsubscribed.

I also found it unappealing for the suggestion we become obsessed with maintaining a perfectly sparkling kitchen sink - that just isn’t going to work in my house.
I know what has to be done - but I can’t do it because I am constantly being interrupted by children. And when I get back to finishing what I was doing, I find the children have already undone it.

Thank you for you support. Like I said in the last post…I’m cranky today.


#13

Lorarose,

Let me tell you where I was 4 years ago this month. My husband had been laid off from his job, and we were living in a community that had lost thousands of jobs. There were few job prospects for him, and I was a stay at home mom with three small children. My youngest was 1 ½ and I had suffered a miscarriage a couple of months before my husband’s layoff. I was relieved in a way that I wasn’t dealing with a pregnancy while struggling with the stress of the lay off.

When my husband went on a job hunting trip, I learned that I was pregnant again. God blessed me in a wonderful way—not just with this child, but with a sense of peace throughout the entire pregnancy. Things were not easy during that time. My husband found a job in another town two weeks before the baby was born, and I was alone with the children (except for weekends) for three months before we were able to move into our new place.

Now I have a precious 3 ½ year old boy, who brings us so much joy. My husband is happy in his job, and the kids have settled in nicely in their schools.

I know that your problems are very different from my own at the time, but they aren’t insurmountable. You can get through this. I pray that you will have the grace to see beyond your worries and frustrations and begin to feel joy for the new life inside of you.

If you just recently became pregnant, your baby will be due around Christmas. I was also a Christmas baby–my mother’s ninth. I once asked my sister how my parents felt about having another baby. I imagined that they must have been overwhelmed by it all. I was so happy to learn that they greeted each new baby with excitement.


#14

If you just recently became pregnant, your baby will be due around Christmas. I was also a Christmas baby–my mother’s ninth. I once asked my sister how my parents felt about having another baby. I imagined that they must have been overwhelmed by it all. I was so happy to learn that they greeted each new baby with excitement.

Thank you for your response.
The due date will be around Dec.3rd.

I would like to say I’m excited and happy…but I’m not.
I’m also disillusioned about NFP and I’m thinking after this baby I should have a tubal ligation.

I know this will cause many here to gasp in dismay…but I’m having a hard time believing God wants me to spend the rest of my childbearing years living like this.


#15

Not too long ago I was feeling a lot like you are now. I have a 7 year old and almost 3 year old triplets. I decided one day I can’t go through life being depressed about my life, so I wrote down all the things that were bothering me and with my husbands help, came up with a plan to work those things out, or atleast make them better. A lot of praying and a lot of organization have improved my mental state greatly. I have even started to welcome the thought of more children. I will keep you in my prayers…I know the thought of another child can be very scary when life isn’t as peaceful as you would want it to be. Take Care :slight_smile:


#16

Boy oh boy, you’ve really got a lot to deal with. I feel for you and don’t blame you one bit for feeling the way you do.

The only thing I can think of is, are any of your older children able to help out? like washing dishes, help with housework, and so on?

God blees you and I’ll be praying for you.


#17

I have never been in your situation, so I cannot offer any personal advice, but please know I am praying for you and your family.

lean on God, pour out all your anger and frustrations to Him, pray that even though you do not feel as though you want this baby, trust that for some reason, He does, and ask for hte strength and health to deal with it.

with your home, i don’t know about your financial situation, but is it possible to hire a nanny to help you for a few months? I know that ideally we want to be able to raise our children ourselves, but for a few hours a day to give you rest and help keep the house up? this could help greatly with this stress. if you can find a reliable young person, especially over the summer when kids return home from college, they would also cost much less than a professional. if not, then your older children. even a six year old can help fold laundry.

its getting nice out (well it is near me anyway, not sure where you are), but get your kids outside. just bring them to the park and let them run around and plop down on the bench and let yourself rest.

tell your husband everything htat you are feeling. you guys are in this together, see what solutions he can come up with to help you. maybe when he is off from work he can take the kids and let you have a day to yourself.

find a pro - life doctor and discuss with him your health options, if you will need to be on bed rest the last few weeks plan ahead for someone to help at your house, if you will need a specialized doctor on hand at delivery.

please know and remember that all of us here at caf will pray and support you in every way we can. i can completely understand why you are overwhelmed right now, i think everyone can, lean on Christ, He will not let you fall


#18

I have no advice at all.
But I want you to know I will be praying for you everyday. God bless you and all your family.


#19

Not too long ago I was feeling a lot like you are now. I have a 7 year old and almost 3 year old triplets. I decided one day I can’t go through life being depressed about my life, so I wrote down all the things that were bothering me and with my husbands help, came up with a plan to work those things out, or atleast make them better. A lot of praying and a lot of organization have improved my mental state greatly. I have even started to welcome the thought of more children. I will keep you in my prayers…I know the thought of another child can be very scary when life isn’t as peaceful as you would want it to be. Take Care

Wow…triplets! The fact you are considering more is very impressive.
If I had to write down - today - what was bothering me I’m afraid I might write “too many kids” :eek:
But of course - I am in a nasty mood today.
Maybe I’ll wait a bit before I make that list.


#20

The only thing I can think of is, are any of your older children able to help out? like washing dishes, help with housework, and so on?

It depends on their schedule. They are very active in sports, and the oldest is carrying a challenging academic load this year.
I would say 2-3 days of the week they manage to help out, and the rest is spent running to and fro with different school/sport events.

God blees you and I’ll be praying for you.

Thank you. I used to have a good prayer life that has slipped away from me over the past year.
Even the rosary became a source of aggravation for me because I could never concentrate on it or finish it without having to break up a fight or clean up something that just got tipped over.
My prayer life for the past couple years has been “Dear Lord have mercy” about 20 times a day.


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