Grieving for the loss of a mother


#1

Hello-

I just lost my mother last week. It hurts so much! I came across this forum and found some comfort in reading some of the posts. Thank you all for sharing.


#2

[quote="herson, post:1, topic:184953"]
Hello-

I just lost my mother last week. It hurts so much! I came across this forum and found some comfort in reading some of the posts. Thank you all for sharing.

[/quote]

*I am so very sorry for your loss. May her soul rest in peace. You and your dear mother are in my prayers. God bless you both. *


#3

I’m sorry for your loss, herson. Have you ever read A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis? He wrote the book after the death of his wife, it outlines his grieving process. Maybe you would find it helpful.

God bless.


#4

I feel for you in your loss of your mother.
There aren't any words I can think of that are adequate.
I'd hug you if I could.
Please take care of yourself,
Love, Trishie


#5

I too am sorry for your loss. Try to stay close to Jesus Christ so that he can help you through this difficult time. It can't be easy losing someone you love and I don't want to think of the day I will lose my mother, but death is just another journey we take in our Christian life to Jesus. We go home to the Father. I know you much miss your mother so much and your heart aches to see and hold her and talk to her, but the good news is that she is with the Lord and you can talk to her anytime you want. She does hear you. She watches over you. I believe that. You should pray for her soul and ask her to pray for you. I lost my Godfather last year and what was difficult for me is not knowing if he went to Heaven, or even Purgatory. I don't know if he repented before he died and went to confession. No one knows. I know he was really into New Age and was in adultery,but I don't know what his last minutes were like in his life. When he was dead, I had two dreams about him that gave me peace. One was that he came to me and asked me to pray for him. So that to me is hopeful for people in hell don't need prayers. I know my dream could be nothing, but I don't think so. He has also come to his daughter in her dreams too. We are the only two so far.

Pray for her and keep her close in your thoughts and in your heart. Other then that I don't now what else to say for I know that pain much be great. I will keep you in my prayers. Allow yourself to grieve and go through the process. Remember, even Jesus cried when his friend Lazarus died. The Blessed Mother, Our Mother cried when she held Jesus dead bodied when He was taken from the cross. You can ask her to help you too. She understands completely.

I hope I helped and didn't make things worse for that was not my intentions. I really am just trying to help. May the Lord give you peace of mind and soul during this time that is so difficult and painful for you. He loves you and your Heavely Father holds you in the Palm of His Hand!:)


#6

Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions. I woke this morning and just laid in bed saying " Hail Marys" for about half a hour. I then went to the food store. I still feel sad…felt like crying at the store.


#7

Sweetheart, you did not lose your mother. She is still there. The Bible says only three things matter, Faith, Hope, and Love. And at the end of time only one thing will remain. Love. Her love for you didn’t die with her body. It is there. She went ahead of you like good mothers do. She is preparing a place for your next life like she prepared your basinette when you were born, and your bedroom when you were little, and your dorm room and your home. Remember when you went to school for the first time and she was there to make sure you weren’t scared. And she let go of your hand and you went in. And you were separated for her for a time. But she was still there, waiting for you when you came home from school. And she was waiting for you when you came home from dates, and from jobs. She is still waiting for you. She has let go of your hand for a little bit. But now she is blazing a new trail for you. And when your time to die comes, you won’t be scared. Because she will be there for you then. And like that first day of school, when it’s over, she will be there to take your hand and take you home. That’s what mothers do. You can still talk to her. She can hear you. And she still loves you with the perfect love that a mother’s heart in heaven can give you. Pray for her. Pray to her. She’s listening and waiting for you still.


#8

I’m so sorry for your loss…my prayers are with you. Grieving is a process, it will take time to heal from this…if you ever need someone to talk to, please pm me. :hug1:


#9

I will offer our Family Rosary just for you tonight and hope it will help you find peace. It will take time, it will take time. Keep praying your Hail Marys, I am sure your Heavenly Mother is Holding you in her arms just as your own mother is and I love what Liberanosamalo said to you, that is so comforting. Give yourself time to heal. :hug1:


#10

I am so sorry for your loss of your mother. No words will give you comfort but praying will give you peace. Keep on saying a prayer every time you feel like crying.

Only time will heal your heart. It does take time. Only you know how long it will be and it might be forever whenever you think of your Mother. Your Mom will be waiting for you when your time comes. That should make you happy to know that you will see your Mom again.

If you ever cry in public just say you have allergies that is what I did when my son died.

I used to cry while driving m car, walking on the streets, etc. The tears would just come. The same thing will happen to you.

Make sure you eat comfort foods and take care of your health.

When friends call you and they want to do small talk… just say you are sorry but you can’t concentrate at the moment and need to rest and hang up the phone.

Don’t let people zap your energy with their stories of when a loved one died in their lives unless you want to hear the story.

WE ALL GREIVE DIFFERENTLY. We have our very own personal way of greiving.
You don’t have to read any books on how to greive the loss of a loved one.

Look for the signs… your Mother is still with you in spirit. You may have dreams about her from now on. That will be normal to have those dreams.

Your idea of praying is the best way for you to greive your loss of your mother.
With Empathy and sympathy, LaLucia


#11

*herson, if you would like, I started a social group here for anyone who is grieving and healing from loss of a loved one…it’s called Good Grief…there are a lot of stories from posters there that might bring you comfort and clarity during this tough time. There are several levels that one goes through with grief, and they are discussed there, also, in case you’re wondering as time goes on…‘is this normal, should I feel this or that way?’
(You have to join to read the stories, because of the sensitive nature of the posts.)

…Again, you’re in my prayers. :gopray:*


#12

dear herson, please accept my deep sorrow for the loss of your mother and my prayers are sincerely with you. My mom died less than a yr ago. So I know what you are going thru. So know you are not alone. It will take time. I might still hear a song and get teary. The holidays were like a rollercoaster. At Christmas Eve Mass I became teary. But I know with all my heart my mother is in a better place. I talk with her all the time. Everyone here has given such beautiful words that I probably can not add much more. But your mom will forever be with you and know with all your heart you will see her again.


#13

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother in July 2008, so I know what you are going through. :console: I know this sounds cheap, but it does get easier. :( Take time to grieve, and do whatever you need to do. You will be in my prayers.


#14

Thank you all for the replies. I am still talking to my mother as some of you have said. I talked to her about the weather coming back from church this morning. I just talked to her while doing the dishes…and yes, cried alittle, too.


#15

Prayers for you again today,
May God comfort you each day.


#16

herson I am so sorry for your loss:hug1::crying::signofcross:

we can commiserate, I lost my mom on Dec 12th. She was 52. My two younger sisters found her dead in her bed that morning. I was the first one there to see her besides them and the image of her that way is forever burnt in my mind and is with me 24/7 I know your pain. Please feel free to PM me if you’d like to talk.

Loosing a mother has got to be one of the loneliest feelings a person can have. We have to have faith that our mom’s are still with us and still love us, and they are. I too say the Hail Mary over and over, all day long. It’ helps me get through.


#17

Words cannot express the heartbreak I feel for you.
Praying…


#18

Shannyk-

I am so sorry for your loss also. Yes, losing a mother is rough. I have been doing the Rosary the last couple of days for mom’s soul. Hope you’re feeling better.


#19

Herson,

I am so sorry for you loss. Be patient with yourself as you grieve. We are ment to grieve and cry. The scriptures tells us that "Jesus wept". That, if I am recalling it correctly, was when Lazarus died. He was a friend of Our Lord.

He understands your grief too.

The rosary is a favorite devotion of mine, too. When I say it tomorrow I will keep both you and your mother in my mediation.

Peace of Christ be with you.


#20

Mums are pretty special, aren’t they. I lost mine way back in 1997. She had been very ill for around five years and was almost glad to die even though she wasn’t very old, early sixties. Her children were as well, because we hated to see her so ill. Strangely enough, all these years later and I can hardly remember her being sick and dependent, . The grieving was horrible. You only have one mother. After all, your mum is always there for you from the time you are born. Always there with a word of encouragement, advice, a shoulder to lean on and sometimes there with just a band aid! Gee we miss them when they are gone. They are just irreplaceable. The hole in your heart is just so big for so long and you just wonder how you can stand not having your mum there to talk to for the first time ever. My mum had seven kids and four of them were big tough farm boys, but oh, how we relied on her! We’d have died for her and we cried for her afterwards for a long time… After they are gone you spend a lot of time thinking how mum would love to see that, or to hear this and then one day a strange thing happens - you tell her anyway. From then on you realise your mum is always with you. In spirit, in the way you think and the way you act and the way you live. You know the one true guiding principle I’ve always had? Would my mum approve.


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