Grinding and Homecoming

I know this girl and I am taking her to the dance next Saturday. I know that Grinding is a sin. Now when I talked to a Priest, he was implying not to do it and it preludes to something else like sex. Now my intention is not to have sex at all. Her Dad is an ex football player and I have to much respect for her family. I do not know her religious affiliation however she did tell me once that oh come on Stephen. So here’s my thought’s it is a sin to grind. Yet however I feel that is not mortal because there is no malicious intent and plus my family is friends with mine and I know if I did anything bad. I would have 2 Momma’s and 2 Dad’s not happy. So I just want some advice on this. I want to have fun and honestly feel her out like if she does it then I will. If she doesn’t then I won’t. By the way She lives an hour away. So it isn’t like if she doesn’t like me She can just go down the street to her home.
Thanks for any advice you give me.

Please don’t grind, twerk, or imitate sex acts on the dance floor. It’s tacky, nasty, and makes you and the young lady look like a couple of dogs in heat. I would hope that dance chaperones would break any of these “moves” up, but this day and age, who knows? Your date for the dance is not only a child of God, she is your sister in Christ. Keep that in mind if you feel the need to gyrate around the dance floor like it’s mating season.

Attend the dance and don’t do any moves you wouldn’t do on the dance floor at a wedding reception being attended by your parent and grandparents, her parents and grandparents, and both of your parish priests. Show some class, even if the others don’t.

You said you didn’t know what faith your girlfriend was. However, from looking at your post, I can see you’re Catholic. That’s really all we need to know.

I realize it is difficult, especially for young people, and more so in this day and age when everybody is doing it. However, just because others are doing this does not make it right.

Especially if you have premeditated on it like this, it’s even less excusable.
It is in fact wrong and a sin, both for you and her.

We are actually to avoid temptation as much as possible. If you don’t think you can resist this temptation, it would actually be better not to even go at all.

So, you think it’s okay to sin if it’s a venial sin, not mortal?

Grinding is basically simulating sex with your clothes on. The good rule of thumb is, if your mom and grandma were in the room and you wouldn’t do it in front of them don’t do it. You can still dance and have fun without all the bumping and grinding. I think deep down you know it isn’t right; however, it seems exciting to you. You can have someone rubbing up against you and in your mind it isn’t sexual its just dancing but sorry it’s sexual.

Further, isn’t it a mortal sin?

First of all, for a sin to be mortal or venial doesn’t matter one little bit how you “feel” about it or whether you have malicious intentions or not. Your priest advised you not to do something (I rather doubt he simply “implied” it). Take his advice, he’s trying to keep you from the near occasion of sin. You’re trying to get as close to the line as possible without going over and that’s a very dangerous game. What’s more, you’re intending to tempt her to go along with your games and that’s purely immoral. If she goes along with it you’ve caused her to sin, and that’s just not right. Keep your thoughts pure and respectful. Believe it or not it is possible to have fun without venturing into impurity.

I think most of the answers you are looking for have been given in the above posts, but I have something for you to think about.

Reasons you won’t ‘grind/sin’ with her:
Fear of her parents/your parents.
You respect her family too much.

Please give some reconsideration to this as you get older, and I would do well to remember it as well. We should always be more concerned about what the Lord thinks. While you may fear the punishment of your parents, it’s a small one compared to facing our Father’s consequences. You should also have respect for yourself, and for the girl, as well. You say your ‘intention’ is not to have sex with her. That should be a defined “I’m not having sex.”, in any case. I think it might be easier to get into this ‘habit’ of thinking of sin as offending and hurting our Savior when we are younger than when we are old like I am. :slight_smile:

These might not be the answers you were hoping for, and be reminded that the responses were in the manner of charity. :slight_smile:

Do not do this. There is no reason to do this. You can dance and have fun without grinding. YES< even fast dances! it’s vulgar, it’s stimulating in a sinful way, and really? it’s just NASTY

Fellow teen here. I go to a Christian school, and people still do this. It turns the whole event into something it shouldn’t be, and makes a lot of the kids uncomfortable. I’d never even consider going to a dance with someone who prioritized “fun” over his date’s purity.

It’s good that you respect her father, but what about everyone else? If you respect yourself, you will behave chastely. If you respect her, you will behave chastely. If you respect your classmates, you will behave chastely.

Behaving chastely, in this situation, would definitely include not grinding on people. :wink:

It’s very possible to have fun without dirty dancing. Respect yourself and your date, enjoy her company, and set a good example for everyone else.

Your priest is correct. Grinding is an occasion for sin and you should avoid doing it. If you really like and respect this young lady, then you must not display her in such a vulgar, tasteless manner in public. Keep in mind that everyone has cell phones these days, and everyone takes pictures and video; the last thing you want is some ugly picture of you and your date forever on YouTube. This is a choice you must make for yourself; do not leave it to someone else and just follow along; you will have to account for yourself someday, and the excuse “she made me do it”, didn’t work the last time either.

There are so many beautiful things to do in life as a young man and woman getting to know each other that do not involve any kind of embarrassing or sinful act. Why would you have to do something like that? Is it necessary in any way??
As a person standing before God Who Sees Everything and wants you to be a beautiful person full of love, joy, brightness… choose a way that makes you such a person. Be a light in the world, pure and sweet :slight_smile: If she really loves you, she may well love you all the more for this. And her family will respect you. And God will see your true inner love.

Do you even like this girl? You write as if she is an object and you have no respect for her. I would suggest you run a few times around a field and do 3 dozen push ups.

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