Growing number of single Catholics using Catholic internet match-making sites, article explains


#1

For this article, which looks at the ins and outs of these Catholic sites, and identifies some leading ones, see
www.catholic-sf.org/news_select.php?newsid=23&id=57545


#2

The article reads like one big advertisement for catholicsingles.com.
If I had been Catholic before I started looking for a husband, I probably would have joined, but instead I went to eHarmony and found a wonderful Catholic man in less than a week!


#3

I tried various catholic singles sites made some good friends but that's it. Pretty much met the same types of guys I always do....won't go into that one. Save your money and get out and meet people the old fashioned way unless you like to serial date. Just my humble opinion. :shrug:


#4

Does CAF count? I met my boyfriend on here, and it was a lot more efficient than the dating sites. :smiley:

For singles in areas with low Catholic populations coughSeattlecough, those sites are nice. Not everyone can afford to quit their jobs and move to a more Catholic area.


#5

**
It’s shameful that singles can’t meet at church like we’re supposed to.** And, yes, I have tried to start a “singles” group at church, only to be treated like a carpetbagger and troublemaker. For-profit web sites exploiting the failure of Catholic parishes to reach out to singles…is sad. :frowning:


#6

I met my husband on avemariasingles. I liked it better than Catholicmatch because Catholicmatch gives you such short term membership that it just made me restless about being single. I felt like I had to search to get my money’s worth.

Overall I just wasn’t meeting anyone in my area and had no idea how to meet anyone without feeling desperate again with feelings of hopelessness over “there are just no good men out there, are there?”

Avemariasingles was a way to sort of put myself out there and go on with just living my life as a single person. I wasn’t even terribly impressed by my husband’s profile. I just was like “Ok, no red flags. I’ll send a hello email.” Haha, we corresponded for six months before even meeting. Had our first date been my only experience of him, I would have completely thrown him out. I mean, I told my family the story of our first date and we were all laughing and then I pull “So yea we’ve decided to continue seeing each other.” and they were like “What?!” I was just hooked on him from all the emails and phone calls. I knew there was more to him than met the eye.


#7

I’ve been on catholic match for nearly 6 months now. I met several blessed, beautiful, holy women… Still single though. I’m not sure if I will renew my subscription or not. The pickins’ are slim in my area. Maybe I will try another site.

One thing I have noticed though is that there is a stigma attached to online dating, still. My friends think I’m nuts but the only women I have met from being active in my new parish are the old bitties at my prayer group and bible study.


#8

[quote="CountrySinger, post:4, topic:214074"]
Does CAF count? I met my boyfriend on here, and it was a lot more efficient than the dating sites. :D

[/quote]

:D I totally agree - I've been on all the Catholic dating sites for years, but the only great guys I've ever met were here on the CAF! :thumbsup:


#9

At last, men get a chance to be appreciated for who they really are and not for what they may, or may not, own and not for just being hunky sex symbols.

Liberated at last!! :smiley:


#10

John - hillarious.

Kib - nice to see you out and about.

Havana- you need to be more positive or you will never date anyone.

I met my husband online - not a Catholic site but he professed to be Catholic - we spoke for a month before I met him in person. I don’t know if I will go back online or not - I think it all depends on how I feel after the anullment and what kind of vibes I am getting from my peer group and at that point if I even have time or the inclination.


#11

Im surprised how many of you used dating sites, but I guess it is a good way to bring yourself together. The only thing with that is, i would assume half the people on those sites are lying or are desperate. I realize not everybody is, but Ive heard a few pretty bad stories about dating websites. But for all of you guys who found a partner on there, congrats.


#12

Really? :confused: How old are your friends? Are they still stuck in the 90’s? :stuck_out_tongue:
For my generation, online dating is the default choice for meeting people. We live online. It’s easier and so much more efficient to find someone that way than look for one in-person.


#13

They’re all in their early 20’s. Most of them are still in undergrad/ graduate school though. It’s a heck of a lot easier to meet people when you live on a campus with 16,000 of your peers. I honestly haven’t figured out how to meet people since I moved for my new job, there are NO active young adults in my parish.


#14

Mu husband and I met online, but not on a Catholic dating site.


#15

My experience with the Catholic sites are that they are somewhat of a scam. I have found the men no different from those on other secular sites as to the following of Church teaching and gentlemanly manners. Encouragement to keep using pictures (to strangers? i.e. beyond the few to complete a profile) because men are ‘visual’ also got a little creepy. Exhortations to ‘stick with it’ or have ‘faith it will work’ as one recent site advertized, or ‘success’ stories also really turned me off. (So everyone else is a failure?) I felt I was wasting my money, so I stick now to men in my area to meet. It is safer and less expensive. Have I met one? Well, no, but then I would exhort all you men out there seeking a wife in your area to look with spiritual eyes at the gazillion single ladies at your local parish, who would very much like to be asked for a coffee!

(yes, I know you’re ‘visual,’ but we Catholics also believe in grace! The ‘visual’ part of you is Original Sin!!! Grace, men, grace!)

Go on! I dare you!

This Sunday ask a nice single lady for coffee!

I triple-dog-dare-you!


#16

I met my husband on Catholic Match, but I think it was just part of God's plan at that point. I never would have paid for a subscription for myself; it was a gift from, oddly enough, an ex-boyfriend who felt really bad about breaking things off with me (realized he needed to consider the priesthood, but wanted me to be happy). I was in the middle of the conversion process, and suddenly I was alone, in a protestant family, going to a Catholic church where I barely knew anyone, and where there were very few people my age. I come from a small town, where everyone high tails it outta there after high school and moves on to bigger and better things! Except me, apparently... I really didn't have any way of meeting people, and I knew I wanted to be with someone who was a practicing Catholic, so I figured it couldn't hurt to look.

My experience was, yes, there are a LOT of creepies and nominal, cafeteria Catholics on the site. I also had mixed feelings over the option to check yes or no as to whether or not you "believed" in certain church teachings. I mean, at least I could see where the guy supposedly stood, but I felt like I truly Catholic site would assume we're faithful to the Church.... I ended up writing the first letter to my (future) hubby, and I'll admit the reasons were a little vain... he had a picture of him in a kilt with his bagpipes, which was basically my dream guy..... :o But it turned out he was the most honest, caring, kind hearted guy I'd ever met. He'd been on there for a couple years, hoping he'd find someone someday, after a lot of failure dating in his local parishes. So, while there are a lot of weirdos, there are also some genuine folks just looking for a good Catholic spouse. :)


#17

That’s exactly how I feel and its a big reason why the singles ministry I’m involved in, is at the church of Jesus Christ latter day saints.


#18

I give two big thumbs :thumbsup: :thumbsup: up for Catholic Match, since that’s where I met my husband. I was on and off of there for a few years (on, met someone, dated, he went to seminary, took a break, went back on, met husband), but my husband signed up for a free membership, saw my profile, and told himself he would pay for a month’s subscription, and if we didn’t work out, he was done with on-line dating. Less than a month after we met we knew we would get married, and 26 months after meeting for the first time, we were married :smiley:

Pretty much all of my friends who aren’t married are using on-line dating, and my closest friend is currently dating someone she met on e-harmony (a good Catholic boy). As someone else said, we pretty much live on the internet, especially with cell phones with internet access, so it seems natural that one would turn to the internet to create romantic connections.

I’m all for any medium that allows people to meet their spouse and fulfill their vocation to marriage (if that is what they are call to, of course!).


#19

I had no success on AMS but did well on CM. I didnt get a wife on CM but that was because I ended all the contacts since it wasnt the right time for me.

It is a waste of time and money. Honestly, it is a tribute to how people today including myself have problems interacting. AMS gets people to pay $200 for their service and CM gets $25 per month. Thats a lot of money. Too much really.

I think it would be easier if we knew who singles were. Now you go to church and there is no way to know if single girls are in your age range or if the girl is taken. Most people dont like to be rejected because it hurts your confidence and self esteem. To me, it often isnt easy to tell the difference between late high school girls and early college girls. Even late twenties and early twenties can be difficult to tell from looks.

Church is a bad place to meet people, at least during mass. Many leave after communion and most run right for their cars after mass. My parish has very few young adults in their early to mid twenties. Most people my age either dont practice or cant afford to live in my area. Few young people can afford million dollar homes or quarter million dollar townhouses much less $1500-2000 in rent even with a roommate(s).

I dont know what the church can do. I know that singles can do more to identify themselves as single. Maybe a colored bracelet would work. Who knows? I know I havent a clue how to identify singles from not single from a crowd at church.

Many young adult groups dont have anyone my age. In my area, most dont even live in my parish boundaries but attend my parish young aduly group. They are almost all older than 25 years old.

Universities normally have good groups but for some reason I saw little dating and little mingling between singles. It was weird because in theory this should be a good place to find someone. But college seldom is a good place to find someone because many arent serious about marriage and dating.


#20

I think this is just a sign of how churches in general need to reach out to young singles more often. I’ve been told that the post-high school to pre-30’s demographic in churches is often the “forgotten” group because of this disconnect. My first college roommate met her husband at church, and now they’ve been married for years. Isn’t that how it should be?

Granted, I don’t think it’s necessary to market singles groups at church as “meet markets” (pardon the pun), as I’ve jokingly heard of youth groups referred to this way. But singles groups in churches should be a “safe” place where people who are in similar places in life can socialize and if an attraction happens, both people are of the same faith and similar backgrounds.

I met my husband in college. It was by chance that he happened to be Catholic.

I know that many people who are younger and single in my ethnic group use shaadi.com, but lately people from more backgrounds use it too. It’s either that or arranged marriages:rolleyes:


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