Guide to being a good husband?


Well, does anyone know of any contemporary Catholic (orthodox, not liberal) guides to being a good husband?

I want to know what I need to do, how being a husband is different than being a boyfriend, I need advice and help. I need to prepare for my upcoming vocation!

A book would be nice, or even an online guide. I have been reading some stuff on EWTN’s library, but much of it is pretty dated (1950s).

Thanks alot! :thumbsup:


You might want to check St. Joseph’s Covenant Keepers (a Catholic counterpart to Protestant Promise Keepers)

It’s a newer organization founded by Steve Wood, an orthodox Catholic.


please check out

this is an awesome site and will help you understand that people have different needs… so although you might be doing things for her, she might not be as important and might not be meeting her emotional needs…

hope that helps… !!!

u r the best for wanting to learn before entering this most important part of your life… remember that this is the one covenant that you make with God so do not take it lightly…



Oh, and don’t forget to ask your wife. :wink:


Sometimes it’s less expensive to be a husband. Now instead of diamonds and such to impress, you can get away with a good coffee pot or nice pots and pans :rolleyes: . You see, practical (husband stuff) things generally are far less expensive than impressive (boyfriend stuff) things. And a meal at the fast food place is generally less expensive than a trip to “Olive Garden”. SO being a husband has it’s financial benefits as well as “other” benefits :wink:



Hi here are a few of the main points married or not

1; Be ready to pray and make time let remember things she likes going to. DON’T try and be her husband be her friend.
A friend never wants his own way all is “our” so there is asking if she minds, being attentive to her needs.
Being ready to apologise, being ready to walk on the out side so that the rain will not go onto her leags.

2; our means we have the right to say yes or to say no."
3; remembering to go to places she likes buying things she likes, seeing people she likes, going with her or letting her go aloane. sharing dishers laundry, bed making together, tea making together rubbing her back or lightly scratching it.

These are a few points

God bless


I suggest two books. One is specifically Catholic, the other is not Catholic but is not contrary to the faith in any way.

For Better… Forever by Greg Popcak
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman


Geee sorry about the spelling.

God bless


Take a look at Fulton Sheen’s “Three To Get Married”

I found it to be an interesting look at how your love for each other and God is present in your role as a spouse.


Any book by Christopher West! He is awsome! There are books and talks on cd. I really like the book, “Theology of the Body for Beginners.” I pray someday my husband will read his material.


It’s nice to hear that you’re really seriously thinking about this. Being a husband isn’t a joke. All of the advise in here is good advice. Theology of the Body really works wonders.

I just became a husband myself. I have been married for 2 months now. Let me sum it up… “This is my BODY which will be GIVEN UP for you.” This is the mark of a good husband. Where can you find out more? Read Theology of the Body.

And I can honestly say that it’s quite hard but I’m up for it. That’s why I got married. Being single was already boring. :smiley:

God speed! :thumbsup:


Buy a copy of “Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands” and a copy of “Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage” … and since you’re newlyweds, read them together.


I thoroughly recommend that you listen to these talks Father Altier’s Marriage Preparation Classes which you will find here

I’ve been married 34 years and if we had heard this back then our married life would have been a lot smoother.


Take it from Paul - Love your wife as Christ loved the Church. 1 Cor 13 is also a good guide :slight_smile:


You’ll see a lot of advice out there that suggests spoiling your wife.

However, your job is to get your wife into heaven. Generally speaking the road to heaven is much easier when your needs are met. So you have an obligation to meet your wife’s needs (but you can’t do that unless you know them - so communicate) hence the advice on spoiling her.

If your wife is a good, devout, Catholic woman that’s probably all the advice you’ll ever need.

Contrary to contemporary feminist thought, however, women do have flaws and they aren’t naturals at practicing Christianity (no more than men).

Don’t be afraid to raise the bar, expect some sacrifice. Give of yourself totally, but to expect nothing in return is not even Christlike. Christ expects something in return from us. He expects our love, devotion, and obedience. Remember she’s not going to get to heaven if she’s in love with her mortal sins.

Keep your eyes on heaven. With that in mind you’ll know when to spoil her and when to lead her.


I think BJ is right, and may I also offer a bit of my own experience. Do not be afraid to “tell it like it is”. For instance, I was heavily involved in pro-life work, a worthy cause, but my family life was taking a turn for the worse. I didn’t see it, but my husband did and he told me I had to stop. (I"m not the kind that could just “cut back”). This is different from ruling with a heavy hand, but it is your responsibility to steer the family to Heaven.


the Good News about Sex and Marriage by Christopher West, avail. from most Catholic bookstores.


Remember that your wife is always right, this will no doubt make you the best husband in the world, no books needed :smiley: jk!

congrats on your upcoming vocation my friend :slight_smile:


Fresh out of marriage prep, the 2 things that stuck out most to us have been mentioned by the previous posters: Love your spouse as Christ loved the church (a reflection on the Passion will quickly remind you of that amazing love!), and that your job is to get each other into heaven. These two little things have already been very helpful to me.

We were also recommended Good News about Sex and Marriage and the Five Love Languages but I haven’t read either yet.

Congratulations! You’re fiancee is lucky to have such a committed hubby-to-be :thumbsup:

#20 is an excellent Christian based website. :slight_smile:

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