The Catholic Church does expect you to be chaste within marriage. By being chaste, that means not to use your spouse as an object for your sexual gratification. Nothing you have mentioned would even come close to crossing that line.
Your wife could be fully clothed and you could still potentially treat her as an object for your sexual gratification. For example, if you wanted to dress her up in a sexy outfit and then take her out in public with the purpose of showing off your sexy, fit wife to all your co-workers to envoke jealousy, then that would probably be considered making your spouse an object for sexual gratification.
Bathing, taking care of each other while sick, or even giving a “love pat” doesn’t even meet anything close to this definition. In fact I would think that would all fall within the normal bounds of marriage fun and/or taking care of each other.
I guess with lingerie it would depend on whether your wife wanted to wear it or not. Some women it makes them feel sexy and therefore more able to perform for their husbands. Or some women like it because they think it hides flaws on their naked bodies. But some women do find it demeaning I guess so in those types of situations it might be best not to wear it.