what to do about guilt after confessions?
it’s not that I feel like God doen’st forgive me, but I feel if others knew how sinful I really was, they would hate me.
I was academically dishonst a long time ago, back when I thought I had to be the best at everything and really wanted to prove something to certain profs, since there was a tendency for them to think I couldn’t do anything because of my disability. I would always panick with questions on tests I didn’t know and look up answers sometimes. I didn’t do this for every test, or every class. just a couple, and generally worked hard but would get nervous for exams and forget things. I ended up getting good grades in these classes and feel like I don’t deserve them. also the profs like me and think I’m a good student but if they knew what I did, they would definitely change their opinions.
I’m wondering if I should reveal it. my confessor never told me to since it was a long time ago and the grades or situation can’t be changed and I didn’t really explain it in this much detail. I just feel like the profs like me and give me praise credit more than I actually deserve. It’s hard to still hear them say how good of a student I am, considering what i did. I mean, they saw other things too, I always went to class and did my homework and asked them for help if I needed it and they knew that I knew most of the material. but still, I made stupid decisions. on the other hand, I din’t want to ruin relationships with them but maybe they’re not worth keeping if they don’t know the truth about me.
I wish I could go back and undo it but I can’t.