Guilt stricken

My wife and I will be married for three years come this December. We have always wanted children but decided we would wait several years so we could experience married life together for some time before a child.

We began trying in conceiving a child last winter. After having difficulty we sought a doctor for help. We learned we were having difficultly due to a medical condition. We were faced with two options, AI, or in-vitro. I’ve ever believed in in-vitro and knew the Church was against it. I have only recently learned the Church is against artificial insemination. I was questionable about the Church’s stance so before anything, we decided to find out the answer ourselves. Well, for whatever reason, I didn’t find anything that said ‘no’, and moreover, my wife told me something she read/saw said it was ok. This was our fault, a real defined answer could have been easily found back then, as I recently have learned. I can only assume our thoughts were clouded with fog at the time.

Needless to say, we proceeded with AI. We are expecting our first child early next year.

Now, after learning of the Church’s official stance on AI, we feel ashamed and are full of guilt. But at the same time, we have a child on the way which has been brought to us from God. All we can do now is ask God for His forgiveness of our sins and help to nurture us as parents.

Please pray for us.


Greetings in the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ!

I am sincerely thankful for the gift our Lord has bestowed upon you, and I am sure you are thankful as well. God gives us doctors, nurses, and other medical professionals to aid us in our journeys as people in this world. I congratulate you in your expectancy and pray the Lord’s blessings on your child! There is no reason to feel guilty! Our Lord works all things for the good of those who love Him! :),

You say that neither of you realised you were acting wrongly.
God knows all that was in your hearts then and now.

We have a responsibility to develop an informed conscience, but remember also that the Church teaches that for something to be a personal sin we must knowingly and willingly consent to something that we know and believe to be a sin. Something may objectively be a sin, but it was not *at the time *a personal sin if you both had researched sufficiently and not discovered that it was sinful.
Clearly your research was not deep enough, but it you didn’t realize at the time that it wasn’t deep enough, therefore please don’t remain in guilt but trust in God who knows when we sin and when we do not, even if to the world or to ourselves we seem blameworthy.

You both could find it helpful to go to Confession and honestly tell the priest everything,
Please don’t be afraid to, just honestly explain what you thought, and what you have since learned. If there was any doubt at all in either of your hearts, for your peace of mind and soul please reveal it to the priest. If not, then your priest needs to understand that. Certainly, God does.

You have a child to raise and you both need to be able to go forward in faith that God will bless you both and your child.

I ask God to heal everything that needs healing, to help you and your wife to a good and holy marriage, and to being the best loving and nurturing parents you can be for the little one your wife is carrying.

God grant you both healing and peace.

Please note that this poster is not a Catholic, and the information given is not the teaching of the Catholic Church.


While Betsy is correct the poster is not catholic - they are correct in that you should be thankful …

You cannot “Sin” accidentally … Sin requires that you fully know and understand that what you are about to do is in fact a sinful act and you consciously decide to act anyway …

So yes, you failed to properly investigate whether this procedure was morally acceptable and proceded [perhaps hastely] … resulting in the conception of a child …

All children are gifts from God. Enjoy your baby. Congratualtions. :slight_smile:

You should speak with your parish priest about this matter … seek forgiveness for acting in an impulsive manner and take the lessons learned from this into your heart.

In the future - should you want children, perhaps you should look into adopting the "Snow Flake’ Children … these are embyo that have been created for implantaion [in-vito] … the Church has stated that these children should not be destroyed or exploited for medical research and should be adopted … this would be a licit manner to parent children … I do not know all of the issues and procedures but with a child on the way and spacing … you will have plenty of time to investigate this for a possible future sibling …

Again… Congratulations on the new baby …

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