I’ve joined the Catholic Answers forum because I have a question that has been worrying me for sometime. I’m posting here because I think it fails the rules of the Family Forum and because I am interested in the theological and moral thinking behind any replies.
I have been a Catholic for a year now and the grace of participation in the life of the Church and confession have helped me to leave my past sins aside though they resurface occasionally.
In the past I have compulsively viewed pornography and it has effected my sexuality and relationships. My past includes other and worse sexual sins. Deo gracias, I am leaving all this behind, doing penance, and finding my sexuality is being healed.
I have recently met a woman who I like and seems to like me. It is early days. But this is my question: Should I tell her about my past sins? And if so should I tell her before it gets serious or before marriage is discussed?
Or should I quietly leave the relationship before it gets going and allow her to find someone who is pure and worthy of her dignity?
I sometimes think that whilst my sexuality might be redeemed that it can only now be through celibacy and penitence, and so think I am called to a monastic vocation.
There are many factors involved. Honesty. Sexual integrity. Hiding. Freedom. Effect on the validity of the marriage. The effect on her and the relationship even if she does forgive me my past.
I would greatly appreciate your insights.