habitual sin

i put this question in this sub-forum because it’s related to confession i guess

i am dealing with a habitual sin that has been a big part of my life
i am not sure what to do about it
i think it has to do with me wanting to feel needed and have emotional comfort?

anyway, i am trying to dive into my new parish
for years i was inconsistent with the church and very unclear on a lot of what it means to be christian (even though i was raised catholic)

so God has brought me to this point where I know things are wrong now that I (somehow) didn’t think were wrong before, I accept all the church’s teachings now though I didn’t in the past, I am starting to go to mass every Sunday and get involved in the parish and go to confession a lot

that all has been great but I still have mortal sin in my life
i was clean for a month and it was a great month! i felt close to God! but here i am again.

i fornicate. with someone who i don’t know if i could marry them. i don’t know what to do - break it off with him? never see him again? it seems like it might be what i have to do but will i be able to do it? i am attached to the person. what if there is a chance that we do get married?

how should i approach this situation so that I can put God first in my life but maybe still be able to love this person?

How did things go for that month that you were able to avoid the sin? I would explain to this person your being called back to the Church and your belief/ Church teaching on the matter. He should be supportive and if not, then there’s your answer. If he can’t support you on that, is he really someone to continue a relationship with? Perhaps invite him to Mass with you. You never know, the Holy Spirit could be working thru you to also draw him closer to God and bring him to the Church! :slight_smile:

Continue to pray for the strength and guidance of the Holy Spirit in your life. We all deal with sins, even habitual mortal sins. Thanks be to God for His forgiveness!

The discernment of marriage is key here.
If you both feel that you are a good match and can divote the rest of your lives to read other.
If you’re both open to new life
If there’s a reasonable chance that you can make it work together

These are vital questions to the discernment of marriage
of course you both need to be free to marry.

If these questions produce a N then yes you should break it off. .

If these questions point to a possible yes then it may be worth exploring the ability of your relationship to come to chastity and marriage.

Prayer that you will have strength to live as God wishes and intends.

thanks for your reply :slight_smile:

for the month i did well, i spent less time with him, maybe once a week… i started to fall again because i did not avoid the occasion of sin.

i have been praying for guidance… i know that God wants me to stop fornicating… i have a feeling i should try to see him less at least. a talk is probably in order… he knows more or less what i’m trying to do but i need to get more specific.

we went to mass together twice though not at my parish… he was open and willing to go. he enjoys the architecture of the church and observing the rituals but he says it’s not for him…

Praying for you to find the strdngh to overcome your vices.

Praying for your strength. Even if you lose battles, never stop giving up on God’s grace. When we have finally overcome sin, we can do sooo much in His kingdom. Like an addict, we are always prone to our sins. Rely on His grace each day.


There WAS a time in your life that you were NOT sexually
active! Think about that, there WILL be a time, after you grow old
that you will not be sexually active. THIS IS JUST A PHASE.
What is important AT THE MOMENT will all be lost in eternity’s view!

God LOVES you and sent His Son in the likeness of sinful flesh FOR
A SIN OFFERING(Romans 8), God does not WISH for you to wallow in
sin HE ACTED out of love for you(Romans 5:8).

I happened to have written an article on this very topic yesterday, drawing from the wisdom of St. Josemaria Escriva. If you are interested you can read the whole thing there, it might be helpful:


I think you’d particularly benefit from the following bit of wisdom from St Josemaria:

“You’ve done well, even though you have fallen so low. You’ve done well, because you humbled yourself, because you straightened yourself out, because you filled yourself with hope - hope that brought you back again to his Love. Don’t look so amazed: you’ve done well! You rose up from the ground. “Surge” - “arise” - cried anew the mighty voice - “et ambula” - “and walk!” Now - to work.”

I had great help from the Blessed Mother. Also remember that when you are trying to avoid a behavior, substitute a good behavior in its place. For example say a spontaneous prayer, read a spiritual book, pray a psalm, get exercise. May you find the help you need.

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