I just had my IUD removed today. Before I went in - I was struggling, but was holding strong to my belief that this was the right thing to do.
I went into the exam room - the doctor came in. She asked me why I was having it removed, I told her that I wanted to use a more natural form of birth control. She looked at me like I had five heads.
She questioned me - asking me how badly I didn’t want to get pregnant, and that I should really be using other methods, etc. She took out the IUD - and as she left, she told me that I needed anything, like a prescription for the pill, to just call her.
I wanted to cry.
I went back to the waiting room and left with my husband. He told me how scared he was - how he absolutely did not want to have a child right now and that if we did get pregnant that he would likely resent me for it.
The thing is - I DON’T WANT TO HAVE A CHILD RIGHT NOW EITHER!
My husband is not really on board with the whole NFP thing - he supports the fact that this is my body and it is my choice whether or not to use contraceptives. I think that he wants to use condoms with spermicide. Fine - that is his deal. But deep down inside, I am actually happy. I want him to use them cause then we won’t get pregnant. This just makes me feel worse.
I am just feeling so lost right now.
I feel like I want to take the doctor up on her offer and get the pill.
I am feeling angry at God for making me do this.