Had my IUD removed - HELP!


#1

I just had my IUD removed today. Before I went in - I was struggling, but was holding strong to my belief that this was the right thing to do.

I went into the exam room - the doctor came in. She asked me why I was having it removed, I told her that I wanted to use a more natural form of birth control. She looked at me like I had five heads.

She questioned me - asking me how badly I didn’t want to get pregnant, and that I should really be using other methods, etc. She took out the IUD - and as she left, she told me that I needed anything, like a prescription for the pill, to just call her.

I wanted to cry. :frowning:

I went back to the waiting room and left with my husband. He told me how scared he was - how he absolutely did not want to have a child right now and that if we did get pregnant that he would likely resent me for it.

The thing is - I DON’T WANT TO HAVE A CHILD RIGHT NOW EITHER!

My husband is not really on board with the whole NFP thing - he supports the fact that this is my body and it is my choice whether or not to use contraceptives. I think that he wants to use condoms with spermicide. Fine - that is his deal. But deep down inside, I am actually happy. I want him to use them cause then we won’t get pregnant. This just makes me feel worse. :frowning:

I am just feeling so lost right now.

I feel like I want to take the doctor up on her offer and get the pill.

I am feeling angry at God for making me do this.


#2

Oops - I meant to post this in Family Life.

My apologies…you can feel free to respond if you wish…


#3

If it helps, you are NOT reponsible for your husband’s sin. But I would still talk to your priest for specifics. I will remember you in my prayers. I would try to be as good a witness as you possibly could, and possibly get some NFP information, just to drop “hints”. I have also heard that the periods of abstainance involved have stengthend marriages, because it rejoins the act with its purpose, instead of just being pleasurable activity.


#4

**
I went back to the waiting room and left with my husband. He told me how scared he was - how he absolutely did not want to have a child right now and that if we did get pregnant that he would likely resent me for it.**

**Why would he resent YOU for it? Like HE didn’t have anything to do with it? Does he think you would have done it all by yourself?

Even the Blessed Virgin Mary had help!

Your husband sounds like he needs a major attitude adjustment–preferably with a 2 x 4 or cast iron frying pan.**


#5

Good advice:thumbsup: …Either talk with Father in Confession or make an appt. to speak with him. This way in following his advice you can be assured that you are indeed doing what is morally right for a Catholic. Sometimes in getting advice on a discussion board, the advice varies so much that it can be hard to discern out what to follow. And even if one can, it can be that perfect Peace is not obtained…whereas in seeking the advice of a priest or director one can be assured that one is indeed doing what is morally right. Some diocese I think do have an Office for Families or similar title and this can be an excellent source of reliable moral advice also.
Another source of realiable advice is to seek out the priest moral theologian at one’s seminary(all have them insofar as I know) - again to my knowledge these tutors in moral theology are willing to speak with individuals not connected to the seminary by appt.

Another alternative is to simply ring your diocesan offices and tell them you would like to speak with a moral theologian and how can you contact one. They should be able to give you contact details.

Finally, once you have expert and reliable advice on the right moral path to follow, do not let doubts assail you and continue to seek advice here and there. Most often you will only become more and more confused loosing more Peace. Once you have sound moral advice, take it and follow it and do not be disturbed on the point again. Trust in The Lord. Amen.
Barb:)


#6

I have an appt already set with my priest/confessor for next Monday. To confess this sin and also discuss all of these feelings. It is just hard to wait 6 days when I am hurting now :frowning:

Thank you for your prayers


#7

I understand. I hate waiting until staurdays to confess when there is sin heavy on my heart…


#8

Okay, okay, now deep, deep breath! :yawn: (that’s the closest I could fine…)

I know how you feel! Although my husband never TOLD me that he would resent me, he put off the vibe.

#2 was only 3 months old and I got pregnant with #3. The look in his eyes when I told him was not fun to see…It hurt.

Note: this was all before I was Catholic… I crumbled and got a tubal. No one knows. It is so, so hard when you are on a different spiritual field. Now, we abstain during fertile times for reparation. This has been good for us to do and he understands now.

You have to pray. And pray hard. Ask Our Blessed Mother to wrap her arms around him and soften his heart to this wonderful part of marriage. Ask other brothers and sisters in Christ to pray for both. Whatever you do, don’t resent him right now for how he is acting, he simply doesn’t understand the peace you feel knowing that you are not keeping your unborn from implanting.

Educate him on the IUD and share with him, a little at a time the reasons, church teachings etc and be patient.

I will pray for you.

Kimberely Hahn’s book Life Giving Love is the best…if you want my copy, I’ll mail it to you. Just pm me with your address.

God bless you.

Dana


#9

I just wanted to give you a little encouragement–you did the right thing. You may have good reason to avoid pregnancy right now, so being scared is a valid feeling, esp. if you have no experience with NFP. Get in an NFP class as soon as you can, there are some online, I believe. I will pray for you and your husband.


#10

Here an online course…$95
nwfs.org/classes.htm

Here is also a free online manual you can print out (84 pages) here
nfpandmore.org/nfphowto.shtml

Good luck!


#11

:rotfl: :rotfl:


#12

Sorry to be a killjoy, but even condoms with spermicide are not 100% effective. Do a GOOGLE search on contraceptive failure rates and see what I mean. Greatly reduced, yes. Down to 0%, not quite. Even IUDs:(


#13

Oh please don’t give up, Mrs. MeganMc.

Please give it a chance.

You need some encouragement right now.
:grouphug:
Here is a beautiful website which offers a free CD or you can listen online to Contraception: Why Not.
by Dr. Janet Smith.

onemoresoul.com/catalog/1-free-copy-of-contraception-why-not-p531.html
You can even find pro-life physicians through this website.

God bless you as you put your life and your family into His hands.


#14

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