This is a confusing question so I’ll try to keep the details simple below…
Actually it is not the priest interpreting anything but text book tradition in EO. If she was not baptized you can pray for her privately, give charity in her name and all the other works of faith for the dead but she cannot be mentioned at the litury since she wasn’t EO yet. These are the rules and they are always strictly applied. The same is valid even if EO die under circumstances - suicide, self-willing incineration of the body. I asked the priests an explanation for this rule and they said it is better for the reposed for this rule to be respected and gave no further details. Priests said we can always pray for the dead, light candles for them, but they cannot be mentioned if they are not baptized in EO church or if they committed suicide or if they chose to be incinerated after death.
So sorry for your loss.
I recommend speaking to the priest.
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