I’m so very sorry to hear about this. I don’t know your heart or your wife, therefore I cannot judge what is really motivating her to do this. But, I think I can help you with some resources.
It’s not supposed to make someone miserable all the time. But “it” is really about joyfully giving oneself to ones spouse in every area of life. My thoughts are that within marriage someone will get what they give and that should bring happiness and joy. It’s not always easy but it is possible and fulfilling when both spouses understand what love is and how to love.
Don’t despair! I think and (I hope) that these resources will help you. Please do not hesitate to delve into each suggestion I post here.
A book. Good News about Sex and Marriage by Christopher West
A book. Men, Women and the Mystery of Love: Practical Insights from John Paul II’s Love and Responsibility by Edward Sri
A book. Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West In case you’re thinking “I’ve been married for 25 years and I have a child. I think that I already know about sex and marriage and all that.” These books may SAVE your marriage. It’s not that the books will take away what you’ve already learned. It will add to your wisdom. I’m actually in the process of reading this book and all I can say is that I THOUGHT I heard it all… But as I read it I understand why I’ve been feeling hopeless (as a single). The world has fed me despair and doubt about love. This book feeds me hope and revives me. You may think you know a lot about your wife, but this book will show you what the deepest desires of her heart are as a woman. And yours as a man. And will answer your question *“What is marriage really all about?” *
A book. When Divorce Is Not an Option: How to Heal Your Marriage and Nurture Lasting Love by Dr. Gregory Popcak.
4a. A movie. Please watch it. It will relate to what you are going through right now and also give you tools to reclaim your marriage. It’s also on Netflix if you are a subscriber. Fireproof
4b. A website. How to apply “Fireproof” to your own marriage. This website has several other website and PDF links which will be very helpful.
A website. Happy Wives Club and the article about Happy Husbands.
A website. Fierce Marriage – Article “The 15 Second Kiss” experiment.
A ministry. Retrouvaille. If you’re wife is seriously thinking about ending your marriage, I have heard that Retrouvaille can help.
Now, we all can understand that your wife is in the wrong for leaving you. But I want you to look at her faults and reflect them onto yourself. For example, is she unromantic? Disinterested in intimacy or the marital friendship? Emotionally distant? OK. But are you? Please do not misunderstand me. I’m NOT blaming you for her leaving. I’m saying that usually the Golden Rule works here. And Luke 6:32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.”
I really hope and pray that marriage will be a healing experience for you both.