[quote="crazydyl, post:1, topic:195237"]
My main purpose is for God though so I just don't know what to do. She wants to see places around the world, but not in an expensive outrageous way. I have told her that God is the only way that she can be happy and that there are people suffering that need that money. I have said that it won't bring her happiness.
Here's a very important scripture dealing with this.
2 Corinthians 9:7, "Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver."
Your girlfriend does not desire to give in all the ways you want to give, so she should not be required to do so. God only wants people to give what they want to give out of love. As Paul says in 1 Cor. 13:3, "If I give all my possessions to feed the poor . . . but do not have love, it profits me nothing." If she gives to the poor because of you pushing her, but not because she actually wants to, it will profit her nothing.
In the Sacrament of Marriage, looking after your relationship with your spouse is your first priority, not taking care of the needs of the poor. If traveling makes your girlfriend happy, that's fine! There's nothing wrong with traveling, and love is looking to make the beloved happy more than looking to make the self happy. Deeper intimacy with God is, of course, as you know, the ultimate source of happiness. However, no one can force anyone else into greater unity with this source of happiness. People develop deeper love of God over time; no one can be forced along in the journey faster than they will go themselves out of free and loving desire.
There's also nothing wrong with godly people taking some enjoyment in God's creation. There is nothing wrong with your friend's desire to travel.
It's necessary for anyone interested in a serious relationship with someone else to focus on how to conform ourselves to their desires rather than conform them to our desires. That doesn't mean you need to abandon your relationship with God, but you should show your love of God by loving your girlfriend and putting her interests ahead of yours. Perhaps if you sacrifice some of what you want for her, she will in time decide that she wants to sacrifice some of what she wants for you. Relationships should be mutually self-abandoning, for self-abandonment is at the core of genuine love. But we must not focus on how to get girlfriends to abandon themselves -- that's their responsibility before God. Our job is to focus on how to abandon ourselves for them.
St. Paul the Apostle wrote about marriage that each marriage should look like the relationship between Christ and His Church. Paul wrote that Christ gave up His life for His Church, just as a husband should abandon his life for his wife. Here's the reference, Ephesians 5:25.
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
We need to sacrifice ourselves, and that is at the heart of genuine love. If you aren't willing to sacrifice yourself without thought of return, sacrificing yourself only for the good of the beloved, putting what she wants above what you want as Christ did for us, you need to look for someone else because your love is not strong enough to form a foundation for the relationship.
A man is the ruler in his household but his love must be sacrificial, like that of Christ for the Church. St. Paul gave wives a responsibility to submit to their husbands but he gave an equally vital responsibility to men to sacrifice themselves for their wives, for that is true love. In your particular situation, sacrificing your interest by supporting your girlfriend in her travel interests would be the loving choice. To insist that she give to the poor instead will only make her miserable, and contradicts what Paul taught about the importance of us only giving what we desire in our hearts to give.
We men must focus on how to improve our love through sacrifice. That is central to men's responsibility before God in marriage. That is how we love both God and our wives, by sacrificing our interest for theirs without thought of return, only for the good of the beloved. It takes strength, discipline and courage, but it also produces genuine love and communion between people.
No one can force or push someone else to love God more, though.
Song of Songs 2:7 says, "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."
Love for God and the poor can only come from the heart. It cannot be forced from the outside. And the greatest love, which men especially are called by God to exhibit in relationships, is sacrificial love. This involves putting the desires or interests of the spouse above one's own. Building, maintaining and protecting a loving and unified relationship with a spouse is more important a responsibility for a married man than is taking care of the poor. Our responsibility must first be to God, then to our spouse, and then to others. This love must always be about giving, not taking, and it must be free, not forced.
God bless you and your girlfriend.
Your brother in Christ,