[quote="VeritasLuxMea, post:1, topic:274761"]
This is awhile back, so I'm going to paraphrase because I don't remember everyone's exact words.
A few months after we married, we were sitting around a dinner table with the Priest who presided at our wedding, a couple other family members and one of the Pre Cana couples that instructed us.
So the Priest starts joking with me about how, "You're going to learn that it's easier to just go along with whatever your wife says."
He continues, "See, there's an easy way and a hard way, [my name here], the hard way is to try and fight it for hours and lose anyway, the easy way is just to do as she says."
The wife in the Pre Cana couple says, "[Her husband's name] has learned the value of the phrase, 'yes, dear.'
My wife turns to me and says in a joking tone, "That's right and you better get used to it!"
-end of story for the most part.
I hadn't thought about it too much at the time, but there were a number of such conversations (with all sorts of people) leading up to the wedding and even afterwards that followed a similar model - some worse than others.
I think this stuff is supposed to be a joke, but frankly, I do not find it at all funny. I find it demeaning and wrong. And yet I have to sit there and pretend like it's funny or risk offending people. If I speak up and say "Excuse me, that's inappropriate," then I'm treated like a guy who can't take a joke. Excuse me... just because I do not like inappropriate jokes doesn't mean I have a bad sense of humor.
I would not sit there and listen to misogynistic or racist jokes either... but for these ones it has been very difficult to deal with. Like when the former Maid of Honor tried to tell me that my wedding was "all about the bride" and it was "her day," and I tried to explain that it is God's day to sanction our love for each other.
I know others will accuse me of being oversensitive, but I think that's a cop-out. Anyway.. your thoughts?
I think you need to talk it over with your wife and address it as a couple in the future. You're right, coming from just you it's going to look like someone who just can't take a joke. And I have to say, a woman tritely saying "you'd better be used to being crushed under my thumb" is more than a bit disrespectful.
So talk it over with her. When the conversation turns to you as a couple, if your wife looks lovingly at you and then meaningfully says "My husband and I are pursuing a Christian marriage rather than a secular one where the wife feels entitled to gorge on self-granted power"... well, let's just say that THAT will cause some awkward silence on those who trivialize the masculinity of husbands. Pre-Cana should teach anyone that shrewish wives... as well as overbearing husbands... are a wrecking ball to a marriage (as well as the fact that publicly dishonoring and humiliating one's spouse is not only morally wrong, but destructive to a relationship as well)... Like I said though, it needs to come from your wife, because she's being expected to bash you so when she turns the hammer around and defends you with it it will serve its purpose.