I was baptized long after my 2 abortions in my past. I feel forgiven by god and im at peace with my terrible sins. I live in the present not the past. I have been a member of the church for over a year now and have had nothing but problems. This post talks of 2 of the issues.
I have been literally harassed by rachaels vineyard ppl to attend their retreat and found no help by 2 priests to end it. I had to change parishes. In fact they said i should still go and did not believe me that im at peace …im forgiven…and they completely dismissed those ladies terrible actions that they were doing it in good will to help me. I was told i was still enrolled after i said no. I had to hang up on one lady. Pulled to the side after mass for lectures. My personal business talked about. Unwanted calls and emails etc.
In my new parish at my first ever meeting with the priest i explained the situation and why i left that parish. He asked for specific names of the ppl i had problems with old one and completely took their sides. He said to talk to the lady that runs that retreat and tell her im sorry basically and that i killed my chidren and my life is a mess because of it ect etc i asked him not to say anything to these retreat ladies but i think he will anyways as he went in and on about how theyre good friends of his.
I said father…does my baptism not cover those sins? He said yes but i had to get rid of the effects and curse from it.
I told him i am at peace. I dont have post abortion problems and that i believe in my heart im forgiven. He just dismissed that and flat out said he doesnt believe me.
I felt highly insulted.
I have made an appt to speak to the bishop of the diocese about this and how my baptism was treated.
Ill just tell u here how my baptism went.
Id been going to rcia for almost the entire thing but wasnt allowed to get baptized cuz i missed to much supposedly when ppl joined later than me and were allowed.
I went thru a health scare and was told i might have had lung cancer so i talked to the associate pastor in tears. A few weeks later the receptionist called and said the priest offered baptism which i gladly accepted. I never met with him before.
I was baptized…it was great. I had been going to daily mass for a year anyways…always in the adoration chapel i truly believe in the church.
The ppl started gossiping about my baptism for not having done the complete rcia i did everything but 2 months. Also the old ladies were telling everyone i had cancer.
The day of my surgery comes and one of the deacons and his wife go to my hospital bed. I thought how wonderful…they are here to support me. Boy was i wrong. The deacon asked if i had cancer and i said no the tumor was benign. Then he asked if i had LIED about my health to be baptized “early”. I said absolutely not. They dont remove 3/4 of your lung for nothing. Then he told me i must do another year of rcia and left.
I was shocked disgusted and heartbroken. Yet i continued to go to mass and even tried to do rcia again. It was humiliating. Ppl asked me why i was there going thru the rites if i was baptized. Finally i had enough and told the rcia director if she didnt think my baptism was valid to talk to the priest.
I went to talk to the priest and he was rude and talked about lying and sent me on my way. Not even 10 mins. Of his time. The associate priest i talked to was somehow fired for 2 months after my baptism. It was a huge scandal in my parish due to that deacon.
It was absolutely horrific…like welcome to the church!!!
Then that **** with the rachaels vineyard ppl so i left. The priest ignored me. Wouldnt even make eye contact with me.
Then i go talk to my new parish priest and get told basically the same thing about the abortion retreat and i felt highly insulted. So im going to talk to the bishop before i leave the catholic church entirely. If the bishop is like these priests im done. I shouldnt have to feel like i have to go to their abortion retreat as some kind of penance when number one my baptism covers that and number 2 i have been forgiven and i know this in my heart.
Are all catholic parishes and priests like this? I feel like i dont fit into the church. Im divorced twice and i had 2 abortions in my past and i feel severely judged for this. God knows my heart is right and i am in a state of complete grace. No mortal sins. I go to confession weekly. I am completely alone in life. No friends cuz i gave up all my old ways. I wonder if i made the wrong choice joining this church now after the ways ive been treated.