Hard Hearted Spouse


#1

Anybody have words of advice regarding a situation where one spouse is vindictive and disinterested in talking about things of the Faith and spiritual life? Spouse is RC, but has an insensitive and insulting attitude toward the others interest growing spiritually.


#2

Never had experience in this, but since no one has posted anything to you…

The first thing that I wondered in reading your post…does her feelings and actions have anything to do with something that has happened in her life to cause her to feel that “growing spiritually” is useless?

I would guess…YES…something is REALLY bothering her.


#3

[quote=DJgang]Never had experience in this, but since no one has posted anything to you…

The first thing that I wondered in reading your post…does her feelings and actions have anything to do with something that has happened in her life to cause her to feel that “growing spiritually” is useless?

I would guess…YES…something is REALLY bothering her.
[/quote]

You know, its probably a product of the upbrining… I sort of had a new insight this morning, and really, its a lack of self-honesty… I’m not sure how to foster this.


#4

I have experienced this with my wife- to some degree anyway. I had a reversion experience 4 years ago. I did a 180 in my life and naturally that changed things pretty dramatically at home for my wife and kids. While my wife was not vindictive, she was not happy or understanding of my new found spirituality in the early years- it was a strain on my marriage. I often took this to confession with a wonderful priest who I could trust. He advised me to slow down, be patient, not so vigilant, and reminded me of how God had been so patient in my life where I had wandered for most of my life. It was not realistic to think my wife would do a 180 in a couple of months due to my faith experience. He reminded me of my marriage vows, and how I was to imitate Christ who laid down his life for His Bride- the Church.

My advice- pray, pray and pray some more. Never lose hope. When I began taking this area to prayer- esp. to our Blessed Mother with the rosary- small miralces began to happen. (I don’t want to be over-dramatic, but slowly, my wife has made some dramatic changes in her life and in her faith walk).

One example to illustrate- we are now expecting our 3rd child. Four years ago we were sterilized, and vehemently opposed to any more children. The Grace of God transformed both of us (at different paces, and in different ways). We are in our late 30’s- and so excited, if it be God’s will, to have another baby. Some days I have to pinch myself that this is really happening.

Never lose hope, never stop praying.

God bless, Todd


#5

Well, I know that you are probably already doing this, but let your actions speak. Be a witness to your own faith…maybe she will follow?

Also, I kinda know how you might feel. I have a very close friend who is a single mother. She doesn’t take “motherhood” seriously. She is lazy about disipline with her son (being honest, she will tell you herself), she’s been involved with a married man for over 3 years :banghead: Everytime she turns around, something is “happening” to her, like last month, her ex-hubby quit his job and hasn’t paid child support. She’s had two cars repossed. Her son is considered ADHD…always having to deal with him about school. She says she has “bad luck” and God has abandoned her. Yeah right…she has abandoned God and I can’t for the life of me get her to see that.

What do I do? Instead to talking (like talking to a brick wall) I am a witness to her through my actions. Just show her love. Try to be a “spiritual” role model and a "mother’ role model for her. I encourage her in her motherly duties…but I feel that it does me no good to talk to her about God…I can just hope that the Holy Spirit works through my actions and opens her eyes. About the only thing I do is invite her to church. Maybe she will come one day.

I’ll pray for you!


#6

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