Hard times - Need some support


#1

Hi everyone - I haven’t posted in quite some time and I’m glad I thought of all of you today. DH has been out of work since the first of the year and it’s starting to get very difficult to manage. He’s been looking so hard for a job and not much is coming up. What little does come up seems to go nowhere. June is month 6 of no work and it seems July is coming up fast.

I’ve done a lot of praying over all of this and I’ve been trying to stick with a lot more of the “Help me find the strength to get through this” and not the “Please help my DH find a job” because I feel that God has a plan for us. I’ve learned a lot through the experience and I know what I was meant to gain from it.

We were on the path of trying to start a family when this job situation started and now that’s been put on hold until things get better again. We had a good cushion built up and now after living on only my income for this long, we’re watching it dwindle away. We’re starting to worry more seriously about having to sell our house.

I’m having difficulty trying to figure why all this is going on for so long, trying to think of more ways to help DH with his job search (I feel like we’re already doing so many things), dealing with the stress of not knowing what will happen next, dealing with the longing I feel for having children, and trying to be there to comfort DH when he is overly upset by all this while trying not to be upset myself. I know keeping a balance is important in marriage and I’m trying to stay strong through all this - but it’s becoming more and more difficult. Especially while DH is getting more and more “down” about the situation.

Any and all support, comments from people who’ve been here, anything is appreciated. I just need someone to turn to so I’m not burdening DH with all of this right now!


#2

Well I’m not sure that I’m the best person to tell you there is a silver lining as I’m in sort of the same situation. Doors have opened recently to allow me to go back to school and get back into education, but it took two years of sahky employment and two layoffs to get me to this point so I’m just now begining to see the light of day. The biggest thing you can do as a wife is support him. You know he is trying to find his way and words of encouragement from a wife are the most comforting thing a man can hear in a situation like this. He knows you are frustrated but as time goes on he will need your support more and more. After getting turned down at a job interview he needs the reassurance to go out and try just as hard for the next job. The day will come when he gets that call that you both have been hoping for but in the mean time you are the foundation that will keep him strong.


#3

My dh and I have been through this, too, although we are not young and wanting to start a family.

I have no sage advise to give you. All I can say is hang in there and trust in God. We’ve lived for the last 5 years with my dh having nothing but contract and seasonal work, so we’ve never been sure how long dh would have an income–and we’re practically a one income household (I earn a very small amount working at home–I am partially disabled).

Whenever we have needed funds they have somehow been there for us. We haven’t had money to throw around, but we’ve been able to eat and dress and have our house. I will pray that God will keep you in the hollow of his hand and Mary keep you under the mantle of her special protection during this time in your life. God bless.


#4

Your kind words mean more than you know. It helps so much just knowing that I am not alone.

Through prayer I’ve found a way to be grateful that we do not yet have a family to worry about through this. Having an experience like this to learn to support one another will be helpful for when we have children too, I’m sure.

There is a part of me, however, that cries out “Now that I’ve noticed and acknowledged these things, can we go back to just being happy now??” :stuck_out_tongue:

Part of me thinks I’m being selfish for wanting this to end and get back to moving forward with our plans for life. That part thinks that there are so many people that have more serious problems to deal with each day.

The other part of me says that everyone deserves to be happy and live a fruitful life and that there is nothing wrong with wanting that.

Can you tell I tend to overthink things if I let myself? :rolleyes:


#5

Prayers for you and your husband that he find work soon. Make sure you help the Lord by doing all activities you can to get his name and talents known.

Join, or at least contact, some local church groups (KofC, men’s club, catholic daughters, etc.) Offer up your intentions to these groups and let God work wonders. Perhaps some good Catholic person is in need of your husband’s talent and this might be the way to reach them.

Keep positive, keep prayer and faith close by, and keep looking. Good luck and God Bless.


#6

Had similar problems in the past, and worry, worry, worry, but would remind myself that God will provide, and He always did. What a wonderful caring wife you are!
Will ask St. Jude to watch over you and maybe he can nudge a future employer your DH’s way.
Prague


#7

Some advice, if it has been tried stop reading, if it sounds bad stop reading.

I had been out of work for awhile as well. Really since about the same time your husband was. I am too, a husband and father of now 3. Times were hell. My wife is a nurse, this helped a ton. Our plans were for me to get my masters and then get a job. We decided that I should be working and then it was months of trying to find something.

Things I learned with the help of a career manager. Better to find a job you really love, at least 80% of it anyway. Find your strengths and play to them. Research 10 or so companies. Really know them. Then network yourself into these. Join a social internet network like Linkedin.com and meet the most you can in these fields. Ask friends for referrals of other people who know someone. Remember, it is who know. I networked with about 20 people that were strangers before my job hunting began. Give it a try.


#8

I’m sure somebody has already suggested this to you but this novena has been positively miraculous for me and my family for money and job concerns.

catholicdoors.com/prayers/novenas/p03300.htm

I always try and go the extra mile and say it for 9 hours a day for 9 days when we have an urgent need.


#9

Thanks, I’ll tell my DH about that website.

[quote=bear06]I’m sure somebody has already suggested this to you but this novena has been positively miraculous for me and my family for money and job concerns.
[/quote]

You’re the first to mention it and I’ve actually never said a novena before… I’m going to give it a try.

Thanks everyone for your continued kind words!


#10

I don’t really have any advice, I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your husband.

May our Holy Mother comfort you always.

God bless!

Trish


#11

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