These last two years have been so hard. More so than the years before. I was raised as a Catholic, and really enjoy the faith of being a Catholic. I got married when I was 26 to another Catholic. I thought this was a good foundation. BUT I was so wrong.
From the very beginning my marriage showed major flaws. From the 3rd month we had seen our first marriage councellor. I could not understand what could be so wrong when two people should love each other. I prayed...people prayed for us. We kept ending in such lows. At one stage my husband wanted to commit suicide.
I am afraid of him and his moods. My mother, before she passed away, told me to leave him. With her strength, I did just that about 2 years ago. I was at my end. I was exhausted from emotional turmoil and being the only parent in the household. After 2 weeks of him mvoing out, I begged him to come back.
My husband can be caring and loving BUT he has no sense of resposibility and acts like a child...even thinks like a child. I find I have to be the caretaker. This has always put a burden on me. My one son is ADD, and my other son is severly ADHD.
It is through them, that I realised that my husband was also ADHD. I did not realise the extent this played on our relationship until just recently. I thought adults grew out of it, but I was so wrong.
After going through 4 marriage councellors, one through the Church, as well as attending Retrouvaille, we still cannot make it work. I have no respect left, and I do not love him anymore. I am scared because my anger is so great. I pray everyday that God gives me strength and not to hate him so much.
Much of my faith has been that God will give you only things you can handle. A marriage is a sacrement. But when do I say NO. I cannot even handle him touching me, nevermind Sex. I have asked him to leave. Otherwise I will lose my sanity. My kids are not doing well either in the current environment.
Please help me understand the Catholic teachings behind separation/ divorce and emotional abuse?? I need to find peace.