Has anyone done IVF?


#1

Many of us know that IVF is against the Church’s teaching. I would appreciate responses from those who have either done IVF or strongly considered doing it. Please let me know how you entered into your decision to do it or to not.

I am one who, unfortunately, did IVF a couple of years ago and regretted it. I went to confession and I hope and pray for the Lord’s forgiveness.

God bless.


#2

I’m sorry that you are feeling unhappy. However, if you’ve been to confession then you already have God’s forgiveness. It’s really that simple. That is why we have that sacrament.

Is it okay to ask how the IVF went? Do you have children now?

With best wishes, C.


#3

We had to consider it. But it was a quick decision after we learned that the Church is against and it usually kills babies. Those frozen embryos that are not used are destroyed. Also, usually several are implanted that don’t live. Why would we create babies just to kill them?
We chose to do things God’s way. We took care of the medical problems as best we could, with me taking medication to correct my hormonal imbalances, even so far as taking ovulation-stimulating meds (clomid). But no farther, as it is against Church teaching and gets too close for comfort to us playing God.
We had a son on clomid, then went through 8 years of infertility. We finally felt led to adopt. We adopted a beautiful baby girl. Then, surprise surprise, with no treatment whatsoever, I got pregnant again and we now have another beautiful daughter.
God sometimes has other plans for us. Maybe there is a child out there you are meant to adopt. If you are faithful to Him, He will lead you to where He wants you to be and give you peace about it.


#4

C,

I appreciate your post. I know that I have God’s forgiveness. It’s just that I will always have the memory that I chose to do something gravely sinful. At the time, I had a lot of pressures by my family to do IVF. I clearly knew the the Church’s position. Yet, I chose to do it anyway. The IVF was unsuccessful. After the IVF, my dh and I quickly decided to head down the adoption route. We now have a beautiful adopted baby boy from Kazakhstan. It is not important that he is not biologically ours. He’s our son.

The purpose of my post is a response to the recent post, “Not feeling guilty for IVF.” I would like to know how many other women have faced this decision and how they responded.

God bless.


#5

I have what I can only call “bouts” of amenorrhea and there is some suspicion of an underlying cause such as POD or endometriosis. I do fall into the risk category for amenorrhea by being very skinny and athletic (bee in sports activities since an early age).

I highly suspect that fertility is a big problem for me and I’ve talked about this a lot with my DF. We both feel called to adopt children, even if I can conceive.

Although I would be interested in some of the hormonal treatments available for fertility issues, choosing IVF has never been an option for me. The risks, costs and flippant waste of life associated with the procedure far outweighs the sentimental value of birthing your own child against all odds.

I fear that I and future children may suffer from miscarriages or ectopic pregnancies. I see no reason to take it further by actively choosing such a fate.


#6

As I mentioned in the other thread, I was in an invalid “marriage” for 11 years and was never able to conceive. When we had our wedding I was on the pill, and then three months later he was diagnosed with testicular cancer. He had the testicle removed and received radiation therapy, no chemo. He was sterile for about a year. The day he was diagnosed I went off the pill. (I was not a practicing Catholic at the time.)

As luck would have it, at the time I happened to be working at one of the best fertility clinics in the country. I knew exactly who to go to for him and we had his cancer taken care of very quickly - he had the very same diagnosis as Lance Armstrong, but Armstrong waited till his tumor was massive before doing anything about it.

Anyway - because I worked where I did it was an automatic assumption that I would do everything in my power to get pregnant. As the years went by and we were not getting there, at the same time I started growing in my Faith (there is a reason why God has the timing He does!!). We did clomid and ultrasound, and at the same time I used NFP to chart my fertility. I was ovulating totally normal, my tubes were clear, and his sample was finally back to normal. So everything looked good to go and try some science - but I just couldn’t bring myself to do that. The more my Church and my Faith taught me about why these things were wrong, the less appealing they became for me.

Finally, in the end, I left that job, and left that man (another story :smiley: ). But the entire time we were in full agreement that no matter how badly I wanted a baby (he really didn’t care one way or the other) that we would not do anything that we did not agree was morally acceptable.

So now I am in a wonderful sacramental marriage with a man who loves me endlessly, is 12 years my junior, and is ok with the possibility of not having children. We would not adopt, we just are not interested in that. And we both agree that whether or not we have our own children is totally up to God.

So we just sit back and see what happens! :smiley: And in the mean time, life is good! I’ve had my share of so many years of dreading Mother’s Day and crying on the way home after visiting a friend in the hospital with a new baby. I’ve had to move beyond that and realize that, while I was constantly praying to accept God’s will in my life, that this IS His will, that I am without children. And I’m ok with that! Finally! And it’s a great feeling.

~Liza


#7

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