As I mentioned in the other thread, I was in an invalid “marriage” for 11 years and was never able to conceive. When we had our wedding I was on the pill, and then three months later he was diagnosed with testicular cancer. He had the testicle removed and received radiation therapy, no chemo. He was sterile for about a year. The day he was diagnosed I went off the pill. (I was not a practicing Catholic at the time.)
As luck would have it, at the time I happened to be working at one of the best fertility clinics in the country. I knew exactly who to go to for him and we had his cancer taken care of very quickly - he had the very same diagnosis as Lance Armstrong, but Armstrong waited till his tumor was massive before doing anything about it.
Anyway - because I worked where I did it was an automatic assumption that I would do everything in my power to get pregnant. As the years went by and we were not getting there, at the same time I started growing in my Faith (there is a reason why God has the timing He does!!). We did clomid and ultrasound, and at the same time I used NFP to chart my fertility. I was ovulating totally normal, my tubes were clear, and his sample was finally back to normal. So everything looked good to go and try some science - but I just couldn’t bring myself to do that. The more my Church and my Faith taught me about why these things were wrong, the less appealing they became for me.
Finally, in the end, I left that job, and left that man (another story ). But the entire time we were in full agreement that no matter how badly I wanted a baby (he really didn’t care one way or the other) that we would not do anything that we did not agree was morally acceptable.
So now I am in a wonderful sacramental marriage with a man who loves me endlessly, is 12 years my junior, and is ok with the possibility of not having children. We would not adopt, we just are not interested in that. And we both agree that whether or not we have our own children is totally up to God.
So we just sit back and see what happens! And in the mean time, life is good! I’ve had my share of so many years of dreading Mother’s Day and crying on the way home after visiting a friend in the hospital with a new baby. I’ve had to move beyond that and realize that, while I was constantly praying to accept God’s will in my life, that this IS His will, that I am without children. And I’m ok with that! Finally! And it’s a great feeling.