…and moved far away, no job, no plan – and just leave, to start anew?
No, but I dream of doing that. My DH and I live comfortably and have a beautiful home, and great jobs... but we don't like:
The big city
what our jobs stand for
lack of neighbourhood friendliness
I always wondered though, by doing this, if it is a case of grass is always greener?
[quote="Truly_Beloved, post:1, topic:182662"]
...and moved far away, no job, no plan -- and just leave, to start anew?
I don't have a family to take care of. But I left my hometown where I grew up, all my friends, everything I knew to move over 200 miles away. No real plan, just enough money for moving expenses. I did find a job and an apartment in a a few days. It is nervewracking. But I like the new start. :D People think I'm confident.
The only complaint is the churches are very very very bad (very unwelcoming to single women). Oh well, I might be moving again after my lease expires. Vegas here I come! :D
yes, but by necessity, lay-offs, downsizing etc.
doing it with a plan is better, but you can do what you have to do.
very proud of DD she did this as a young adult when she wanted to get away from friends and situations that were dragging her down, on her own initiative, got job, apartment, another job, a better job, met a good Catholic boy (saints be praised) married, settled down there, finished school, has a great job, and 2 kids (which she has been told since age 13 could never happen for her). God is Good–all the Time.
I did it twice... once when I was young.. it was a great adventure and I learned alot about my self.
Then a second time a few years ago. I moved to beautiful California and loved it....
However.. I had to move back home because of the economy.
I think having a plan is a much better idea.
What kind of plan? Knowing at least which state you’d want to go to?
I’ve dreamt of it many times, and I am fairly well off. Own my home, car, etc. 30 years old, single, no kids…oh boy, I’ve dreamt of it.
But I couldn’t part with my stuff-my books, baseball cards, etc.
And only the trumpets of Doomsday would get me to give up my dogs…and even then, It would be tough.
I never have, but I know that if it so happens that my husband ever loses his job, there would be a good chance we would have to do just that. I suppose we'd wait until he had a job elsewhere, though, so I can't say that it would be without a plan.
We live in a small, small town, where I grew up, and he's a big fish in a little sea.
I personally don't think it's wise to move without a new job unless you're independently wealthy. It definitely warrants a pretty strong business case. Run the cost/benefit analysis (not just financial, but emotional, social, spiritual, mental, physical) before diving into an unknown risk.
[quote="Truly_Beloved, post:6, topic:182662"]
What kind of plan? Knowing at least which state you'd want to go to?
First off.. why on earth would you leave the perfect weather in Phoenix? hehe
I would have a plan for a job ect... or enough money in the bank to last a year or more (thats how long it is taking to find a job these days)
When I moved to California I did alot of research into what area of town.. I visited first and drove around..
I loved it. Instantly.
But, I was moving from ugly weather to perfect weather which.. for me ... made a HUGE difference in my choice to move.
I didn’t sell everything but I sold a lot. Moved from big city to middle of nowhere mountain farm type situation. Bought a house cheap, renovated it, tried to live the whole middle of nowhere life. Oh did I mention I did this when baby was 8 weeks old? And I was by myself, no husband, just me and children? And we packed up most of our stuff into our mini van and drove it 17 hours to our new home? It was crrrazy! But at the time I thought I needed the change, and a fresh start. It turned out to be a huge flop. I didn’t like living an hour from the grocery store…taking care of large animals, and having very few neighbors to choose from to be friends with. I moved back to be near my family, a little over a year later. Took forever for the house in middle of nowhere to sell, which left my financially high and dry for quite awhile. Things 5 years after are better, but looking back it was definitely a case of the grass is greener. I wouldn’t do it again!
But then again... it could be a good "appreciation course"...
Not as drastic as shannyk's example, but when I went to college I decided that I wanted a big change - so I moved from sunny, familiar Florida up to NH :eek:... needless to say, I was back home by the 2nd semester. :p It TRULY was a great appreciation course - I came home more thankful than I had ever been. :)
Met a woman years ago who had fallen in love with Hawaii. Came home, sold everything, and went to Hawaii without having a job lined up. Not a good idea. She never found one. Spent all of her money on daily expenses and finally had to return home without any money. She suffered a nervous breakdown.
it was a good move for me. Ever since I was in high school, I had to fulfill the role of good girl. I always wanted to live right outside a big city. I hated Salem, Oregon. Now I live 30 minutes from Seattle. It has opened my eyes so much. I never realized that Salem was so small-minded.
I can do what I want, not what my friends or people from church want me to be. I can live for myself for the first time in a long time. No roommates, no parents, no well meaning brothers to check up on me.
It will be Heaven if Brad Paisley evers decides to tour here again.
Next stop, I would to live in Las Vegas! That is Heaven to me.
My mom did this when I was 18. We were living in an apartment that had been robbed, her car had been vandalized, and the economy was horrific - it was 1983 in burbs of Detroit. She had had enough of the winters, and the robbery was the last straw. We had family in NC at the time and so she packed the two of us up and we moved down there. She did not have a job, my aunt found us a townhouse to rent that was actually very nice. It turned out to be the best thing my mom ever did - she found a career as a corporate travel planner for a major corporation and retired from that job. She bought a beautiful historical Victorian home and has restored it into a masterpiece. It was terrifying for her, but it was the right thing to do.
My cousin, who is now 46, sold everything he owned, packed up the important stuff and stored it at his parent's house, and moved to Brazil. He was in his mid 20's, and he has been there ever since. He grew up there as a child and speaks fluent Portuguese, so that was not difficult for him. He didn't have a job, and went down and stayed with friends of the family when he got there, not having a clue what he was going to do. He just knew he had to be there and not in the States. He is now doing very well with his own business and doing translation work on the side for corporate training videos.
It can be done - but it is terrifying.
[quote="Truly_Beloved, post:1, topic:182662"]
Has anyone ever sold everything they had, uprooted their family... ...and moved far away, no job, no plan -- and just leave, to start anew?
I suspect that quite a few of our ancestors did something along those lines when they moved to America and settled the West. But I think most had some kind of plan, even if they didn't have all the details figured out...
I almost had my husband talked into this about a year ago...
Sell the businesses, our house and rebuild on his old home place, making it into a self sufficient farm where we would raise our own food, etc...we would be debt free all but those living expenses and continue to homeschool the kids, move my parents and his mother in with us...
Yep, we thought about it.
We did this, but we did have a bit of a plan. My husband received a modest inheritance and we decided to use the money to move to the southwest mountains. We did this with three kids in tow. My husband did line up a job, though it was half of what he was making at the job he left. We thought it would be ok because we had inheritance money to live on. We were planning to look for a business opportunity to boost our income.
We sold or gave away alot of our stuff. Everything else we put in storage. We stayed at my parent’s cabin until we could find a place to live. It turned out to be a very tough road at first. We had to move several times because my husband’s job didn’t work out and I became very ill (at death’s door) right after having my fourth baby and starting a new business. Our business wasn’t making any money and my husband nearly had a nervous breakdown worrying about me, trying to take care of the kids, and figuring out how to pay our bills. The business needed my skills and because I couldn’t work it wasn’t bringing in an income. The money ran out and we were to the point of cashing out of 401ks just so we could put food on the table.
Fast forward three years… We are finally living the lifestyle we want (independent and rural) and our business is supporting us. We are still suffering some financial consequences (I still have mountains of medical bills, my credit is in the toilet and we have no financial buffer), but we are very very happy. It was an extremely tough road, but we made it. I’m pretty sure we would have been more financially secure if we had stayed put, but it has been a great adventure, we have learned alot, our faith and trust in God has deepened and we feel very blessed!
I kind of did something similar. I don’t have a family/wife, but shortly after beginning work full time as a consultant (less than a year outside of college) I was given the opportunity to travel half way across the country for a project which would last 1-2years. I had to commit to at least a year on the project. I thought about it for a day or so and then agreed. The company supplied me with a corporate apartment.
I traveled out to a region/state I had never been to before, didn’t know anyone, and basically only took a couple weeks worth of clothes and my laptop. It was a great experience and I really got to experience a different lifestyle/culture in a part of the US much differen than where I grew up. All in all, the area wasn’t for me and I moved back at the end of a year, but professionally and personally I grew/developed a lot. It was the right choice to make at that point in my life.
All that being said, I would never pick up and leave without a plan in place which would include housing, a stable job, etc and a good reason to leave my current situation.
I see a trend.
That’s the thing – We’ve done “The American Dream” – And, at least for us, it’s pretty empty. We got married at 22, bought a new house 2 months later, drive a nice little car, and have 3 children. We’ve been doing everything “responsibly,” taking very few risks, and doing everything according to conventional wisdom, but happiness eludes us.
We just started talking about this last night, and we’re so cautious about nearly everything (research things to death, take minimal risks, etc.), that we find ourselves hoping that something comes up at my husband’s job that forces us to make a decision. :o
But if we want to make the decision so badly, yet we just lack the courage to actually make the jump, what does that mean?
That’s exactly how we’ve thought for our entire lives, both of us. And from the outside, everything looks so neat. The job, the house, the stuff, it’s all empty, maddening, and unfulfilling. Aren’t there people out there who actually like their jobs? And isn’t that really important for a man, especially, if he’s the sole breadwinner?
Our marriage and children are great, though. Perhaps our expectations are too high?
The biggest problem re: plan for a job, is that my husband doesn’t know what he wants to do. :shrug: He’s an engineer, and hates it; but doesn’t think he has any “real” or marketable skills. He’s a pilot, too, and loves it, but he doesn’t fly for money. And it’s such an expensive hobby, that he hasn’t flown in a long time. He’s afraid that if he leaves his engineering job to fly, he won’t be able to provide for the family (biggest fear) and he’ll be gone all the time.
That’s what we’re afraid of… Grass is greener syndrome.
So if it’s not terrifying, maybe we shouldn’t do it?
What keeps you from doing it?
This is it. This is what we’d like to have.
Part of me says pursuing happiness isn’t a good enough reason to walk away from a stable job (my husband can retire in 23 years, putting us at 52 years old, with a very nice monthly income during retirement), a nice home in a safe rural-ish neighborhood, good neighbors, and a great diocese.
I guess the question becomes – If you hate your job, but it’s stable, well-paying, and has great benefits, when is it justifiable to leave? Never? Do you just put in your time now, hoping that you get to enjoy life later? What if tomorrow never comes?
I have to say that I am very happy with the way things are (I stay home with the kids, and will be officially homeschooling next year), but since my husband is not, then I think it’s wise to at least consider other options. Ideally, I think entrepreneurship appeals the most to him, but he doesn’t even know where to begin, or what to do/sell.