I don’t know what kind of impotence you are referring to, but it is certainly possible to ascertain if a man is medically impotent by the presence or absence of certain signs. He doesn’t need to actually attempt the marital embrace to know, or at least have a good idea of his ability or lack thereof.
Not always the case.
Of course it is not always the case, but most men know full well if they have sexual function since passing through puberty, whether or not they’ve gone on a “test drive”.
I might avoid speculating, since every case will be different. Suffice it to say, unforeseen medical conditions do exist, so the ‘odds’ don’t really matter since in the end each individual’s experience is binary (yes/no) on whether something applies in their specific case.
In the case I know of that was annulled for non consummation, the reason was also medical. It happens, and presumably it’s unforeseen when it happens because who proceeds through marriage if they know about it in advance?
If a medical cause existed before the exchange of consent, then that would go a long way toward proving non-consummation. The Church presumes that a marriage has been consummated when the couple has lived together, so it’s difficult to prove otherwise.
Y’all, all I wanted when I posted my question was to hopefully connect with someone who’s been through this. But frankly, some of the speculative comments were quite offensive and hurtful. In a spirit of charity, I’ll assume they were not meant to offend or cause pain. In the future, though, I hope some posters will give more thought to their words before they hit send.
I’m sorry that you had this experience. I’m afraid CAF can be a bit… like that. I’m not sure why.
I appreciate what you were initially looking for, and your charity in believing the best of those who didn’t necessarily provide it. I’m sorry we didn’t yet have the helpful experience base to give you a heads up about what one of your potential paths may look like!
I might reiterate my up-thread suggestion that perhaps yours will be the experience that can help the next person through this more effectively. While at the same time, please do whatever feels right for your own spiritual well-being regarding staying on this site or not (many people find benefit from taking at least extended breaks).
PS I hope that God will bless you and your husband (? I’m not sure proper language at these times) throughout this process. Know that no matter what, He is with you both, each step of the way, and loves you completely.
Thank you so much! You have no idea how much your kind reply means to me. May God bless you and yours as well.
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