There are plenty of men for whom the only criteria seems to be “most likely doesn’t have a Y chromosome.” Trust me, I’ve been harassed when I might as well have been wearing a burka for all you could see of me. It was cold and windy, I had every inch I could thoroughly covered because the wind hurt.
I think I have mentioned here earlier that I was followed by a strange guy when I was younger (can’t remember the exact age, but definitely less than 15). I can assure you I look like a diseased rat, lol. And I can assure you he didn’t want to ask me out on a date. Looks don’t matter for such men. They don’t do this to get a date. In fact most of them don’t even want to actually pursue you. They just treat the women like some sort of object, as if they’re entitled to do so. Some sort of sick gratification, yuck.
I think many men do not notice. Most guys like that tend to suppress such behavior around decent men who they think might say something. Women who appear to be with a man aren’t typically bothered. And the men aren’t often obvious about it, so that if you’re not listening in to the conversation and the woman doesn’t make a loud fuss, you might not known.
But that is the whole point of the #metoo movement - that very many women do experience this kind of harassment. And we’d like decent men to be aware.
Oh yeah, it started for me as soon as I hit puberty. I’ve been told I am somewhat above average in the looks department, but even so - I can assure you the one thing I’ve never looked is older than I am. I don’t really see any level of attractiveness that could justify an adult man paying that kind of attention to a preteen girl.
Exactly. My friends were recently harassed by some men doing construction work too.
It’s not about attraction at all. Just guys who were raised up to think that’s how you normally interact with girls. A lot of guys don’t intend to hurt, even. But the problem with them is that even when a whole bunch of girls tell them that it’s not good behavior, they hop onto internet forums and whine about feminism instead of changing the way they act because one or two girls out of 497246 gave them a positive reaction.
I am curious what kind of situations you’ve been in? I mention in part because in my experience it really did vary by where I was and what kind of men I was dealing with. There was one area I recall being the center of much of the problem (unfortunately it wasn’t an area I could avoid). But I had very many times where I had to get quite rude with a man in order to be left alone, or involve another man - because even when I was saying no, it wasn’t taken as anything that needed to be listened to. I had one particular case where I had to involve a male friend, simply because no matter how many times I said no it didn’t matter.
And of course there’s nothing at all you can do about the random stuff, like having crude things shouted at you out car windows or wolf whistles as you’re out riding your bike or whatever.
Men who do that are looking for an easy target. There are many creeps in the world. At least once or twice a year the school district near me issues warnings that someone in a car approached a girl to entice her to come into the car.
I remember in high school there was a jerk in a car who would expose himself to the girls as they made there way home. We needed to travel in groups. I never saw him, but my classmate did.
There’s also the fear of the guy becoming violent if he gets ‘offended’ at being rejected. We see a few horror cases. Nobody really dares to reject rudely unless they feel safe to do so (eg. In a well populated area, the guy looks physically weak/unarmed).
We have that here too. I was in a catholic girls’ school and we constantly had flashers or creeps who would randomly grab girls by their hair. My sister was recently a victim we filed a report but nothing happened. They told us they exhausted all their leads and couldn’t find anything. Thankfully my sister is a toughie.