Has your wife ever said “you’re getting too religious”?


#1

I’ve been Catholic all my life and so has my wife. She wasn’t raised in a house that followed the faith as closely as I did when we were kids. When we got married we both knew we were Catholic so no surprises there, however we were the ‘do just the bare minimum’ types of Catholics.

Anyway, we both stopped going to church or practicing the faith for about 10 years but have gotten back into it this year. She’s ok with just going to church and doing the precepts (which I am grateful for!) but I feel like I’ve had a complete reversion. I pray the rosary daily (sometimes more than once), been reading the Bible, going to daily mass when I can, joined the Knights of Columbus, etc.

She’s had a hard time with me joining KofC and doesn’t like when I go to the meetings. Recently I’ve been posting what saint’s day it is on social media and has told me I’m getting too religious.

I asked her how is this a bad thing? She says it’s not and that it’s just overwhelming.

At this point I can tell she’s getting frustrated so I try to calm the situation before she just shuts down and throws up the wall.

There are a few more examples but for the sake of brevity (what’s left of it anyway) I’ll leave them.

So has any other spouse dealt with this? What did you do? What’s your advice? I have no intentions of being less religious considering I would very much like to obtain salvation.

Of course I’d like to see hers obtained for her too. I pray for her daily and I know it’s His will and not mine. Any thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you and God bless.


#2

Mine is just the opposite. Of course, both of us are in the Renewal, we are both committed to the Christian ways of life that we took in. There were times when I slacked, especially in prayer time or reading the Word or wanting to miss going out for ministry, she would be a pillar of my strength to gently urge me not to forget our calling to live the life that God has called us to. We would talk about the subject or pray together.

Thanks God that you also found a new life in the Church and become involved too. You are in the right direction because it comes with being interested in spiritual and religious things. Your topics of interest or even in conversation and social media will reflect that.

I can understand how your wife feels because these things come with enthusiasm and fire, so to speak. If she has not had that yet, yes, she may find them overwhelming. She may need more understanding from you and perhaps you may ensure to have more time spent with her. Sometimes involvement in the church can leave little for the family. We went through that before. Sorry about this, it is not what you are asking. I am just sharing.

God bless.


#3

Thank you for the response @Reuben_J and for sharing!

I’ve found that more often than not it’s the opposite situation. Seems like women are more involved with the faith than men are. Not really sure why that is. Maybe it’s a pride thing…?

Anyway, I have been trying to be charitable with her and inviting her to pray with me (and saying “it’s no big deal if not”) or just talking to her about it when she wants to. I keep falling back in that it’s His will and not mine. In His time not mine.

My greatest fear is that she’d leave me over this…mostly makes me sad because I already know what choice I’d make. (Obviously suggesting counseling and professional help should it get to that but I won’t deny my faith…at least I’ll try not to. Is that a rooster I hear?)

Thank you again for the reply.

God bless.


#4

Are things that bad?


#5

@Cruciferi
As I mentioned I had other examples.

When I joined the KofC there was a one day retreat and I signed up for it. We had no plans that day so why not?

A few days later my son’s first sporting event happened to fall on the day of the retreat. Now there were going to be more sports events and I had already committed to the retreat.

She got so upset with me that I chose the retreat over a sports event that she yelled “F—- the Catholic Church!!! Family is first!!!”

I told her that I’d always pick God over family but that this doesn’t mean I’m abandoning my family. (Loving and serving God through your family because that’s my calling, etc)

Anyway, she looked at me and said she wasn’t sure I’m the same man she married.

Not sure if she was just emotional or meant it but I’m just trying to find the balance.


#6

My mom says it. My friends say it too. And girls I’ve dated said it


#7

OP, it could be that all of your “religiousness” is just a reminder to her of what she should be doing but isn’t. I would actually suggest not asking her to pray with you, or anything. Lead by example and maybe eventually she will follow.


#8

@irishmom2. I know what you mean.

I like that advice of simply being an example. Whatever she thinks she thinks.

Thank you for that.


#9

Honestly most people don’t understand being religious. Their understanding of God is that of the guy they ask for help when they can’t turn to anyone else. When things are good they don’t think of God


#10

Wow, that’s really angry.

It sounds like she resents your time away from your family. I don’t know how many kids you have, but is it possible that she feels overwhelmed when she feels she has to do things by herself?

Because honestly, flipping out on the Church because you are missing one game is really out there.


#11

I actually agree with your wife about your son’s baseball game. That was more important than your retreat. There will be other retreats. There won’t be another first baseball game.


#12

Thanks. Your sharing in the OP is encouraging and ones of my pet subjects. Seeing people coming back to the Church is like seeing Jesus has found a strayed sheep, picked it up and brought it to greener pasture which he only knows where. It is like seeing the Lord is always at work, looking and searching for the lost ones, and when He found them He will minister to them and cares for them. And how the sheep feels the comfort of His presence and protection.

Yes, I agree with you that there are more women than men involved in the faith. Let’s just say it is a mystery. Hehe. Perhaps it is due to the difference in our made up, our psyche and temperament. But of course there are many seemingly unlikely candidates – prideful and raunchy men who were touched by the Lord and were changed and became men for the Lord. Of course in the process they have their share of eating their humble pie and what a spectre it is.

As for your wife, I am kind of sorry to hear that. That should not be, I mean to the extent of leaving you because of your new found faith. And that should not be the outcome as well.

I am not sure what happens, you do not have to tell me here, but your faith for God should be a welcome sign for her because it would make you at least a better husband. And that is what every girl wants. Perhaps you can look into that area, like is the church activities you undertake at the expense of some of the tender things and times that you should have with her?

God bless.


#13

@SacredHeartBassist :smile: I didn’t say baseball game. It was actually a swim meet and he’s played soccer before and I’ve coached for his team and have been involved. It just happened to be his first meet.

Also the retreat was a test run to see if there was an interest in participating. So the more men that went shows that there is interest.


#14

Meh, there’ll be other games.


#15

As a father your duty is to your family.


#16

No, God comes first.


#17

@Irishmom2

I think she panicked thinking I was just gonna leave her or abandon the family duties. She actually prayed about this issue on why I’d say God first, then family.

I should probably mention that we have a 1 year old (our second child…the oldest is 10).


#18

I am thinking she did panic at the thought of juggling a baby and watching your son’s meet.


#19

That doesn’t mean that going to every church function. God does NOT require that from us. And taking care of your children IS serving God.


#20

Can’t Fathers and Mothers attend a retreat occasionally? Perhaps attend their bowling league or club gathering?

Seriously, this isn’t abandonment.


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