You HAVE to take a couple to couple league CLASS and LEARN NFP. I’m sorry y’all got to the point of fear of intimacy before figuring this out. Truly. I keep running into so many young couples in this same boat. Why aren’t they pushing the classes at engagement encounter weekends?
NFP really does work if you take the class and chart. I don’t even chart my temp any longer. We’ve been together 20 years & have 5 children. BUT, they were all conceived while both of us knew we were fertile but had enough wine that neither of us cared & were just like “it’s God will!” Lol. We are happy and my husband is one of 5 and always wanted 5 so all is well. But not everyone is mentally and/or emotionally equipped for 5. So I get it that you’re feeling this way.
We really don’t want anymore. Our babies were 10 pounds and I’m small, so physically & considering complications after the last births I don’t think it would be good for me. And I’m enjoying our life free of diapers for the first time in 18years!! So we now have a “designated” natural family planner if we’re fertile. I rarely drink now that I’m approaching 40/get headaches from only 1 drink, so it’s not really a problem to be “designated”
I know some couples who are like y’all and didn’t take a class and can’t financially support another child after having 4 due to private school tuition (we are in a city with some of the worst public schools in the nation) so these couples began using condoms if anywhere near the fertile window. I told them if they take the class and chart they wont need to do that. But they’re terrified, and I get it, so I don’t judge. Some Priests have told them they’ve “done their duty” and God understands. Some tell them to take the class and trust in the Lord.
The class is around an hour for 4 weekends or so. It’s EXTREMELY informative. Also, i highly recommend PAPER charting and not using an app. You have to see the month all laid out in front of you on paper to really “get it”
Oh and it’s really your wife that would be charting- not you. There’s really no mood breaker. She would know if she is or isn’t in the fertile window before the mood strikes y’all. As for her not being interested in sex - it’s probably because she feels like nothing but a mom and like everyone just wants a piece of her in some way. I felt this way a lot especially while breastfeeding exclusively. I just couldn’t get in “that“ mood. Things are fantastic now though. All the kids are weaned and out of diapers and I feel like a woman and a mom not JUST a mom.
it’s important for her to periodically feel desirable and to desire you even in the midst of the sweet chaos of little ones, so Take her out to dinner. Tell her she’s beautiful. Talk to her in her eyes at dinner. She might need that to get of out “mom mode”. And if y’all drink, have a drink before so she lets her hair down a little. For some gals, it’s hard to go from mom mode to feeling desirable mode. A cocktail or 2 can make all the difference in relaxing her and quieting her thoughts of “the kids”
Good luck! Oh and pray together every night as a fam. Even if it’s just one Our Father and One Hail Mary.