Have no choice please pray for us both


Please pray for us both - we are to be married in June, outside of the church. Anullment is not possible from previous marriage on my partners side, so we both will be unable to receive communion. Love is a difficult think to understand. Our lord loves us both without reservation, but the catholic church does not! I am told by so called loving people that i will no longer be a catholic or a christian when I do not receive our lord through the eucharist. I believe that GOD is bigger than this and does not love us both any less. Please pray for us both that we will find strength from God as we both enter into new lives together. I will close my membership on here if it is necessary to do so. As the so called “loving people” will recognise themselves and me by what I have said! My love and prayers go out to All those others who find themselves in this kind of situation. God Bless.



O Lord, grant him an annulment. Amen.


Love means correcting the loved one when they are wrong and not turning a blind eye. If my child sneaks out of the house I tell them that they did wrong, and probably punish them for it. I’d be failing in my duty as a parent to not discipline them in such a situation. That doesn’t mean I love them any the less. In fact REAL love wants what is good and right for the beloved, and not just what is easy.

God is no different - it says in scripture ‘those whom God loves, He corrects’. He could easily choose not to give us the Ten Commandments, but He MUST, as a loving parent, teach us what is right even if it seems harsh to us. The Church, similarly, as a loving parent, has the duty to discipline its erring children.

Now God gave us the Church, and God gave the Church the power to bind and loose. So if you think God is somehow ‘separate from’ the Church, or ‘above’ its rules (read the OT to find out what God REALLY thinks of obedience to His rules!) you’ve got another think coming.

As Eucharisted said, it may be possible to appeal the decision or seek an anullment again, in a different diocese. Perhaps it will be granted in such a case. If you choose to do this, I certainly pray with all my heart and soul that God will open up the way for you two to get married.

If not, then I will certainly still pray for you - but instead that you and your betrothed do God’s will. God’s will is not sunder that which He joined (ie the previous valid marriage where he, apparently, willingly and freely vowed to God and his first wife ‘till death do them part’). His first wife may not keep up her side of the bargain - but God always will, and expects us to as well, no matter what our spouses do.


Whatever was said, you remain one of us. Of course you remain Catholic even if you don’t receive Communion. I pray that this day will come. In the meantime I ask my angel to share my Communions with you. I ask him to bring the Lord in spirit to you, as long as I live or as long as it takes.

In any case do you know of spiritual Communion? If you sincerely ask Jesus for spiritual Communion while others are receiving Jesus as “a circle of flat bread”, is less faith required for that than to receive through the Spirit in your heart? Think about it. Do you think your desire wouldn’t draw Jesus to you. Don’t you think He will gaze at you with the tenderest love? I believe the tears will be in His eyes, as in yours.

With love, Trishie


Dear friend,
this is one of the prayers I wrote some years ago and is one of the basic prayers of my daily life…and you see, it already includes you and your husband!!!

On behalf of others
Father, in Jesus’ name, I pray concurrently for everyone, for my family, physical and spiritual, as if each were the only one. I pray on behalf of Your faithful ones; of those who are sadly denied Communion; of the unbelieving, of the discouraged and of all who are ever denied ministry of their faith, so that You may unite their deprivation, misery, even torment of body, to Jesus in His Eucharist. I offer their struggles and achievements, so that, even if unaware, they share in the spiritual life of the Church.

I know that in Your great love You will accept my prayer on their behalf, in union with Jesus in whom everything attains infinite value, however unworthy the supplicant. **Let it give them comfort and peace, and full Communion in You. **Let it obtain pardon for their sins and let it obtain their faith, hope and charity despite materialism or injustice that confronts and embroils them.

Father, through crucified and risen Jesus, I** trust You to share to repletion the lowly bread of my prayer that is leavened to infinite abundance by communion in You**. Give my prayer again and again through Him who endlessly gives Himself wholly to each person in the Eucharist. Please enflame me (and all Christians) with gospel authenticity that will also ignite others with faith and ministry. Thank You God who acts in us beyond human understanding.

By the way, I’m Australian, but my mother-in-law came from Liverpool:)


First let me say that I am sorry to hear about your situation as it is really hard. I do not think you should close your membership here, as you are in need of God’s grace - if this forum helps you in any way, you are most welcome to stay (I do not frequent here it too often, so I cannot judge how beneficial it is for you). Also, remember that you are still part of the Church, and God will never give up on you.

But I also have something hard to say to you too - you said:
Our lord loves us both without reservation, but the catholic church does not! - and this is where you are wrong. Because the real question that you should ask yourself is how do YOU love the Lord? We have been created to love and serve HIM - not the other way round. Remember the story of a young rich man? He was all willing to follow Jesus but there was something that held him back - that was his possession. He loved it more than Jesus. I am afraid the same goes for you - you loved your man more than Jesus. And don’t say that it is the Church that makes you unhappy - you are just like that rich man, you have made a choice and you are not entirely happy with it.

In Mark chapter 10, Jesus was asked if it is OK to divorce wife - since Moses’ law has allowed it.

** 5"It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied. 6"But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’[a] 7’For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,** 8and the two will become one flesh.’[c] So they are no longer two, but one. 9Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

10When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”

So my suggestion is that instead of being angry with the Church, you just pray and pray and surrender all your problems to Jesus. Also pray for those who are in a similar situation - as it is a hard one. And do not forget that you are still part of the Church - the rules that the Church follows have been laid down by Jesus himself - if you cannot recieve the communion it is because the Bible says:

**Let each one, then, examine himself before eating of the bread and drinking from the cup. Otherwise, he eats and drinks his own condemnation in not recognizing the Body. This is the reason why so many among you are sick and weak and several have died. If we examined and corrected ourselves, the Lord would nothave to exercise judgment against us. The Lord’s strokes are to correct us, so that we may not becondemned with this world. (2 Corinthians 12) **

Yes, Jesus loves you, Jesus wants you to be happy - but that does not mean that he loves and accepts all our actions - a loving mother whose son is going astray might still love him - but she will not be rejoicing that he has gotten into a bad company - she will forgive but she will cry.**

closed #8

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.