Hello! I have my lovely boyfriend. Few months ago we had a problem with purity. Now while I back to God I am trying to do everything best to not to have mortal si, but sometimes it’s too hard. I went confession 2 days ago and I told myself that if I met him I would not provoke him to impure feelings. But yesterday we had few situations when he tried to kiss me for example on neck and I didn’t want it. He kissed me on stomach and I let him do this, because we was lying uncomfortable and I didn’t know so much that he want kiss me. I just wanted to avoid that situation so I kept my phone and didn’t provoke him I wish. I regret it because I want to live purely. I regret impure situations because I feel it was wrong to start too early. He told me yesterday that he try to not behave impure but sometimes he can’t. I tried to do it pure,but yes sometimes I kissed him and felt something like ‘butterflies’ but I swear I wanted be pure… I prayed before our meeting to Jesus for saving us… But if I provoked him… I kissed him to mouth and kept his hand and held him… Have we mortal sin? Or not… I know it’s hard question but now I can’t ask any priest… Thank you for every answer!
Okay as a 19 y/o in a relationship, I can totally relate. Here’s my take: You said you didn’t want it, and you said that you wanted to live purely. If he knows this, and still kissed you in this manner, you need to reconsider your relationship because he’s the one leading you to sin.
Holding hands and kissing in a relationship is not sinful as far as I’m aware. I think kissing in places other than the mouth is questionable because it’s less of a display of love/affection and more of a display of lust. You can and should kiss. You can and should hold hands!
On the topic of impure thoughts… What you call “the butterflies” doesn’t sound very sexual to me, but I don’t know. It is very very difficult, but you need to refrain from sexual thoughts while kissing. This is nearly impossible while making out, so I think only a peck or a very short kiss is ever really appropriate before marriage.
Look if he’s kissing you when you don’t want it, this is a bad sign for the relationship, especially if he knows this. If he can’t control himself, as he says, then he doesn’t sound ready to be in a dating relationship
The bottom line is this: If you’ve done anything that leads you to entertain impure thoughts, then it is a mortal sin. If you’re dating someone who causes you to sin mortally, rethink things.
I will note that you must take responsibility for a sin that you commit, but also avoid situations and people that lead you to sin.
Thank you for your answer.
I was trying to not do anything wrong but as a sinful human you know… I very regret that I am provoking to him but also I am angry that he knows what I think about impurity and he still… But he has big heart even everything…
I pray every Sunday at Church about us.
I wish I can still go to Communion. If no, okay.
If you are going to engage in these behaviors, then you need to be able to talk to your priest about them.
Talking to strangers on the internet is not a substitute for telling the priest in Confession if you think something might be a sin. We can’t really determine if something is a sin for you or not. Only the priest in confession can do that.
Regarding your boyfriend, if you don’t want him to kiss you and he is insisting on doing so anyway, then you have a problem because your boyfriend is not respecting your wishes. “He can’t” is not an excuse. Your boyfriend may have nice qualities but he seriously needs to learn to control himself better when he is around you. If he can’t do that, then the two of you shouldn’t be alone together until your boyfriend learns to better control himself. He should not be pushing you into situations that make you uncomfortable. And if laying around together is making him so excited he feels like he needs to kiss you, then you should find something else to do that doesn’t lead to those feelings.
I know tuat forum is not as good as confession but I had to go to confession 2 days ago and now I havent got occasion. I feel I have mortal sin and sometimes I feel I may have not it.
And what about my boyfriend
He is big-hearted and awesome sometimes. He is worried while I am sad, he smiles when I am smiling, I love him even. But sometimes I know he would behave different. Ii like to hold his hand or kiss his lips delicately. But I dont like when he touch my neck too much etc even he knows I dont want it. But sometimes he can stop do this. I am praying of him everytime. And I wish God hear it and help us even its hard situation… But as you can see sometimes its hard to recognize so I am looking for help
Thank for answer
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