Have you been uncharitable on this forum?


#1

Do you think there are instances of unkindness on this forum? Anywhere on the forum? Can you come up with an example without pointing a finger at a specific poster? Perhaps you might identify subject matter to give the reader a hint or maybe a thread to review.

The intent of the question is to identify situations where one thinks questionable motives may have been hastily used in the course of lively debate. I suspect it may lead to a good discussion on the nature and interpretation of uncharitable responses. I do not wish to encourage accusations nor re-enforce a previous point nor to bash anyone’s opinion. I’m very curious if there are contra-opinions to various points made here to the extent the disagreeing party (or observer) may even think a sin has been committed.

At the very least, I think your responses might uncover a deeper and interesting diversity of views on this forum and perhaps surprise many. I would also ask that you consider the offending post truly unpleasant to the extent it goes beyond a mistake or poorly informed opinion.

I think the difficulty of this question might be in maintaining the anonymity of the specific post you are referring to. Thus I would encourage generalities as opposed to specifics. Finally, I may be totally off base here and already understand why this thread is largely ignored once read.


#2

Gee, PeterC, you sound a little bit like me.

You are obviously analyzing something, perhaps to create a certain theory or to identify for yourself what constitutes good behavior, and/or how “bad” behavior can contribute to the forum?

The difficulty in answering you is it’s hard for me to understand what you are looking for in terms of responses. Many of us see frequent examples of possible “uncharitable” responses, my own excepted of course! :stuck_out_tongue:

One thing I think is inflammatory is when comparisons are drawn to assumed universally agreed evil entities such as Hitler. These comparisons are often valid and can even be useful, but unless the person whose idea is being compared to Hitler-think is quite mature, it is practically a given they will bristle.

When making such a comparison, it helps if part of what you want to do is get the other person angry, and you aren’t angry yourself. That way you maintain control. If you want to play fair, you first hint at the thinking you object to in the abstract as being problematic, “if I understand you correctly” or even “if I didn’t know better” and the like in terms of disclaimer. Then if the person persists, escalate it saying, "gee, I still don’t know, how does your assertions differ from those the were making?

If you don’t want to play fair, just make a vague generalization and say, “this reminds me of the way Hitler talked about the Jews” and leave it wide open for interpretation. When asked for clarification (usually in an indignant tone) just become smug, avoid any real explanation, and make some vague remark that essentially repeats the connection with evil without a clue as to why. Example, “no, it’s just that I didn’t expect you to look at it that way” or “if you can’t figure it out then I don’t know how I can explain it.”

Or is this anything like what you were looking for? I have started threads I thought would be fascinating and nobody hardly posted. I’ll be watching for your response. :slight_smile:

Alan


#3

Alan …

Thanks for your response. Actually what I asked for turned out to be quite a bit different then what I was originally looking for. I interpreted a specific response (different thread) to be actually sinful. I wrote the post with that original (responsive) thought in mind. I did extensive editing before posting the version you read. The original language was more specific to my knee-jerk reaction.

I’m glad I paused before I posted. What I was looking for, I found. But I did not really know what I was looking for until you wrote it. I just knew I had a nagging feeling and felt compelled to write something. What I learned was that graduating persuasion is not uncharitable.


#4

Yes. I try not to though. I enjoy very much reading other’s take on issues and I can pretty much agree with what they are saying or at least see a valid point. And then if the argument starts making personal attacks, against me or anyone, I will give my two cents. I have been uncharitable and I regret it.

Sometimes when I feel the next response is going to be “told you so!! NEENER NEENER NEENER.” , it cracks me up and I realise how stupid it is to fight. “Did so” “Did not!”


#5

[quote=PeterC]What I learned was that graduating persuasion is not uncharitable.
[/quote]

Could you expand on what you mean by “graduating persuasion?”

Here’s how clueless I am – is “graduating” an adjective or a verb in this context?

Alan


#6

Yes, I regret that I just wished I could wipe my dirty hands off on Scott Lafrance’s shirt. That was uncharitable and I am sorry.

What I meant to say was I was looking for JimO. :smiley:


#7

Not yet. I haven’t been here long. But I confessed a couple last weekend in the confessional just so I had a jump on when I do. :).


#8

There have been times on the Terri forum that I could have been better:nope: Also, in dealing with abortion issues:nope: I must admit as well that some hostile forces that have posted here and attacked Mary, I started posting huge pictures of our Lady to make a point:ehh:


#9

[quote=AlanFromWichita]Could you expand on what you mean by “graduating persuasion?”

Here’s how clueless I am – is “graduating” an adjective or a verb in this context?

Alan
[/quote]

Gee Alan you sure stumped me on that one. I guess I should have thought out my response more thoroughly. By using the term “graduating” I was trying to impart the transitive sense. See how much I know? I truly thought your examples were showing me how one might elevate the intensity of a disagreeable discussion. Now you have me wondering if I really understood your response. Some day I hope I will learn how to participate better than it seems I can today. How did you learn such an effective technique and how might I?


#10

…in these forums… say it ain’t so…:nope:

http://www.drag-gear.com/pool/images/pd05.jpg


#11

http://www.keltawebconcepts.com.au/clipart/sciencefiction/Mutant%20Creature%20146.gif

Now that you ask…
uhh
yeahh…
Does an apology to all those concerned
cover past and future offenses
Or
Do I need to go to confession?


#12

Yes I have been uncharitable on these forums. Not when it comes to religion I don’t think… but in the political threads during the election when I felt like people were here just to stir things up - yes. Also, there was a thread about being a vegan & I picked on the entire state of Louisiana - most unkind & a fellow poster who hails from that great state set me straight. :o I also can get upset with the evolution threads… so I try to avoid them.

Someone was once very unkind to me - totally uncalled for because I was actually defending him but he called me names & told me to “butt out and mind your own business” which I thought was mean. I mean HELLO? You’ve posted on a public forum - everyone has a right to chime in… what a grump. I’m also still ticked at the guy who called me an “uneducated Catholic” because I wasn’t familar with some Bishop during WWII. This - two weeks after I joined the Church. Not nice. :tsktsk:


#13

When I first joined here I was doing my best to learn, and in my first forum I got a LOT of “your church is invalid” “your priesthood is invalid” “your Eucharist is invalid”. That is NOT cool behavior. All it did was get me REALLY irritated at Catholic (yeah, I know, that was a little prejudice on my part, and my getting nasty back didn’t help the situation any)


#14

Not that I recall. However, I have only been here a short time (so give me time). I have to laugh at the question though, because we have a forum on our local news web site that I have posted on for a while. It gets qiute heated at times and especially during the last election. I remember telling one very annoying person to “shove it” and then blaming it on Teresa Kerry’s bad example. :wink:


#15

I’ve seen lots of “uncharitableness.” People get into arguments over moral and especially political things and get very angry and start to insult and mock each other and call people names. I feel they often say horrible things about people. I also admit to doing this.


#16

[quote=siamesecat]I’ve seen lots of “uncharitableness.” People get into arguments over moral and especially political things and get very angry and start to insult and mock each other and call people names. I feel they often say horrible things about people. I also admit to doing this.
[/quote]

Maybe it’s because I am new but I haven’t noticed this at all. Can you find an example of a thread that exemplifies these charges so I can read them for myself?

Thank you in advance.

Terri


#17

To some, you will be uncharitable if you are not in lockstep with their position. If that is the case, then Yes, I have been purposely uncharitable.

However, saying that, I try to be as charitable as possible.

PF


#18

I try not to be. I believe I was a little uncharitable towards Michael Jackson in one thread a few months ago. If I’ve ever been truly uncharitable toward someone, I’m sorry. Usually if someone attacks me, I just do not respond back.

I think disagreeing with someone can be done charitably. However, I have seen some pretty awful name calling and viscious attacks that I thought were very uncharitable. I have seen it when the subject is political, about homosexuality/abortion, and in the Terri forums.


#19

I’m afraid that I am sometimes.

I know that we all have different talents and there are some questions which I cannot get my mind around no matter how often others offer explanations :confused: But still when there is a topic where I feel comfortable and knowledgeable I tend to loose patience with others to may not quite see it my way …I’m an arrogant man

I tend to loose patience with the repetitive questions……I realize that there are hundreds of millions of Catholics and maybe billions of people worldwide who have access to the web, so each of the many threads on similar questions may be legitimate first timers looking for information but sometimes………one more “sola scriptura” or “why to Catholics worship Mary” thread and I may just go up on the roof with the high powered rifle :mad:

Also the self-styled orthodox that post in large Fonts or bold colors and suggest that certain topics shouldn’t even be discussed because “real” Catholics would do that also kinda get my goat….I’ll discus anything I like thank you….charitably of course :wink:

But I try to be good.
There are a lot of web sites out there where people are rude and offensive as a matter of course.
Even with its (and my) flaws this place is a haven


#20

[quote=Steve Andersen]I’m afraid that I am sometimes.

I know that we all have different talents and there are some questions which I cannot get my mind around no matter how often others offer explanations :confused: But still when there is a topic where I feel comfortable and knowledgeable I tend to loose patience with others to may not quite see it my way …I’m an arrogant man

I tend to loose patience with the repetitive questions……I realize that there are hundreds of millions of Catholics and maybe billions of people worldwide who have access to the web, so each of the many threads on similar questions may be legitimate first timers looking for information but sometimes………one more “sola scriptura” or “why to Catholics worship Mary” thread and I may just go up on the roof with the high powered rifle :mad:

Also the self-styled orthodox that post in large Fonts or bold colors and suggest that certain topics shouldn’t even be discussed because “real” Catholics would do that also kinda get my goat….I’ll discus anything I like thank you….charitably of course :wink:

But I try to be good.
There are a lot of web sites out there where people are rude and offensive as a matter of course.
Even with its (and my) flaws this place is a haven
[/quote]

Surely STEVE I Haven’t a CLUE What You ARE refering to:confused: Hey,I believe we met on TERRIS FORUM:eek: :tsktsk: :tsktsk: :eek:


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