Have you ever suffered from bullying?

BVM,

Guys, I need to vent and open my heart. For this past year and a half, I was dealing with a very intense depression that made me feel really bad about myself as a person, made me lose sleep and even gave me suicidal thoughts. Thing is, I recently truly found out what was causing it: cyber bullying. I was always engaging in debates with militant atheists and I found myself becoming really depressed after each debate. At first, I thought it was my fault; I felt that I was a bad person and that there was no way either God and Mary could love someone like me. But then Mary gave me a bombshell and made me realize that I wasn’t the monster that I thought I was; in fact, I wasn’t a bad person at all and I got over this dangerous self loathing by believing and forgiving myself.

One thing that I thought made me depressed was the constant research I was doing on Church history, searching out even the smallest of details in order to be open minded. I would pull all-nighters just googling away and lost a lot of sleep because of that and now, I have insomnia. Whoopee. Aside from my health, it also made me sad how I knew so little about the dark stuff people in the Church committed. But I also learned a lot of good things about the Church at that time and how things like the Crusades and the Inquisition weren’t that bad and did a lot of good. Even after that, I felt depressed and this is why I made this thread: thinking about all of my loathsome experiences debating these kinds of people, I found a pattern with their arguments, a pattern the ‘bigger atheists’ they are fans of like Hitchens and Dawkins also share with them: they would always insult me, put me down and even outright lie when it came to doing research.

I already said in another thread how I put a stop to a debate with a woman who was always repeating the same nonsense stuff and was always insulting me, calling my religion disgusting and saying that I shouldn’t have kids. Because I matured considerably at that time, I told her to shove it, to leave me alone and blocked her. But I also had to experience a bully who would check my comments on you tube and reply to them in a disparaging manner (comments that had nothing to do with religion BTW; he would even reply to comments about my personal tastes in music and anime). I found that no matter what I told him, he wouldn’t listen so I reported him and you tube put a stop to his malicious activities. I even had to deal with some jerk who made a video ‘refuting me’ over some comments I made on one of his videos. After replying on it and telling him that I couldn’t care less for his opinions on me and that I didn’t even bother watching the video, he tried to make it sound as if I was the one at fault for even bothering to reply, implying that I was the one who was obsessed. It made me really angry frankly and I did insult him back but he continued on making me feel bad about myself and telling me that I ‘need to learn a lesson’. Those are his exact words BTW. I blocked him also so as to avoid anymore nutjobs.

I’m saying all this because these were things that really made me depressed and because I don’t want anyone else to suffer like I did. During those times, I tried hard to make myself think that these people were being objective and I was confused as to whether they had the right to treat me like that. They didn’t. At all. I’ve engaged in innocent and civil talks with atheists but those people were FAR from being civil. There is a huge diffirence between what you really are and what others pretend or want you to be. Don’t let anyone trample over you and avoid people who do not take you seriously.

I have a lot of anger inside me over how I was decieved into hating myself. After experiencing so much vitriol I still sometimes doubt how people will look at me or whether they will like me if they saw me in person and I still doubt how my approach to things is good. What do you guys think? If I had to say something more, it is to avoid at all costs in insulting your opponent or trying to make him feel bad about himself. There’s a diffirence between pointing out that fetuses are still human and abortion deprives them of that right to live, and a diffirence between calling someone evil.

For Lent, I gave up scrolling to the comments section when I’m on line…:smiley:
Just kidding, but I really learned the hard way to avoid even reading the comments on most things, especially if the site was one where it notified me via email that someone replied to my comment etc.

That’s the exact reason why I gave up Facebook for Lent. People can get very mean from behind the safety of a computer screen. It’s sad because I doubt these people would say any of these hateful things in person. It just serves to break down human civility, in my opinion.

One thing that I’ve learned over the years: The chances of changing someone’s mind over the internet is about 0%. What kind of amusing about this is that we all realize this, yet when we go on the internet we hope for something different.

The problems arise when we let it get to us. Don’t let someone’s else bad attitude ruin your day. I think we all have that learning curve in online social media, and we eventually find that balance.

People will use unfair methods of arguing all the time, although the intensity of unfairness varies. Ad hominems, exaggerations, strawmen. Also, plenty, plenty of people just can’t read with understanding. And even those who can do so, can still get completely hooked on an initial misunderstanding of your words. Some others are just arguing against whatever they want to put in your mouth. And yes, they will accuse you of doing any or all of that, including popular guilt trips like the stupid argument trying to equate your opposition to abortion with supposed accusations against the affected women or whomever. I’d use stronger words to describe the quality of that argument but I promised not to swear during Lent.

You need to keep your sanity, don’t get into those debates when you can’t hold it. Get a book or two about communication or spefically about debating (topis like being assertive, holding your ground without insulting others, identifying unfair arguments and calling people on them, resisting guilt trips and other trips). Perhaps brush up on formal logic and get some practice in propositional calculus and syllogism if you really want to keep dissecting things with people, you might as well get proficient in it in a more friendly setting before the big, messy waters.

Sometimes I need detox after the CAF here. Like staying away for a couple of days. Or months. Bee herb isn’t bad, either.

Hey :slight_smile:

Next time the commenters say mean things about you point out that they are actually committing a logical fallacy called ad hominem! Since they are so obsessed about using “reason” they are in fact abusing it when they attack you instead of using logical arguments.

My advice for you? Why don’t you take a break from social media websites? Perhaps these people are very bitter and hold alot of anger, especially to God. Let God deal with them. Pray for them and just hope that oneday they can encounter Him. There’s so much we can do, so many times we can debate but at the end it’s all up to Him. If this is making you depressed and sad, just let go of it. Do not feel worthless, God loves you and wants YOU to be happy. If this is making you unhappy, focus your energy on something else!

God bless you.

the others have addressed the logic part of your problem so I wont talk about that. To deal the resultant anger, try finding a good stress reliever and also a simple meditation of offering up your anger for those people as a prayer for their souls and hearts, that God will change their hearts and souls to bring them closer to Himself. Maybe what you should do for Lent is do little sacrifices for their souls, like instead of engaging with them step away from the computer for a time and say a prayer for them.

I hope my two cents of advice help you.

God Bless you, embrace you and hold onto you forevermore.

Kim

Pearls before swine and all of that…

Thanks everyone for the response. In all seriousness hsmomforlife, I think I will give up reading comments on you tube for lent just to clear my mind up. Thanks:).

youtube is generally ridiculous when it comes to comments. People will find a reason to dislike and/or criticize anything. It’s the reason why some people simply disallow comments on the videos they upload.

Cyber bullying??? cmon man…

Unless you are a young naive teenager, you should not be a victim of “cyber bullyng.” Why even waste your time debating with them online? What do you really think you are going to accomplish?Just do you, and try to be a good example to the people God brings into your life. I guarantee you will change more hearts that way.

I used to be a young naive teen and payed for it dearly. Maybe more than anything else though, what bothers me is that I’m scared that even when I’m not debating or saying anything that has to do with religion, I still meet with people who pick on me for petty reasons. I’m scared more than anything else that I’ll be demonized by them and that other people will not like me for false reasons.

You are welcome…I’m glad my pain and realization could help someone else…:wink:
Oh, and don’t just give up YouTube comments…stay off HuffPost too!LOL!! :D;)

If youre debating with people openly then you must have some confidence brother. It sounds like maybe you have some anxiety issues. If so, its okay. But get that under control before it hinders you more than it already has. Medicine, counseling, etc…

I never thought about it that way. To be frank, I think I have a low level of confidence and the more I dig deeper into myself the more flawed I find myself to really be and I get really scared that I will never become the kind of guy who everyone likes. I made some decisions that screwed me over like not entering college when I had the chance because I entered some insane sedevacantist cult I found on the internet (don’t ask, I’m glad I dropped that atrocious stupidity). At the same time, I still want to become that sort of guy not because society wants me to but because I really want to find my own path in life and fullfill my dreams. Maybe my thought process can be summed up as wanting to be accepted despite my flaws and encouraged to be a good person becaue in the end, I don’t think I’m a monster, far from it.

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