Having serious doubts!


#1

I have searched and tried to serve
God for as long as I can remember
I served in the religion of my parents, Jehovah’s witness.
And my own personal search lead me to the Catholic church under
the bishop of rome. I have been baptised Catholic for 2 months and something is wrong!

First of all I was in a terrible situation with the Jehovah’s witness’s, it was obviously not Lead by God because they couldn’t
even get there own theology correct. It left me in bad shape financialy-emotionaly-spiritualy.

I went through rcia, alone mostly.
my sponsor came mabey 2 times
in the whole year. And my sponsor
didn’t even know I was in rcia till
the last minuet. Keep in mind that
I needed more help then anyone there, because everyone had someone sitting with them and helping them learn. And my sponsor didn’t even know I was there.

But I didn’t care because I knew God would take care of me, I thought mabey God had a reason
for me being there alone.

I got baptised started going to mass daily and just trying my hardest to figure out how to do
rosary’s and what days were holy
days etc…

But nothing has changed, I am in just as bad shape as I was with Jehovah’s witness. That’s impossible! I actualy have prayed
to the Holy Trinity, took communion, said rosary’s. SOMETHING should be better then
when I was in a cult. I wake up woundering how Im getting through the day spiritualy, the second I wake up I feel just as disappointed and tierd spiritualy as
I was when I went to sleep.

I am just so tierd, I am Catholic but dependent on Jehovah’s witness’s…what sence dose that
make? None.
Something is wrong, and I am tierd of spending my whole life trying to figure out why my search
for God seems to be destroying my
current life.

acording to the bible this is impossible. You canot seek first the kingdom and have nothing.
What I see in my life goes against
every scripture that assured me
that God would see me through.

So then what am I to think?
Keep on suffering? Use what little
spiritual energy I have left to look
into the Orthodox or Judaism or islam? Im realy tierd of this.
Just thought I would post what’s going on, it couldn’t hurt.


#2

Prayers for you.

Seek out the fellowship of your Catholic community.

If you are a man, Knights of Columbus is almost everywhere!

For women, every Parish has some kind of women’s fellowship group.

Look in your bulletin for a Bible Study Group, Prayer Group, Adult formation group, small faith sharing group - find that fellowship you need.


#3

You don’t magically become better when you join a religion, or anything for that matter. Healing takes time and effort. I encourage you to seek out a doctor, who should be able to help you out with depression and stress and all that.


#4

Welcome Home! You are on a life long journey seeking a closer relationship to God, and switching faith traditions will not give you a short cut. You have made a good start by daily Mass attendence and praying the rosary; faithfullness is a key here. In my parish, those who receive the sacraments at Easter are invited to return to the RCIA the next year and many do; they report that repeating the RCIA process gives them a more complete perspective now that they are Catholic.


#5

Me, too :wink:

Me, too :wink: I didn’t have a sponsor at all. My dh is a revert, cradle Catholic, and attended RCIA w/me. But his faith knowledge was still in it’s infancy.

At lease you had one, see my above comments.

Me, either. God always has a reason, even if we don’t/can’t see it.

I made it my Lenten goal one year to learn the Rosary. The internets are wonderful things, lol. And usually in the church bulletin, at the very least, they announce the Holy Days of obligation. In our parish, Father lets us know on Sunday if any are coming up and how he expects to see us. The info is there, we just have to find it.

I am so sorry you feel this way :frowning: You are doing things you should be doing. Do you understand, though, that we need time to deprogram? It was almost like a grieving process for me. Steps I had to take to get away, not only from the mindset, but from being able to quit beating myself up mentally for believing their line of do-do :stuck_out_tongue: in the first place.

In what sense are you still dependent on them? Because of your financial situation while you where one of them? Is your family helping you? If so, then that may be a good thing. That’s what family is for. I’m surprised they haven’t disowned you – are you disfellowshipped? God does provide for us.

Because Satan tears down what God builds. He may see you as easy prey right now. Take heart, and count on God for all things. Those are easy words for me to say. But they so, so work. Please don’t discount them.

How do you have nothing? Do you not have the Truth, and I mean the real Truth, not the truth of the JW’s, of God? That is way more than you had before. This can sustain all the days of your life. Blessings are not always physical or monetary. Blessings are waking up in the morning. Thanking God for bringing you the Catholic Church.

Isn’t that what Jesus did for us? He kept suffering when he didn’t need to. I love telling my CCD kids that he hung there, in excruciating pain for three whole hours. He was tortured and beat before that. What did He think? Did He think it was a waste? NO! He did it for us. To bring us to him. Not for us to hear the Truth and leave it for something more convenient. Faith, especially Catholic faith, is not for our convenience.

Have you seen this site? catholicxjw.com/ I urge you to check it out and contact someone from there. It’s a super, super useful site. You can pm me here, if you like as well.

Prayers for you.


#6

Welcome home! I agree with kage that checking your bulletin for groups is a great way to start. And, ask at the parish office what types of groups are there.

:angel1:


#7

My dear friend

You may have been brainwashed by that cult.

Stop worrying and fretting. Try to just do what you know you ought. Do it for God and not to feel good yourself. God will give you spiritual satisfaction sometimes. look at it as a test. A small test. If you pass these tests you win eternal bliss. I think it best to understand that God sees our whole eternity and loves us throughout that eternity right now. God is crazily in love with you. He can’t live without you. God loves you no matter what and is in complete control. He has your whole life mapped out for you. Just do Gods will and all will be well. Just do your best. Your real problem is a lack of faith. If you had stronger faith you would not be worrying now. Like me we all need to pray much for more faith and these little trials will diminish. Trust God and all will be well. He is infinitely perfect and does all infinitely perfectly. Your going to be ok. Let go of all the fear, doubts and worries and just love God and do your best to please Him no matter how you feel.

God bless you and I’ll pray for you:thumbsup::slight_smile:
John


#8

Stay the course. I recommend you get a good Catholic edition Bible and read it daily. Think about St. Peter and the waves and his moment of fear.

Also, keep in mind that you are going to be tempted to give up. You were called for a reason, we all are. Try to find out what that is. Find a way to give to others.

My two cents.


#9

I like what Ali_FormerJW says.

And here’s a quote I came across yesterday that I personally like:

**“We must be willing to get rid of
the life we’ve planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed
before the new one can come.”
– Joseph Campbell. **

Praying for you. :angel1:

And if you ever want to talk by Private Message, please feel welcome to drop me a line. I was never a JW myself, but had a friend who was (and kept it secret from me for years … it was a long distance friendship).

~~ the phoenix


#10

You’ve been damaged by the JWs- I know what kind of damage they can do- I’ve seen lots of families mangled by them.
.DO NOT BE AFRAID! This is a very tough and brave thing you are doing.Of course you are stressed &depressed- this is not an unusual thing.this is a time of testing and being refined like gold.This is a process you are going through- it’s not easy but It will be worth it.Hold tight to the teachings given you.honestly switching your religion again would be of no help because the struggle is within you.Baptism and the sacraments are not magic- and will not cure you instantly You are still struggling with your past, your intellect knows the truth but your heart is hurting. The kingdom of God is within you just like the peace of Christ is within you. I understand what separating from JW’s means to you and your relationship and friendship you might have had there.It’s all gone.You must feel adrift and alone.But you are not. You have the whole Body of Christ behind you as well as the Communion of Saints. I know that is cold comfort but try to endure. after all you’ve endured years of JW theology:p.Know that I’m praying for you as I believe many on this forum. There is an ex- jehovah witness turned catholic group out there- try www.catholicxjw.com I think that someone there may be able to help you - you and they have much in common.
God Bless and hang in there!


#11

Take everyone else’s advice, and keep praying. Find fellowship with good Catholics in your area. Pray the Holy Rosary, and say the prayer to St. Michael the Archangel. Don’t allow yourself to become discouraged. Know that you are very special to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and always implore His help when you feel tempted to despair.


#12

:thumbsup:

You don’t magically get better emotionally, and you don’t magically become more sanctified, or more disciplined, or more holy .

RCIA was a gate, not the ends. Now that you are in the Church, you have a wealth of tools available. You could spend a lifetime doing nothing but praying and meditating on the writings of the saints.

There is wealth of enrichment and spiritual food before you that can be yours when you learn to feed yourself, but the first lesson is to figure out what will feed you spiritually. Don’t despair. Everything you need is here. All you have to do is figure out how to get the nourishment into your soul. (And sometimes, instead of feeding yourself, you enrich yourself through giving. Have you found a way to give? Paradoxically, it may enrich you.)


#13

Believe it or not, I have already tried. I have been at this for 2 years, seeking out fellowship…
looking in bulletins…thinking about knights of columbus.

So…most stuff in any bulletin or group was happening while I was at work.

I was a well known Jw. standing outside of stores collecting for charities, would not be wise.

Do you not believe that if it is Gods
will for you to take a course of action, that it would be made possible to do so SUCCESSFULLY?


#14

What do you mean, “would not be wise?” :confused:

Most people work during the week. There are opportunities for fellowship and learning and growth outside of the work week.

I guess I am not understanding what you perceive the problem to be. “If it is God’s will for you to take a course of action, that it would be made possible to do so”. What is God preventing you from doing?

The Catholic Church may not have the structure you are used to in the JWs, with people taking very paternalistic roles in guiding others. Maybe that is what you were expecting?
Generally, that’s because it’s a more healthy institution, and believes people are free to socialize and get involved as they see fit, and don’t need to have someone managing them.


#15

This is not about magic.This is not
about eliminating basic human emotions that everyone has.

It is important not to get of track.

Miracles happen all the time,you have heard of fatima…saints doing
humanly impossible things. God is
very capable of making his will
possible to accomplish.

I don’t believe depression is a NORMAL part of my personality.
Negative emotions…stress, are natural alarms that something is wrong.

When I have what I need to accomplish Gods will, I am fine.

I was ok when nothing abnormal
was happening, even in a cult.
So why then would I not be ok
in the true Church with all my needs cared for?

So this is not about an emotion,
but a situation causing an emotion.


#16

When the Lord Jesus set His face towards Jerusalem, what was the outcome of that? Success? Yes, but only after His Passion. The Lord doesn’t promise us success in this life, but He does promise to be with us in our joys and in our trials and life with Him forever because of fidelity to Him whatever the circumstances of our lives.

If your own parish doesn’t have groups or activities that fit in with your schedule, then check out what’s going on in neighboring parishes.


#17

I was working 3rd shift, like six days a week 12 hour shifts. There
were not opportunities, trust me I
called churches asking if there was
anything. I got dumb answers like
"this isn’t your parish, you can only do stuff in your own parish."

I would explain that I was Jw, trying to get out…etc…etc…
And one lady said " Oh gee goly!
mabey you should just stay there!"

Dose that sound “Healthy” to you?
Just an institution where everyone
Is so healthy they can’t help much.
Sounds to me like people just don’t know what they are doing.

Its hard to explain a cult to someone, so by “not wise”…let
me explain it this way.

If you had a violent and abusive husband, that would kill you for
leaving him. would it be wise to
flirt with other men in public?
Going out on dates with them?
What happens when your husband
finds out?

To get out of that, you need protection. You need some sort of help because this man is stronger
then you. Just like me, you need a way out.

What if people were as ignorant about abusive men, as they are about cults? Then what would you
do? Call a church and listen to a
lady tell you to stay with him.
Or someone say our institution
dosent realy get that involved, we
do what we have to then go home.

Then you would have no alternative then to pray. Would you not expect some way out to be
made known after prayer, after you did everything you could think of?


#18

As someone who suffers from depression you are right to hear alarms- depression is just like any other disease- there is a physical aspect to it that you should address .Have you been to the doctor-therapist? there are meds out there. If you’ve been feeling this way for 2 yrs- you are in a major depression.You suffered a loss- your past is dead-that is a hard thing,And even though there is a sense of liberation being out of it you are still out of something that has been a part of your life for a very long time.This is a stressor, unconscious probably, but still there.I know with me one stress leads into any other. I felt very abandoned by God when I was midst of depression- nothing gave me pleasure- it was like part of me was dead. I couldn’t pray- it was very difficult- He was not listening to me.Or that’s what I thought. God’s helpers and aides to His people don’t have to be in a religious realm- doctors Can also be part of God’s team. God 's knowledge is given to doctors therapists to help and aid us -we are not abandoned- help is out there.All Knowledge is from God-and doctors are there to help His people with the God given knowledge the doctor has learned. God’s territory is the whole Earth and everything and everyone within it- not just church…Seek out those in the medical sphere to help you. A depressed mental state can cause a spiritual problem- so the mental state has to be dealt with first.
God Bless and Good Luck!


#19

I wondered the same thing ???

I understand where you are coming from – I’m confused about why you would be standing outside collecting for charities ??? Did I miss something :confused:

How well know were you? I was very active in our congregation, went on quick build’s for KH’s, axillary pioneered, had Bible studies, I did it all. I was even threatened at my work by an elder with being disfellowshipped if I did not cease and desist with my actions.

But you know what, I came to the conclusion that I am strong enough (with God’s help) to do what I need to do to make me spiritually healthy. It may be difficult. I may not be able to associate with friends I had for years, mentors, even. But where I am now is such a better place.

Now I’m not ashamed to say out loud that I AM CATHOLIC I don’t try to rush in the door at church hoping JW’s aren’t driving by and see me. I don’t hide from my Mom (still a JW) that we have Mass or that Q received his 1st Holy Communion this year. I have stood up and owned this! D*mn consequences, God is backing me up on this.

I had to put myself out there to make contacts. You meet stupid people everywhere. Put the ones you’ve met in the Church behind you and move on. Perhaps God has wonderful things in store for you, but must first test your faithfulness to him?? How are we to know? All we can know for sure is that God has called us home. And I am not leaving. Will you?


#20

To me, it sounds like you probably do need some professional help with both depression and with getting free from the cult mindset.

As for how people have reacted to you, I think you are expecting too much from chance encounters. People are just people. How a person speaks to you on the telephone of your parish is not a sign from God. It sounds like it is too easy for you to go into a bitter and helpless mindset when people don’t give you what you need the first time you ask, and that just indicates your emotional vulnerability right now.

There is one thing you can do right now to help yourself. Look for a Catholic therapist with experience dealing with people who have been in cults, and/or a spiritual director. If you have a very specific request in mind when you call a local parish, you will probably have better luck getting what you need. You might explain you want one on one counseling to help deal with the effects of transitioning out of the JWs, and need to feel more emotionally connected to your Catholic community.

I believe that if you keep looking, and don’t give up, you WILL find someone who can help right now. But, even so, there is a larger lesson here for you, and that is that you are seeing the world through a particular lens and viewpoint that tells you that you are shut off from everyone and disconnected and cannot get what you need. As you slowly learn to discard that perspective, you may find you feel more content and connected in the Catholic church than you could have imagined.


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