I have a good friend, who is Catholic like me. Over some months, she has become in favor of gay marriage. Her reasons seem to be largely emotional - she saw a YouTube video about a gay man being denied inheritance and visitation to the funeral when his partner of several years died. All her other reasons are the same things you hear over and over - two adults doing nothing to hurt anyone, who are we to say what a marriage is, etc. She knows what the Church’s position is on this. When the ruling happened, our priest gave a homily telling the truth of the matter - she said she was so offended that she walked out. (I did not hear exactly what Fr. said at that particular homily because we attended different masses that week.)
My responses were:
- Marriage is about unity and procreation; with a same-sex couple (SSC) there is no biological chance whatsoever for children.
- For thousands of years marriage has been defined as between a man and woman, it is not wise to allow current pop culture to dictate morality.
- The argument that two consenting adults “in love” is all it takes to make a marriage is flawed; what is a consenting father is in love with his consenting daughter, should they be allowed to marry?
- Interracial marriage is completely different from SSM; the two are apples and oranges - you are still comparing a heterosexual marriage to a homosexual marriage.
- Homosexual acts are explicitly condemned in the New Testament and Catechism; by making your own choice on the matter you are in effect starting your own religion, where you are replacing God’s Word with your own ideas.
- Churches will be sued over this issue - it is inevitable. She had also not heard of the Sweetcakes lawsuit in Oregon.
After rehashing all of this as we had in the past, I finally said that I didn’t enjoy discussing this topic with her. We both get pretty heated and it has caused hurt feelings in the past. I told her that there was absolutely no changing my mind on the issue and that I doubted hers would change either (of course praying it does). She goaded me a bit, saying I couldn’t handle deep thinking, and liked to discuss issues only with people who agree with me. This is not true; I have been defending the Church’s teachings for years and would continue to, but I just feel that the methods employed are not fruitful in this situation. Maybe it’s selfish of me, but we went over for dinner and drinks and to let the kids play and I was in the mood for a relaxing evening. As I said, we have had this same argument many times.
So was I wrong in putting an end to it? I know that now is more important than ever to stand up and vocalize what we believe. I want to stress that I have no problem with that! I will always defend the Church loudly and boldly. In this situation though, it’s more like arguing for the sake of arguing - she is a lawyer and loves this stuff.
Thoughts? Also please pray for my friend and me!