Having trouble surrendering to God. Help?


Hi everyone,

Well, I’ve been struggling for the past couple of weeks. First of, I’m sixteen years old, still in high school. I’ve been going through some very rough things with friends. My ex-boyfriend is claiming the Church is full of lies, it’s a waste of time, and God dosen’t exist. He’s being very mean to me because I believe what I do. Also, my best friend is completely materialistic. She goes on and on and on about fancy food, clothes, and whatever. She makes me feel bad because she ridicules me about my less-nice things. Both of these situations are very recent. They were very good, wholesome people. But now they are being completely out of character.
People keep expecting me to help them. None of my other friends are strong enough to speak up and say something’s wrong, and they’re scared of getting hurt. Their parents are not really in this situation, because these things are going on at school. There’s no one else to turn to but me. So people shoot all the expectations on me.
The only person I can truly depend on these days is God. And He has gotten me through some extrememly rough times in my life. I don’t feel like things are working out, because things keep messing up. I feel like all these problems are up to me, but I’m too weak to deal with them. They’re tearing me up inside. I have no human person I can truly lean on, so I have to lean on God. I pray and pray, but I feel like nothing’s happening, and it’s getting worse. I have no doubt God is going to work things out. I just feel my efforts are for nothing.

Can someone please help me? I know this is long, and I’m sorry. Thank you for reading :slight_smile:



For what its worth, I feel your pain. I’m a 35 year old mom now, but I had a similar experience in high school. Know that this is a time when secular society and its pull is the strongest, especially for teens. There are so many tempting things that seem “cool” but only pull you further away from God and the riches he has stored for you in the future.

God is merciful, but don’t put him to the test by giving in to your friends ideas just to feel closer to them. I know it’s hard, but you seem like a very strong young lady. I gave in to certain temptations when in highscool and I paid the price for it.

One more thing- you’ll meet a lot of adults who are stuck in the same rut as your friends. It’s a spiritual weakness. Stay strong. Pray for you friends, give yourself a little space from them, and you will be a witness of Christ to them.

In Christ through Mary.


Sounds like he has some kind of ax to grind and is trying either to hurt you or to test you to see whether he can still elicit emotion from you.

With friends like this, who needs enemies? Let her know that she needs to respect your boundaries. She knows that even the worst social dork wouldn‘t walk up to a stranger and ridicule their clothing, their lunch or whatever, so what makes her think she‘s cool talking like that to you? Apparently you are someone on whom others rely for help; you could try wearing that mask in order to stand up to her. Come on, N, my shoes aren‘t really the issue, are they? How‘s life treating you? Is something wrong?
Those who keep expecting you to help seem to think you have your act together pretty well. You are within your rights to set boundaries with them, too. That is sometimes easier said than done, so think of boundary assertion as a right you may exercise, not as a duty you must fulfil or be a personal failure.

Your friends have no advantage over you. If they didn‘t feel messed up, if they were as confident as they pretend to be, they wouldn‘t behave like they do. I do believe, though, that God uses different styles with different people. For some, including many saints, His blessing takes the shape of success, the linear and logical fruit of their many talents and efforts. Cause follows effect, they sow and they harvest, though by God‘s help they may reap a hundredfold. For others, blessing follows the pattern of grace. Grace is, well, gratuitous; I don‘t think André Gide‘s story of the philosopher who tried to prove free will by doing two gratuitous acts each day, namely giving one random stranger 500 francs and punching another stranger in the face, is too strong an illustration. Life is riddled with injustices that seem to be without rhyme or reason – friends suddenly turning against you, a bad grade on a project you poured your heart into – yet they are also the reverse side of the stuff miracles are made of, and any degree of acceptance you can muster is a Yes to the God of surprises.

St. Peter, returning from a night of fishing without a catch, couldn‘t have said it better.


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