HBO's Big Love

Does anyone watch this show?? It is about polygamists living outside of the Latter Day Saints church in Utah. I can’t stop watching this show. I wonder how accurate it is. Anyone care to discuss?

No way, no how, no where. The idea of polygamy disgusts me no end.

It dosen’t promote polygamy, it shows all the drama that goes along with that lifestyle.

Sorry - but the very idea makes me sick. Anyway, I can’t afford HBO.

It is a really good show, done really well as only HBO seems able to do. You can do an internet search and read a lot about what Mormons and ex-Mormons think about it. Here is a good article by an ex-Mormon about it:

chrisholmesonline.com/2006/03/28/big-love-the-show-mormons-are-going-to-hate/

Interesting article. The thing about the show that really interests me is the life on the compound. It seems like it has to be exaggerated. I’m really glad the new season has more of that storyline. It’s like living in a foreign country right in the middle of the USA. One thing that I never really understood is how is polygamy illegal?? I’m not saying that it’s right, or anything else, I just don’t get how that can be enforced when there’s no law to prevent people from “shacking up” with as many people as they care to. The other wives are not legally married to the husband, only the first wife. I just don’t understand the enforcement against this one small faction of abnormal behavior.

That’s how all of those “little things” get through, somebody says, “What’s the big deal?”

Polygamy turns my stomach.

God bless,
Ed

I hope I’m not coming across like I’m pro-polygamy. I think it is COMPLETELY WRONG!!! I just don’t understand how the civil authorities decide which depraved domestic situations are legal, and which ones are illegal. It seems to me that if we were comparing apples to oranges, that a homosexual domestic partnership is WAY more against the grain. So why is it that they are almost celebrated in todays culture? Why are there benefits given to partners from places of work? Just basically why is that lifestyle more okay then a polygamist lifestyle?

One other thing I’d like to point out, is I’m not sure if any of this should be illegal. I think we are traveling down a very slippery slope when we let the government makes moral decisions for us, that do not affect safety or the liberty of others. (eg. slavery, abortion, murder, sex with minors… and so on) Who’s to say that one day the government might say that living the Catholic lifestyle is illegal? I think that this describes more of a libertarian view point. Leave the morals to God and his people, and not the government.

Is it completely wrong or not? Why are you so concerned about the government?

Certain “lifestyles” are celebrated by a liberal, left leaning media that very much wants this country to live in its image, likeness and actions. In other words, the handful of companies that own all media get to dictate its contents, and report on celebrities. They apparently want all of us to engage in the “Free Love” espoused by their parents in the late 1960s.

I’m not. The Bible is my guide.

God bless,
Ed

No, not objectively. Yes, the Church is down on it.

Why are you so concerned about the government?

Less government is better government, especially in regards to a a victimless and personal issue such as this.

I’m not. The Bible is my guide.

Polygamy was probably quite common during most of the time covered by the bible.

The poster that you are responding to is not saying,“What’s the big deal?” He simply asked a question that I have wondered myself.

If a man decides to ‘shack up’ with twenty women and have kids with them all, the law would not do a thing.

Its only illegal if the people involved decide to call it a marriage relationship. That seems odd to me.

That isn’t saying that I think that polygamy is moral or wonderful. I think that it is a horrible practice.

But if polygamy is illegal why isn’t living together with a girlfriend or boyfriend not illegal?

And no, I am not saying “What’s the big deal?”

There was a show on one of the cable channels about a man who was married to three wives. It was a reality show and followed the people involved throughout their life.

It was horrible. The women seemed very weak and were competing for the man. I can’t remember the name of the show though.

I did see a documentary in which some of the wives in a polygamous lifestyle discussed how they had to learn to control their emotions and jealousy. They seemed to be swallowing down a lot of inner pain. It was very sad.

When ever the Old Testament talks about family practicing polygamy it is not depicted as the most happy lifestyles.

Joseph’s brothers were all angry and jealous of one another, for example. THe mother of Sammuel, Hannah, was made fun of by her husband’s other wife for not having children. Some of David’s sons turned against him and Solomon was led into idol worship through the influence of foreign wives.

This is a government of the people, for the people and by the people. Looking at things “objectively” without a moral compass means you can steer your ship wherever you want. For a society, that is called anarchy. From a Christian perspective, polygamy is wrong and cohabitation is wrong.

I think cohabitation should be totally discouraged. Why isn’t it illegal is a question for lawmakers.

God bless,
Ed

Try to keep the thread on-topic, please: HBO’s Big Love.
Discuss the show, the characters, the network, the storyline and such.

To discuss the morality of polygamy or the government’s role in prohibiting polygamy search the Social Justice or Moral Theology forums.

Thank you :tiphat:

Angela Tate
CAF Moderator
Popular Media/Evangelization

Amen (and it is a great show). I’m not sure it is quite at the level of The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, or Deadwood but the relational, family, and religious issues are ones we all deal with (though on a much less magnified level).

I wonder if those “sickened” by the loving polygamous relationship enjoy the other HBO series which contain incredibly unloving violence? The unquestioning love demanded of those in this story is a very compelling topic since most of us have trouble with it in a monogamous relationship.

The relationships are not in keeping with the commandments of God. I have watched it and the dynamics are idealized, in my view, to make the lifestyle appealing.

God bless,
Ed

I thought that we were supposed to stay on the topic of the thread and not discuss the morality or theology of polygamy. Maybe we could start a new thread.:slight_smile:

I disagree. I think the show is done very well, as is shown by the whole theme in the opening credits of “skating on thin ice”. Sure… it looks idealized, at first. But, look at all the subtle damage that’s being portrayed as the seasons are going on. The oldest daughter hates her family for not fitting in with normal society and is looking for someone to talk to (and maybe even leave). The other wives can’t be recognized or legitimized in public in any way at all, leading to resentment. The oldest son barely knows how to have a normal relationship with a girl. The father’s chain of home stores is at risk of investigation. The child bride of the compound leader clearly has major problems. It’s all building, and building, and building. If nothing else, the show is showing that underneath the surface, there are major consequences to the lifestyle.

Even though the protagonists in this show are polygamists, I think that this show does not idealize this lifestyle at all. It shows one family trying to make the best of it, and one cult that are sunk into the worst of it. Barb,the “First Wife” in the show only went along with her husbands choice to “return to the fold” after having ovarian cancer, and not being able to have children. Her husband grew up on the compound, and in that lifestyle. She did not come from that background, but only went along with her husband, because she was scared that he would leave her if she didn’t. Now in the show she is seen as the strong one, trying to keep the peace and order. I think deep down she hates living like that, but only did so because she loved her husband, and wanted to stay with him.

And lastly, and no offense. Just because something “sickens you” or makes you uncomfortable does not mean that that thing doesn’t exist. I think it is healthy to discuss these topics to try to understand them, and learn from other peoples mistakes. Now granted this is just a show on TV that is put there for entertainment purposes, but it also raises valid questions about the society the that we live in. I feel like some posters here are upset with this tread because they don’t like polygamy, and are not so subtly saying that I should not be discussing this topic. I hate having to start every response with “I’m not supporting/not Pro-Polygamy” because I’m trying to discuss something that actually exists. I work in a 911 center, and hear awful things happen every day, and just because people don’t discuss them, or avoid them, doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Even thought most of us on here are probably trying to live moral, and sin free lives, doesn’t mean that the rest of the world is. If we are informed on topics, we would be able to give our opinions in a much more charitable way when someone out in the real world either asks our opinion, or is willing to listen to us say our peace.

Sorry if this is rambling, but I’m kind of in a hurry to leave.

Tom

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