He who fights monsters


Ok. Advice needed. I go to a very secular high school, where (as far as I know) I am the only serious scapular wearing, rosary praying, daily mass attending, vocation discerning Catholic. I reverted from a pathetic Agnosticism at the end of my freshman year, and have been deeply involved with apologetics. I (think) I know most of my stuff, (Summa to Everlasting Man to Mere Christianity), but I think I have a problem.

Faith in itself was so hard for me to get, and I feel the need to spread it. All the same though, the more time I debating (online and in school) I feel as if I am wadding deeper and deeper in a pool of muck. I have yet to find any one person who can actually debate back, but I feel that spending to much time on apologetics is hurting my faith, like it is reducing it into a formula.


I don’t think there are many high school kids who would want to debate religion or are even interested in it, so I don’t think you’ll get very far in school. I would focus on my prayer life. It sounds as if you are intellectualizing your faith a bit too much, trying to “do” too much. Have you tried to just “BE” with the Lord? Spend time in quiet listening to where God is calling you.

It’s great that you’re trying to evangelize to your classmates. You are not wasting your time. But if they don’t seem to care don’t worry about it. Spend time with God in adoration and pray about what God wants you to do as far as apologetics. Keep up your work but if it is hurting your faith stop for a while. God bless.

Yeah, stop doing that. Time for a spiritual recharge. Try a retreat. If you can’t afford one, do one at home, yourself. Or go get a tent and find some woods and take some spiritual reading. Get away from being concerned with people and back to being in love with God.

You might just get offline altogether for a while leading up to Advent. Go volunteer someplace. Just change it. Always trust yourself about these kinds of feelings.

Hi JUlia, how would that work? Do you have sites or material to link me to. I’m spiritually and emotionally drained these days, one minute I think God is on my side, the next I think of all the little deaths I had to go through, the little cays of joy in an ocean of adversity, how some are so blessed and doing immeasurably better in all aspects than I ever will. I’m getting weary of fighting.

To OP, some people are incredibly vicious and heartless when it comes to God, they at the same time deny he exists and abhors him with a passion. Some, on the other hand, are perfectly indifferent. Choose more carefully who you’re gonna share your treasure with, Don’t give your pearls to swines. They’ll try to pull you down to their level.

They are when it’s a theists VS atheist debate.

Trust me.


Young people in particular, I appeal to you: bear witness to your faith through the digital world!..Employ these new technologies to make the Gospel known, so that the Good News of God’s infinite love for all people, will resound in new ways across our increasingly technological world!

[RIGHT]-Pope Benedict XVI, Vatican City, May 20, 2009[/RIGHT]

That being said, use Youtube! Blog! Post on a daily Bible quote and philosophize about it, on Facebook.

If it weren’t for faithful Catholics having evangelized me back, to my maternal faith, via Youtube, I wouldn’t be reverting right now. :stuck_out_tongue:

These are, currently, my favorite Catholic “evangelists” on Youtube:

*]She is Catholic
*]Young Catholic
*]Word on Fire Commentary, with Fr. Robert Barron

They are when it’s a theists VS atheist debate.

Trust me.

It’s very easy for most of us (myself included) to become distracted with the theory of our religion, and, especially, with arguing about it and handing out advice.

It’s also easy to rationalise it as “I need to know my stuff, and I need to help others”.

When I become aware of falling into this trap I just try to just pull myself away from it, and remember that prayer, the Bible and sacraments are more important, and also the duties of daily life.

So, It doesn’t make any difference where you are in life - high school or anywhere else - if you feel that apologetics, reading, or arguing are distracting you from higher things, or from your daily duties, then it is time to return to basics.

Yours is in inspiring post, however, and keep up the great work. I wish that my highs school years had been as well spent as yours are :slight_smile:

Good question!

This is my Favourite Youtube catholic place.

Especially the lectures given by Eddie Russell. There’s some powerful messages here.


Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you are not making a difference with your classmates. You are planting seeds. Some of them could take 20 years before they start growing. Let God use you. If you feel you’re doing all you can then that may just be what you are supposed to do. God will bring you the learning for the knowledge when it’s time. The courage to step out even more when it’s time is up to you. There’s a good video at the above address about courage.


There’s this book Do It at Home Retreat. That’s a Catholic book by Ignatian Press. I’m not that big a fan of the Ignatian retreat, but you might like it. You can go here retreatday.com/ for some ideas, but I think it’s ecumenical, though nothing to be objected to.

But I always made my own, since I live alone, by choosing a few days, telling everyone I was not answering the phone, staying off forums because silence is always part of my retreats. I go to daily Mass, often go someplace like a park to do some contemplative prayer. I have some spiritual reading I want to work through, like reading a saint’s diary. I turn off the TV of course and keep a journal of thoughts, which is often something I do on the computer. I go to an adoration room in the evenings.

I’m spiritually and emotionally drained these days, one minute I think God is on my side, the next I think of all the little deaths I had to go through, the little cays of joy in an ocean of adversity, how some are so blessed and doing immeasurably better in all aspects than I ever will.

I don’t want to seem disagreeable but - you don’t know they are “doing better.” See, whatever someone’s life looks like on the outside, we don’t know what God sees. For some, even taking the smallest step toward God is a huge effort, a great battle. For another, they seem to fly right up to the edge of heaven. That baby step can be of greater holiness than all the seemingly holier actions of others. Your struggle can be the very thing that makes your fight of such great value to God. (The last shall be first…)

BTW, one of my favorite retreats is to get a commentary on a gospel, you know, where they have the Scripture and discussion about the passages, and read those. I also like anything John Paul 2 wrote.

I’m getting weary of fighting.

May be time to stop fighting and just surrender into the Divine Mercy of Jesus. Hey, you remember in the Gospels when Jesus sends out the apostles the first time and He tells them if they are not welcomed, just shake the dust from their feet and move on? Remember Mary and Martha, and Martha running about serving and Mary is just sitting at Jesus’ feet listening and Jesus says “Mary chose the better part.”

Maybe just do that.

You’re a godsend, I’ll have a closer look later on today. Thanks a lot.

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