Give up. “Head of house” “submission” etc. have no practical application. Well perhaps, more precisely they only mean what the wife is willing to let them mean.
Blasting anything at her aint gonna do anything but make things worse.
The man, is basically nothing unless the wife says so, and if you don’t like that, leave, and the courts will give her custody and all you have worked for.
Cheery thought, I know, but there simply is no way around it. If Mama aint happy , aint nobody happy. And if you landed a Mama that won’t be happy unless she is in control, your are just plain stuck!