Head of the household?


#1

I don’t have the exact quote but would like to know what is meant by The Man/Husband being head of the household? Scripture alludes to this. I am not trying to say that I want to rule my house with an iron fist. I just want to know if for the sake of my children’s upbringing in the Catholic faith I can use this scripture quote to my wife who happens not to be Catholic? Yes yes yes…there was an understanding that the children would be Catholic prior to marriage. Now she is wavering. Along with continued reminders of our “agreement”, would it be a good idea to blast that particular scripture at her?


#2

Give up. “Head of house” “submission” etc. have no practical application. Well perhaps, more precisely they only mean what the wife is willing to let them mean.

Blasting anything at her aint gonna do anything but make things worse.

The man, is basically nothing unless the wife says so, and if you don’t like that, leave, and the courts will give her custody and all you have worked for.

Cheery thought, I know, but there simply is no way around it. If Mama aint happy , aint nobody happy. And if you landed a Mama that won’t be happy unless she is in control, your are just plain stuck!


#3

Christian teaching is that the father is the spiritual head of the household. This pretty much across the board in all christian denominations as well. I’m not sure there is a direct scripture. (edit- after researching this I see scripture is pretty direct on the role of the father)

Ephesians 5 is often used.

nccbuscc.org/nab/bible/ephesians/ephesians5.htm

Here’s a non Catholic commentary-Throw out the non Catholic stuff but several scriptures for you to look at to lead you .
gotquestions.org/fathers-Christian.html

I know Steve Wood has some stuff out there for Dads.

dads.org/articlesindex.asp

keepingitcatholic.org/father.html


#4

If you feel the need to “blast” your spouse with scripture, there are bigger problems, not to mention that approach would hardly be fruitful.


#5

I also think the head of the house hold does not “blast” his wife with anything. That is not a loving attitude. :frowning:


#6

before blasting your wife with scripture… which is what my husband would do… keep telling me about submission - remember that Jesus said first: **Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church. **

Christ loved the church so much that he gave up his life for the church. Do you love your wife so much as to give up everything, even your life? If you do, then this issue will not be there to begin with as you would not be asking for her submission. You do not love someone and then ask for their submission. People submit to your love not authority.

Is she bringing up the children in an ungodly manner? Teaching them to disrespect the Bible or the church? If not, I think you are ok and your kids will be ok too.


#7

“** Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church**”

Isn’t it odd how many people forget to add that part?


#8

yes it is amazing how they forget that part and I remember many on this forum saying that it is the husband’s part to show the love first and the submission follows automatically…

believe me, this was something that tortured me for many months till everyone on this forum was kind enough to drill the truth into me… thanks to everyone!!!

how can you not do everything under the sun for someone whom you know loves you so much as Christ loved the church?


#9

Ah yes, but our obedience (I happen to be a wife) to God’s Will for us does not depend on whether or not the husband obey’s God’s Will for himself.
Dying for your wife in no way means that you give up on teaching them the Catholic faith. However, it does mean you will probably have to work extra hard to teach them that which she will not.
Do not expect to go to work, and return home to find them saying the Rosary. Teach it to the children yourself. Gather them in the living room and read the Bible to them.
As the wife, I was dying when my oldest was a toddler and I was alone in any attempts to teach the faith. My husband had no interest in it. However, it was incumbent upon me to re-double my efforts in the absence of a spiritual head. I did it alone for the first 10years of our childrearing, and by the grace of God, my husband now attends daily Mass with us (as often as his work schedule allows), he is heavily involved in pro-life work, and says the Rosary with the kids when I am NOT around.
Do not badger your wife, just do your job and the graces will follow.
Let her see from your goodness, your kindness and thoughtfulness towards her that you have the Truth.


#10

Thank you exiled! By the sounds of it I was ready to go lay down by my dish! Blasted is the wrong word to use! I don’t blast anything but my gun! I will attempt to use a different word next time. Sorry for my vocabyoularry.
In the mean time I will be loving to my wife like I have been since our relationship started and I will strongly suggest she be obedient to this vow she made (children being raised Catholic). How soon some women forget how to keep a promise and live scripture out as well. How convenient many of you overlook the solemn vow given to me. Thats no big deal at all???


#11

What I find interesting about this is that I see more women coming to Church without their husbands then a man. In my experience it’s always been the women who is the spiritual leader it seems.

This really doesn’t help the OP I know :slight_smile: I just found it interesting.

I think talking about how important it is to you with your wife, that your children be brought up in the faith and telling her that you are concerned because she seems to wavering. Being honest makes for a strong marriage :slight_smile: I wouldn’t worry about scripture, talk.


#12

is she opposed to raising the kids Catholic?:confused:


#13

you have an interesting username…doesn’t seem to match your post. lol


#14

I think what you need to remember is that she isn’t Catholic…if she doesn’t embrace what you embrace, from a faith standpoint, why would she agree to raise the kids, Catholic? I’m just trying to show another point of view. I am not sure that’s a vow…it’s a promise, but not a vow. You’re wife not being Catholic, surely you wouldn’t think that everything would be smooth sailing, regarding your kids.
This will take time. Is your wife Christian?


#15

You sound as if you have had some bad experiences in this regard, but what you write is not true of all women.


#16

I like this approach. It is less “in your face” and aggressive than the original poster seems to want to be (ok - so I’m still hung up on the selection of the word blast).

To the Original Poster:
You don’t have to convince US of her promise, you have to figure out a way to convince her to want to raise the kids Catholic.

I bet you (OP) will find your wife more accepting with a loving and gentle nudge than bullying force.


#17

Yeah, I know not all women take their marriage vows lightly. I know not all men take their marriage vows lightly. I wasn’t implying you all fit that catagory. If you go to the original question I was simply looking for some advice about scripture and found myself in a vo-cab-you-larry figth. OOOPs i used the wrong word. Blast: 1. a violent gust of wind 2. the blowing of a trumpet,whistle,etc., 3. a loud sudden sound. **4. A VIGOROUS CRITICISM 5. an explosion 6. a blight. and so on and so on. I love my wife and I love my family and yes there is trouble when a spouse goes off of their word. It just so happens the spouse here is the woman and I thought the use of that particular scripture would help.
I realize talking to a priest is probably the best medicine for me right now. Not defending my choice of words or opinion. I will go that route.
By the way hopefuldad-change your name!


#18

talking to a priest would be a good idea, but until your wife embraces what you do…it will be a difficult thing, unless she just succombs to your way of thinking, without embracing it. i am all for marrying people not of our own faith, but here is an example of what can happen, when we do. that’s the thing. a priest will not change the fact that your wife does not embrace Catholicism. Let’s say I’m a smoker…but I turn around and tell my kids not to smoke–will I be convincing? Same thing applies here…she won’t be supportive, if she doesn’t believe what you believe. Perhaps, there is a happy medium where she just ‘stays out’ of the religiousity of your children. As their mother, I guess she is regretting her ‘agreement.’ :o


#19

Yes, this can be used as an argument against mixed-religion marriages. I am sure there are good ones out there but the bottom line is that it is tuff as nails. Support is what is needed, not criticism. Its done and over with. If anyone in the future wants to know about mixed religion marriage I will tell them and it won’t be sugar-coated. (there is some good-believe it or not, but there is also a lot of bad).


#20

Yeah, I guess I should change the name. How bout, finallyacceptedthefactsoflifeafterpowerlesslywatchingmywifesendourchildrentohellwithherunderminingways? Kinda long though!


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.