About 12-13 years ago I began experiencing weakness in my legs and arms. I had been a runner. I ran in numerous 10k events and usually ran 30 miles a week…I kept in shape and looked pretty good if I do say so myself…for a man in his late 30’s to early 40’s anyway…but the weakness started hitting me hard…I quit running as my first thought was it was just “old age” catching up to me. I began to gain weight…but not all over…only around the middle. I started noticing my arms and legs looked…skinny…I had always had large legs…I couldn’t wear Levi’s 501’s because my thighs were so muscular and my calves wouldn’t fit into the 30" waist. I went from wearing an extra large tapered shirt to a baggy large.
After months of tests and biopsys of my muscles, it was found I had “polymyocitis”…a degnerative muscle disease…prognosis did not look good. My body had quit burning fat and started burning only muscle.
I soon found my strength gone, and I fell qite a bit and breathing was difficult…the diaphram is a muscle that was effected too, we hadn’t thought of it before until I found it difficult to cough.
One visit my doctor told me…“I don’t know what to do…get your affairs in order, if you want to do something or go somewhere, now would be the time to do it…if you want to walk on the beach or go on a trip…do it now…you have maybe six months.”
I took my concern to my Meeting and asked for their prayers. I began meeting with a hospice worker and “making arrangements”…my prayer was to be able to die with grace, dignity and truth. I was afraid, but I knew I was in Good Hands, and my Meeting held me before the Light often…I soon found a peace I now look back on and see “wonder” and “awe” as I sensed the Presence with me. I had asked if I couldn’t be healed, “Please, don’t let me be afraid, I give this to You.”
About two to three months later my doctor called and said he had been talking to Stanford Muscular Dystrophy Clinic in the SF Bay Area, and had an appointment set up for me…I couldn’t drive by then and was in a walker. The specialist reviewed my biopsys and EMG’s…came back and said…“I know what’s wrong with you, we can treat it, but the treatment might be worse than the disease.”…
I began massive doses of prednezone the next day…and after a year of treatment, I no longer needed a walker…I could climb a limited amount of stairs and no longer met with the hospice nurse…I’m not healed completely…I still must be on steroids to keep the muscle loss at bay…but they’re new and experimental steroids that don’t cause as much organ damage…that was 12-13 years ago…now, each and every morning as I wake to get ready to go to work, I go outside, rain, snow, cold, sun…no matter what, unless I’m sick with the flu or a cold…and I stand for a few moments in the Presence…thankful for this day…grateful for my “healing”,
I’m 52 years old…I can’t run, but I sure can walk fast!!! I’ve learned to slow down and live in the Moment …I think the next time I face mortality…it will be a new experience…I had a good Teacher last time, so I know He won’t fail when I do face that Final Journey…I do believe there is an Ocean of Light and Love that will hold us up. I remember the old seaman’s prayer…“Lord my boat is so small, and the sea is so large.” …but I remember a story of a troubled sea and a Man alseep in a small boat and something about “Peace be still.”