HELP ME!!! :eek:
Remember how I was terribly feared by the fact of the Eucharistic Miracles? I was convinced that it happened and could happen, because ANYTHING is possible with God
Now, after reading this, (if you have the time, read ALL)
madredelleucaristia.it/eng/miracles.htm I suddenly had this feeling that what if it was just to decieve people and the people made it up (I know, whack me on the head for even thinking a thought like that! )
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! You guys have no clue how frustrated I am with myself for not believing, yet I want to believe and have a desire to believe it can happen (sounds like a contradiction, I know). I don’t get it…a couple weeks ago, I believed, but now I’m to the point of it’s impossible.
Why is my heart hardened by this true fact (hopefully, it’s true!) and I’m trying to “lighten” my heart to believe but I can’t do it. I DON’T want my heart hardened by it. Yet my soul feels saddened because I can’t believe when I know it could be true. It’s like there’s a part of me that says it’s impossible! and there’s a part of me that tells me, it’s true, believe! And then the two feelings “fight” with each other, giving me the results of “not knowing”. Know what I’m talking about?
I’ve been praying about this a lot (yes, even to Mary even!) to open my heart again to it and help me believe but nothing happens. What on earth is going on? Am I being tested?
And I really DON’T want to disappoint Christ, Mary, etc. Now what?