Heartache for my bestfriend


#1

I already posted in the prayer request section, I guess I’m just venting a heartache of my own.

My bestfriend (since we were 12) called today and asked me to meet her saying she needed to talk. When I met up with her she told me she just found out her 17 year old daughter is pregnant.

My dear friend (I’ll call her Lynn) gave birth to her daughter “Ashley” when she was 17 and she married 2 weeks later. She has worked very hard to give her daughter the best life possible. I watched Ashley grow up from a adorable little girl to a bright and talented young woman. She’s an excellant student, belongs to a competition dance troop, is part of a teen small group at church, teaches little ones dance and is sweet, polite and all around good kid.

Lynn and I were talking just last Sunday about making plans to get together to make a photo scrapbook for Ashley’s graduation party that would be next June. And we talked about Ashley’s college plans.

Three years ago Lynn began attending church for the first time since her teens. She was raised in a fire and brimstone almost cult like Pentecostal church that left her very wary of organized religion. I was there when her, her husband and her 2 daughters were baptized (non-denom) and her son was dedicated.

She is filled with guilt for not raising her daughter in the faith most of her life and because she herself was a teen mom she thinks she some how gave “the ok” for Ashley to follow in her footsteps. Even though her and her husband have talked extensively about waiting till marriage with their daughter over the last couple years, taken her to teen youth rallies promoting abstinence and shared the difficulties they had in being young parents. They made it clear that they themselves had sinned by chosing to have sex outside of marriage.

Lynn’s mom was a teen too when she was born and she was adopted by her grandmother. She had such hopes for her daughter breaking the cycle. She’s grieving for all her daughter will miss out on in senior year and worries about people being judgemental and cruel to her daughter. She’s determined to make sure her daughter still goes to college.

I stood by my friend 17 years ago when she was a pregnant teen and tried my best to help her in anyway I could. I hurt for her and all she’s going through and for Ashley whose life is now changed because of a stupid, impulsive, teenage decision.

Please keep them in your prayers.


#2

Praying…if “Lynn” and her daughter have not considered it, adoption is a beautiful option. I bet Lynn is hurting though, and blaming herself for her daughter’s actions…all of which is balderdash.


#3

Thankyou. Being an adopted child myself I know adoption is a wonderful choice. As of right now Ashley wants to raise the baby, but if she changes her mind Lynn said she and her husband would raise it. She’s only 34 and has a 4 year old son whose actually closer in age to his future neice or nephew than his big sister.


#4

The irony! Lynn is feeling much the same feeling that her mother must have felt when Lynn got pregnant as a teenager. Then again, Lynn managed to turn her life around. So there is hope that Ashley can and will too. This is the time for Lynn to put her faith and prayer to work. Maybe her other children will break the family teenage pregnancy cycle.


#5

My bestfriend sent this to me last night which left me teary eyed.

llerrah.com/mygodlyfriend.htm


#6

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.