Greetings everyone, my first post.
I’m really on the edge of reason and my faith these days. Within a year after our first child’s birth my wife had an affair. I stewed over it for a good while, collected legal evidence, and eventually left her returning with our infant daughter to live with my parents (2003). Some months later we reconciled and for the past 6 years life has been getting steadily better, in 2007 our 2nd child was born.
This week my entire world has come crashing down. I’ve had suspicions for some time, the way she says something, the “business” dinner that goes until 11PM, out and out refusing to be affectionate, etc.
I have now discovered, that she has been carrying on a relationship since at least as far back as while she was pregnant with our 2nd child. On top of this it appears that dating or one night stands might have been going on with more than just the aforementioned person.
Needless to say, I’m contacting several lawyers this week. I sat here tonight and we chatted about things regarding the work and the children. I almost couldn’t keep up my faux face, as I thought about how much I will miss the woman I have loved so dearly all this time. How lost I will be with out our friendship, our partnership, and our teamwork that has seemed to work so well these last few years.
I wonder am I right? I ask myself, is it better to raise my two little girls alone or with an adulterer in the house? If we get divorced and I do not win custody, will my daughters grow up to be like their mother? Will she poison their minds with hatred because I forced the issue and petitioned for the divorce when she has custody of them?
Then I look at our life, I read the emails between her and her fling and think, how can she live this fake life, with church, choir, the Mom’s group, PTA, and so forth when the actions she takes in our marriage are in such opposition. How can she live with her self in sin and still take communion? The only answers I hear in my head are that she must not have faith, she must not believe in what I believe, in what she was raise to believe.
The greatest predictor of future behavior is past behavior. This is the 2nd time I’ve caught her being unfaithful. Fool me once…
I am not here to seek advice, I know these decisions are between me and the Lord. I would ask for your prayers, and appreciate your reading your comments and thoughts.