I will try to keep this as short as possible without being too confusing.
A little back story:
I have a brother (Michael) who is one year older than me, and 4 years ago he and his wife decided they didn’t want anything to do with my parents, me or my family, or my younger brother and his now wife. This went on for 2 years, without any reason why. They also had a (then) 2 year old daughter (she’s 6 now). Needless to say my parents were heartbroken because they didn’t understand and he wouldn’t tell them. My brother and I were very upset because we hated to see our parents being treated that way with no reason why. Things are better now with Michael and my parents and my brother and his wife, but he refuses to acknowledge me or my family. To this day we still have no idea why he did what he did, and it’s pretty much been swept under the rug by my mother.
During the 2 years that this ordeal took place, my paternal grandfather got really sick, and eventually passed away. One Sunday, my mother had cooked dinner and my grandfather was there. He was so sick and pitiful, and he asked if I could go get my little niece (who was being kept away) because he wanted to see her. He knew his final days were nearing, and wanted to see her before he died. She lived across the street from my parents (and still does), and I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I couldn’t get her. I figured I could try and didn’t think Michael’s wife would keep her from him.
Well, I walked over and politely asked to have my niece for a couple of minutes because “Pop” was very sick (she knew this) and wanted to see her before he died. Her response was “that’s HIS problem”. :eek: :mad: It took e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g I had not to slap her square across her face. I said some not so nice things to her and told her what I thought about what she was doing to my grandfather and my parents. I admit, I was wrong, and reacted out of emotion. I did apologize to her about 2 years ago for that, but part of me really isn’t sorry for saying SOME of what I did (though I never said that when I apoligized).
My younger brother also had words with her, and so did my Dad. Let’s just say it was a nasty family situation. (As a side note, my SIL was married before and caused the EXACT same kind of trouble with her ex’s family). My Dad nor my brother ever apologized to her, as they didn’t feel that she deserved one.
My mother called me EVERY single day for 2 years, and I was pretty much a shoulder to cry on and help her through what her son was doing. She knew she could call me any time of day as often as she wanted, and I would listen. My brother eventually started talking to them again, after in my opinion, my mother kissed his rear enough. He eventually came around to my Dad and brother too, because his wife and my new SIL are currently best friends.:shrug:
To this day, and for the past 2 years since he decided he wanted to be a part of the family again, he and his wife TOTALLY ignore me, my husband, and my kids when we are at my parents. They all constantly get together outside of my parents’ and we are constantly excluded. It hurts my feelings beyond words. He nor his wife (especially) ever apologized to anyone, and they treat me like I am the village sinner. My husband never said a word to either one of them while this whole ordeal went on, but yet my brother and SIL treat him like he’s the rug at the door. They constantly make comments like “Engineers are so stupid. I know more than some f’ing Engineer.” Hubby is so mature about it, and just ignores it…but I must say…I am nearing the end of my rope.
My brother also cusses beyond belief, and it’s gotten so bad I have actually had to move my kids outdoors so they wouldn’t hear it. He also talks about inappropriate things in front of his 6 yr old daughter and step children…things I am too embarrased to say here on the forum.
This past Friday, after enduring another visit where me and my children were ignored…I finally had the guts to call and tell my mom that I no longer wanted to visit at her home if Michael was there. I asked her what his problem was with me and my family, and she yelled at me and told me she didn’t want to talk about it. She also told me that I just go to her house “looking for things to complain about”. She said that it’s our problem to figure out and she doesn’t want to be involved. I tried to explain to her that I wasn’t involving her, but I am tired of the way he acts with me and my family and am so confused as to why he does it. She hung up on me:confused: , and I haven’t heard from her since Friday evening.